Anxiety about going to work

[samjess]

👋 Hello 👋
I’m posting to rant and see if anyone has any advice really. I m a long time anxiety sufferer and have had periods of my life where I had severe panic attacks and couldn’t leave the house. Thankfully, I recovered from that dark place, got married, had children and have been leading a relatively‘normal’ life. Anxiety is never far away however and I do live with it and have been mostly able to cope. However, I have been trying to return (after 20 years) to nursing, having left (due to burnout) I have completed the uni part and am now in the clinical area. I was ‘getting through’ it by the skin of my teeth but for various reasons including having a minor operation missed several weeks of my placement. Now I am back to square one but worse my anxiety is overwhelming me. Today I got ready and drove to my shift only to turn around in the car park and go home. I’m so close to finishing it. I’ve just got zero confidence and today my stomach was terrible and I couldn’t get off the toilet. I have assessments and competencies to complete and I just don’t know if I can do it. It’s not an area where I want to work but I have to complete the placement to requalify and apply for the jobs I really do want and which will be ok for me. How can I get through this. I’m so upset and embarrassed

[Phill2]

I know it seems impossible but take a deep breath and go for it.
If you let it win once it will keep winning.

[fishman65]

Hi samjess. You're so right in saying that anxiety is never far away. All we can do is battle on through and achieve whatever we can. Have you tried reading any of Claire Weekes's books? They are full of good advice from someone who has suffered with anxiety herself. You have done brilliantly so far. Try to hang in there.

[samjess]

Thank you both.
I’m going in tomorrow. I am. I’m really really shaking even thinking about it, but I have to at least try.

[.Poppy.]

You can do this. Does it help to think of it as only temporary? Once you get through this you'll be able to do what you like.

Maybe something like a treat at the end of each day, or crossing off the remaining days on a calendar would help you get through the part that's less ideal.

[fishman65]

Thank you both.
I’m going in tomorrow. I am. I’m really really shaking even thinking about it, but I have to at least try.Will be thinking of you samjess. Just do the best you can :hugs:

[Phill2]

That's the spirit mate :yesyes:

[Phill2]

How did you go jess?

[samjess]

I didn’t go in yet.
I couldn’t go. I have a cold now and that was making me feel even worse, so I pressed pause and told them I’ll come in on Saturday. I had a momentary relief from anxiety symptoms, but now it’s getting closer I’m feeling awful again.
It’s a half hour drive over so I get into my head on the way. Im worried about needing the toilet all the time when I’m there. Worried about facing everyone again. Just worried I’ll make a fool of myself. Scared to start and be trapped there for 8 hours if I feel ill.
This is awful 😢

[Phill2]

You'll be fine.
The anticipation is always worse than actually doing it.