Strange new anxiety feelings

[Seffie]

I've had anxiety, mostly health anxiety, for years but it always shows up the same way with physical symptoms etc. I have had a difficult 4-5 years-lost my dad after he was unwell for 18 months, my brother got cancer & we lost him last October-he was only 63 & watching him be so ill was traumatic. During this time I also developed CFS which I still have but feel I am much better & starting to recover.
So for the past 2 weeks my husband was working away & my son lives 5 hours away so have been living on my own. I felt my health anxiety increase, plus I felt trembly on some days & just overall apprehensive. Then last week I had this strange 'depressed' feeling wash over me, it didn't last long but I just felt flat & kind of hopeless. This only lasted around 10 seconds, I should say I've never had depression in my life other than usual low mood that people sometimes get due to life events.
I also seem to be hyperaware of myself & my thoughts, like there's another part of me watching what I do, it's not really like DP/DR but just feel too self aware somehow. I can think / function normally but just feel this pressing sense of self & of course this is triggering my health anxiety. I'm not on any medication & don't want to be. I just wanted to know if this is 'normal' for anxiety. I don't think I have had it before & as life was starting to improve not sure where this anxiety feeling has come from, other than being on my own a lot. My husband was home yesterday & I felt pretty normal all day but woke up with this weird feeling again today. Thanks

[Seffie]

I have been a member on NMP for years and used to be very active on the forum but this is the 2nd time I have posted on here this year and received 0 replies, very disappointing when I see other threads getting a lot of responses 🤷*♀️

[pulisa]

Sorry that you aren't happy with the service on here..

I think you're being hyperaware of yourself and of your actions. What condition do you think you are developing if you don't want to put this down to anxiety?

You've been through a lot recently and have now found yourself on your own for a while so have perhaps had more time to think and ruminate? Hence the increased self-vigilance? I wouldn't see it as being "significant" in terms of your physical health.

[Seffie]

I didn’t say I wasn’t happy with the service?! What a strange thing to say, I said I was disappointed that both times I posted this year I haven’t had any responses which wasn’t my previous experience of using the forum, I always used to find a lot of compassionate support here and I tried to support others as well, maybe it’s changed. I do want to put it down to anxiety which is why I was asking if others have experienced similar, I just meant that it seems to have come out of nowhere as I rarely experience that kind of anxiety anymore. Thanks for taking the time to reply

[NoraB]

I have been a member on NMP for years and used to be very active on the forum but this is the 2nd time I have posted on here this year and received 0 replies, very disappointing when I see other threads getting a lot of responses 路*♀️

Sorry nobody replied to you, Seffie. (Sometimes threads get overlooked if there's a lot going on)

In answer to your question, I've experienced what you describe, as in moments of hopelessness sandwiched in-between severe anxiety. Anxiety is all about being hyper-aware. Hyper aware of our thoughts, sensations and our environment. It's down to the stress response, and it's normal in that respect. (It's just that this normal response to danger is happening when we're not in actual danger)

I love your avatar by the way..

[Seffie]

Thanks very much for replying and your helpful comments x I know posts dont always get replies but its the 2nd time it happened so just seemed strange! Yes I think you’re right plus living alone means you can easily focus on yourself too much x I chose my avatar when I joined NMP, thanks! xx

[pulisa]

I hope you feel a bit more reassured and "safe" now that your husband is back...and that the hyper-awareness dies down gradually. It won't happen overnight but now that you have an explanation for what you are experiencing maybe it will make it easier to accept? I hope so.

[Seffie]

Thanks, still got trembly buzzing sensations but need to try to accept and hope it eases

[pulisa]

It will do if you don't give these sensations too much significance/focus.

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/generalised-anxiety-disorder/symptoms/

[Seffie]

Thanks and thanks for the link x I’m not new to anxiety or its symptoms snd I work hard to recover from it using Claire Weekes approach but i do struggle if I get something I havent had before and can’t explain it x have recently cut back on vit D and magnesium so not sure if theres a link x thanks

[pulisa]

I would say that it's more down to life circumstances, Seffie and having some time alone which can gives your HA time to infiltrate into your thoughts?
I also think that any new sensations/feelings which you can't immediately explain or see as a manifestation of anxiety tend to nag away at you and cause you distress and worry?

[Seffie]

yes probably thanks 👍