Worst health anxiety in years....the cancerphobia is real

[MandaIsAnxious]

I am at my wits end with all of this and could use some support.

Usually I get a break from anxiety in the summer but over the last couple of months my anxiety has been so so bad. I was utterly convinced I had ovarian cancer, then my pelvic pain away, then esophageal cancer, and how I am absolutely terrified I have cancer in my sinuses. I have been having a great summer besides this crap...I just don't understand why I am having such a hard time. I drove to four different urgent cares today to be seen for my sinuses and I am currently waiting to be seen.

I am so embarrassed and ashamed. I never give in and rush to the doctor for this stuff!

I can barely eat and I've been forgetting to drink fluids.

I am the mom to two young children and I think the thought of leaving them drives this HA. It's completely awful!

[cattia]

Yeah I hear you. Pretty much every health anxiety flare up I have is over cancer. It's my biggest fear. My kids are older (12, 11 and 7) but still not old enough to be left without a mum. I struggle all the time when my anxiety gets bad and I find it hard to enjoy the time I have with them. My anxiety is always worse when I have more time so basically a lot of holidays and family time gets taken over with anxiety and means they don't get the best of me because I'm so distracted by thoughts of death. It's happening now, we are on a family holiday and instead of cherishing the time I'm having a massive episode of anxiety. Actually had a full on panic attack yesterday which rarely happens these days. I also filled out a form to get a callback from my Dr yesterday and I can really relate to what you say about feeling embarrassed too. I feel like they must read my stuff and just roll their eyes. But I'm so afraid of missing something.

[ErinKC]

Becoming a mom was the trigger for my anxiety for that exact reason.

Don’t feel ashamed. You’re in a high anxiety state and doing what you need to to try and manage it. When you see the doctor at urgent care also mention your anxiety.

[Enoughalready!]

Add me to the list of women who were triggered by becoming a mom. Cancer is also my biggest health fear. In fact, I just saw my doctor today for odd shin pain. He didn’t find anything wrong but ordered an X-ray just in case I have a small fracture but I kinda don’t want to go because -what if they find a tumor. Thankfully I’m finally at a point (after nearly twenty years!) that my health anxiety is decently manageable and I’ve only lost a wee bit of sleep over it.
Anyway, I can relate. I’ve been in very, very bad places (psychologically) over the years and absolutely zero of my fears have come to fruition. Have you sought treatment for your anxiety?

[MandaIsAnxious]

Yeah I hear you. Pretty much every health anxiety flare up I have is over cancer. It's my biggest fear. My kids are older (12, 11 and 7) but still not old enough to be left without a mum. I struggle all the time when my anxiety gets bad and I find it hard to enjoy the time I have with them. My anxiety is always worse when I have more time so basically a lot of holidays and family time gets taken over with anxiety and means they don't get the best of me because I'm so distracted by thoughts of death. It's happening now, we are on a family holiday and instead of cherishing the time I'm having a massive episode of anxiety. Actually had a full on panic attack yesterday which rarely happens these days. I also filled out a form to get a callback from my Dr yesterday and I can really relate to what you say about feeling embarrassed too. I feel like they must read my stuff and just roll their eyes. But I'm so afraid of missing something.

Oh my goodness, I resonate with all of this so much. It's horrible that you have to deal with this too but in some sick way it feels really good not being alone in all of this. I am also more anxious when I have more time on my hands so all day today I was busy with work and was not worrying and then this evening when I was free I became all anxious again. AND I had therapy today and was so happy to report I'd been feeling better and now tonight I feel like I'm back at square one! It was bad enough when I was younger and did not have children yet and worried only about myself but now I also worry about my children on top of it. Besides staying busy, have you found anything else that helps you? I have been trying to practice deep breathing exercises with limited success.

I am simultaneously perplexed and jealous of people who do not have these worries. I love my children so dearly and want to cherish every moment but I am so busy thinking about all of the horrible things that could go wrong that I cannot enjoy the moments I wish to. I understand this and I want to get there...I am just at a loss as to how.

I am sorry for taking so long to respond....I'd been doing really well and trying to stay away....

[MandaIsAnxious]

Add me to the list of women who were triggered by becoming a mom. Cancer is also my biggest health fear. In fact, I just saw my doctor today for odd shin pain. He didn’t find anything wrong but ordered an X-ray just in case I have a small fracture but I kinda don’t want to go because -what if they find a tumor. Thankfully I’m finally at a point (after nearly twenty years!) that my health anxiety is decently manageable and I’ve only lost a wee bit of sleep over it.
Anyway, I can relate. I’ve been in very, very bad places (psychologically) over the years and absolutely zero of my fears have come to fruition. Have you sought treatment for your anxiety?

I have sought treatment for my anxiety on and off for years. My latest stint in therapy started 11 months ago and I'm still going strong. On top of the anxiety, I also separated from my husband a year ago this week and made a big move with my children. It's been a tough few years! I have also been on various SSRIs and SNRIs...currently on Effexor, which I'd like to get off TBH.

How did your x-ray go? Did they find anything?

When I went to urgent care for my sinuses, I immediately told the PA about why I was really there, my anxiety, etc. and she was so so so kind to me. It was a great experience and while it was embarrassing, I am glad that I went and was seen for peace of mind. I have been good until today. I just want it to be gone forever. It's so frustrating!