elle95
18-07-22, 02:12
Hi guys, just wanted to vent here. If anyone has some any encouragement words or is going through the same I would appreciate your input..
So I earned a scholarship and currently I'm applying for a student visa. One of the requirements is showing a medical certificate by one of the authorized docs by the consulate. So the doctor I went to ordered the following tests: complete blood count, creatinine, Bun, blood sugar, B and C heps, Syphilis, liver markers and a Chest/lung Xray.
It's been three years since my last checkup and everything was remarkable except my platelets that were a bit high and protein traces in urine.
Right now I'm scared my blood count will show I have cancer either leukemia, lymphoma or one of the rare blood cancers.
Or that my creatinine will be super elevated and that I will be diagnosed with kidney failure and be put on dialysis.
Or maybe my Lung Xray will show I have lung cancer or lung mets from other primary cancer (I was worried and had symptoms of bone cancer a couple months ago which almost all the time metastasizes to lungs, so there is that as well).
I'm trying to be positive but I fear if I remain positive then that means something bad will really happen.
In my more than 10 years suffering from health anxiety, whenever I had a test I used to check the results before showing them to the doc. I doubt I will be able to do so this time. I'm sure I will go into full panic and irrational mode If I see something off.
I'm so sad because doing my masters in Europe was one of my dreams and after having some miserable years with my mental health, family issues etc I saw this as an scape. And now If I were to be diagnosed with something it will ruin everything I aimed for. I'm really scared :(
So I earned a scholarship and currently I'm applying for a student visa. One of the requirements is showing a medical certificate by one of the authorized docs by the consulate. So the doctor I went to ordered the following tests: complete blood count, creatinine, Bun, blood sugar, B and C heps, Syphilis, liver markers and a Chest/lung Xray.
It's been three years since my last checkup and everything was remarkable except my platelets that were a bit high and protein traces in urine.
Right now I'm scared my blood count will show I have cancer either leukemia, lymphoma or one of the rare blood cancers.
Or that my creatinine will be super elevated and that I will be diagnosed with kidney failure and be put on dialysis.
Or maybe my Lung Xray will show I have lung cancer or lung mets from other primary cancer (I was worried and had symptoms of bone cancer a couple months ago which almost all the time metastasizes to lungs, so there is that as well).
I'm trying to be positive but I fear if I remain positive then that means something bad will really happen.
In my more than 10 years suffering from health anxiety, whenever I had a test I used to check the results before showing them to the doc. I doubt I will be able to do so this time. I'm sure I will go into full panic and irrational mode If I see something off.
I'm so sad because doing my masters in Europe was one of my dreams and after having some miserable years with my mental health, family issues etc I saw this as an scape. And now If I were to be diagnosed with something it will ruin everything I aimed for. I'm really scared :(