I’m a ticking time bomb 😭

[Hayneedshelp]

I’ve suffered with extreme health anxiety for 6 years now. It started as emetophobia which I done hypnotism for and eventually worked. Then it worked itself into any kind of life threatening health anxiety.
My main thought is my 3 young girls. I can’t be without them and they can’t be without me.
I’m literally not coping anymore. It’s one thing after the other but each episode is lasting months at a time. When I finally get the positive proof outcome that I’ve needed I’ll instantly feel better. Then I’ll notice something else.
The worst thing is the physical sensations. When I thought there was a problem with my breasts they were painful, I couldn’t touch them, one looked different somehow, I thought I felt a lump but got it all checked and it’s fine,.. then the sensations stopped.
Now it’s my throat and chest. I don’t even need to tell you what’s going through my head. My throat feels blocked but it’s not, my chest is so heavy and I always feel like I need to take a deep breath. I’ve done the whole run up the hospital to get checked thing I think around 20 times.. I just can’t bring myself to do it anymore. The mental pain I feel waiting to be seen it get an answer is worse than the initial panic.
Once, one of the doctors kept asking me what drugs I was taking because of how irrational I was being. Si

[BlueIris]

Okay, first things first: are you getting any sort of professional help for your anxiety?

[NoraB]

I’ve suffered with extreme health anxiety for 6 years now. It started as emetophobia which I done hypnotism for and eventually worked. Then it worked itself into any kind of life threatening health anxiety.
My main thought is my 3 young girls. I can’t be without them and they can’t be without me.

I understand the fear, completely. However, it might help you to understand how resilient children are. My friend died, leaving her 9-year-old son. He didn't wither away without her. He missed her, obviously, but he was well supported and is now fifteen and enjoying life in high school. When something happens to us, other people step up. (Human beings are really good like that). Also, you don't want to raise your children to feel helpless without you. Your job, and from the moment they are born, is to raise them for independence.

The reality is that we have no choice in having to leave people behind when we die, and we also don't take that fear with us. Children not only survive without a parent, but they can thrive. (And isn't that what any loving parent would want?)


I’m literally not coping anymore. It’s one thing after the other but each episode is lasting months at a time. When I finally get the positive proof outcome that I’ve needed I’ll instantly feel better. Then I’ll notice something else.

Are you functioning and able to look after your children? (If the answer is yes, you're coping better then you are telling yourself)


The worst thing is the physical sensations. When I thought there was a problem with my breasts they were painful, I couldn’t touch them, one looked different somehow, I thought I felt a lump but got it all checked and it’s fine,.. then the sensations stopped.

Those physical sensations are down to fight or flight - a physiological response to your anxious thoughts. (Thinking works the other way too)


Now it’s my throat and chest. I don’t even need to tell you what’s going through my head. My throat feels blocked but it’s not, my chest is so heavy and I always feel like I need to take a deep breath. I’ve done the whole run up the hospital to get checked thing I think around 20 times.. I just can’t bring myself to do it anymore. The mental pain I feel waiting to be seen it get an answer is worse than the initial panic.


Again, fight or flight commonly affects the throat and chest. With anxiety disorders like HA, the brain thinks we are in danger when we're actually not. There is no 'near miss', no bear, no tiger - no actual danger. It's our thoughts which are triggering this response. Because these (normal) symptoms are happening in the absence of an apparent cause (as in a car hurtling at us at high speed) this causes us to believe there's something physically wrong with us. So, we have more anxious thoughts. We catastrophise and become irrational. And the result is that we are continually triggering the fight or flight and producing those stress hormones (adrenalin and cortisol etc) which are there to help us to run faster or fight to stay alive. We can experience multiple physical symptoms (there are literally hundreds) and to the point where we feel so very ill that we genuinely think we are about to drop dead. (Only we never do)


Once, one of the doctors kept asking me what drugs I was taking because of how irrational I was being.

HA can make an irrational mess out of the most intelligent of people..

You need some help in learning how to challenge your thoughts and CBT can help you here, but also, you do need to try and accept that you cannot control every situation. No human can. You need to accept that, to live, means that we also have to die - as does every living thing on this planet, including Sir Cliff Richard who is now 250 years old. Life also means that there's potential for illness, but illness doesn't mean death. (I've had numerous illnesses in my life, but I have yet to die, you get me?)

Learn about the stress response. Learn how to challenge your thoughts. Acceptance. Do these things and you will effectively control your HA. (Or kick the damn thing to the gutter forever)