Red blemish on nose

[AnxietyGirl30]

Hello everyone hope you are all well.

I am going through a healthy anxiety episode atm after a long long time without any worries. A few days ago I noticed a tiny red blemish dot on my nose and thought nothing much of it it. But this evening whilst lying in bed my mind began focusing on it and I stupidly searched red blemish on nose and I managed to come across skin cancer of course!!
I showed my partner and he said looks like nothing and will probably go. But then my mind does the thing of “what if it doesn’t go” “it must be something deadly serious” I’m telling myself it’s all in my mind and it doesn’t look anything like the skin cancer photos I have see (I know I shouldn’t even be looking and I’ve told myself off)
It doesn’t itch, bleed, flake, it does absolutely nothing. It’s really small but because I don’t know how it came to be my stupid mind won’t rest.
I’m going to monitor it but try not to obsess over it and obviously look for changes. If it’s still there in a few weeks I will probably see my doctor just for peace of mind because I know it will continue to bug me until I have a reason for it being there.

Hoping for some positive words or advice how to control my health anxiety.

[ServerError]

The nose is a particularly common place to get pimples and other random benign marks and lumps because it's an oily area of skin. Chances are what you've got is a minor infection of one of the tiny little pores, leading to a bit of low-grade inflammation. Trouble is, if you search any kind of mark on the skin on Google, skin cancer is pretty much always going to be one of the results that comes back. However, what you describe doesn't sound worrying. It wouldn't worry me if I had something like that - I currently have a huge spot on my jaw which is a bit sore and inflamed but it's not worrying me.

It does sound like the beast has found something to latch on to.

[AnxietyGirl30]

Yes I feel it has to! I’m very annoyed with myself, I’ve tried to calm myself down now, I got into a huge panic earlier, uncontrollable crying and a feeling of dread. But I’m trying to rationalise my thoughts that it is just a blemish on my nose and nothing more.

[AnxietyGirl30]

Not doing so well with my anxiety today, this blemish is still getting me down even though I know realistically it’s nothing but there’s that crappy little voice in the back of mind saying what if what if!
I’ve given in to it and made an appointment for a doctor to call me back in the next couple of days and sent a photo of the blemish. I feel if I leave it I’m going to spiral deeper into worry. I’m hoping once I’ve spoken to a doctor it will give me some reassurance.

[Scass]

Is there anything else going on at the moment that’s got you focusing on the blemish instead of other stuff?

[AnxietyGirl30]

I’m pregnant.. don’t know if that’s making my anxiety particularly high at the moment and I’m not taking my sertraline anymore due to being pregnant so that could also be a contribution. In my appointment notes I did say first and foremost to my doctor that I believe it’s my health anxiety that’s the issue here so I’m hoping she can talk me down from this stupid cycle I’m in at the moment.
I’m also not having a great time with my relationship with my partner either. He’s left the family home and I’ve been on my own with 3 kids for the past 4 months and I’m feeling very alone along with the stress that comes with taking care of three kids as well as everything else alone. I’m definitely depressed I know that, because before this blemish episode I was feeling very down and crying all the time. I’m also exhausted because I never get a break. The past few months have been some of the worst I’ve ever had in my life and I’m not sure how much more I can take. This blemish was just the cherry on the top really I believe if this carries on I will have some sort of breakdown.

[Scass]

Oh that’s quite a lot of stuff going on. I’m so sorry you can’t just enjoy your pregnancy.

I think it’s great that you’re going to speak to your dr. Perhaps arrange a call with your midwife too? One of them will be able to help with your anxiety. Lay it all out, they will have helped others through it before & will know what to do x

[AnxietyGirl30]

Yes it’s really ruined my pregnancy for me because it’s consuming all my thoughts. I have my 2nd scan in a couple of weeks as well and I don’t feel any joy thinking about it.

This morning I didn’t want to wake up I wanted to stay asleep so I wouldn’t have to feel anything instead I woke up paralysed, heart beating, feeling sick and terrified. But I have no choice but to get up and face the day no matter what’s going on in my head because of the children.

The mornings are always the worst because I can’t rationalise anything I just feel panic and fear. As the day goes on I tend to calm down because I can tell myself that I’m being silly and it’s all in my head. When I was on sertraline it took away all those horrible physical symptoms of anxiety but now I’m not it’s hitting me hard.

I don’t know if I’m better off going back on then for the sake of my mental health. It says it’s safe during pregnancy but there are very small chances of it affecting baby which is why I came off them because I fear I could damage baby by taking them. But then I’m thinking well I’m damaging baby anyway by having all this stress and anxiety which is causing me not to eat or sleep properly. So I’m in two minds. I hope my doctor can advise me what to do because I just can’t cope or go on like this.

[AnxietyGirl30]

I spoke to my doctor today she said she was not worried about my nose at all which I knew already. I’m going back on my medication because I don’t want this anxiety to start up again and it’s done wonders for me in the past. I want my future to be more positive even if I am going to be alone doing it all :)

[ServerError]

Do you have any family and friends who can help you out? I know it's not the same as having a partner in your life 24/7 to help, but it is substantially better than nothing, and it means you won't be as alone as you think you will. And who knows what the future will bring? I'm sure it's not a priority right now, but there's every chance somebody will come into your life at some point who takes away those feelings of being alone. You have plenty to be optimistic about, but perhaps you'll need your meds to kick in again before you can see it for yourself, which is fair enough.

[Scass]

I spoke to my doctor today she said she was not worried about my nose at all which I knew already. I’m going back on my medication because I don’t want this anxiety to start up again and it’s done wonders for me in the past. I want my future to be more positive even if I am going to be alone doing it all :)

Great idea, I’m glad your dr helped.

[AnxietyGirl30]

I literally have no one. And now I’ve got a new problem to worry about and tomorrow I’m having my baby scan and will find out the gender and my anxiety has ruined it for me. Feeling quite hopeless at the moment.

[ServerError]

That's very sad to hear. Feelings of hopelessness in themselves need to be addressed and treated. Despite how you're feeling right now, hopelessness is a feeling that can and often does improve, as I know from personal experience. It sounds to me like you might benefit from going back to your doctor to discuss what sound like depressive symptoms as these shouldn't be ignored. Sometimes when we're super anxious, it's the anxiety we want to be free from, but often there's underlying depression and hopelessness that needs just as much attention and work.

Obviously I don't know your life situation, but I would ask whether it's really true that you have no one, or whether it's your mental state convincing you that you have no one. I've definitely felt in the past like there's nobody I can talk to, but I never allow myself to feel that way anymore because I know there's always somebody who will listen.