Stopping seeking reassurance

[athene]

Hi,

I've got GAD - diagnosed in 2002 - and treated with paroxetine, olanzapine and therapy. I've made lots of good progress over the years and can manage day to day life generally fine. However, I've noticed that I'm very often seeking reassurance and approval. Does anyone else do that and can you suggest tips for moving away from it? I feel I burden two of my friends and my husband a lot by texting to seek reassurance that I've done the right thing or that something isn't such a big deal.

S

[Catkins]

I tend to do it too. I'm really trying hard at the moment to reassure myself by trying to say the things that I would say to a friend to myself, it's particularly difficult when I go through a period of high anxiety. But I'm keeping at it and hopefully it'll stick.

[pulisa]

I think asking for reassurance once is quite ok and acceptable but to do it repeatedly is a sign that you need to turn to other ways to comfort yourself without involving other people. It's all a matter of having confidence in yourself over the decisions that you make and in your reactions to certain challenging situations. You don't always need anyone else's seal of approval before you do something..Obviously sometimes you will need to but it shouldn't become a habit.

I think you gain confidence in yourself by practising and praising yourself when you have avoided going down the reassurance route. Your opinions and decisions matter and have worth.

[athene]

Thanks - I think practice is the key. There was one thing earlier this week where I said to myself 'I won't seek reassurance' and so far, that has gone well! Maybe affirmations would be good too?

[pulisa]

Whatever works for you..Your goal is to be able to reassure yourself and to reinforce the message to yourself that you can. The more you can do this the more confidence you will gain in your own judgement.