please help me

[eshan]

hi everyone, ive just been diagnosed as having OCD and its taken over my life to an extent where i cant do anything and i just want 2 give up on life.

its quite hard 2 explainhow it works but ive had it 4 a couple of years now, but not as severe as it is now. to give a brief history it kinda of originated frm the fact that i used to let things get 2 me, so if i had a problem that problem would keep coming up in my mind all the time no matter what i would do. after that it developed into things coming into my mind, but instead of it being related to a problem it was about nothing, it was just a blank thought, but it was a disturbance that kept coming into my mind. so for example if i was talking to someone, this blank thought would keep coming up in my mind, and it was just a disturbnace to my natural thinking pattern. nyway it used 2 come and go whilst i was at uni and it was managable but now its gone quite severe.

ive started to apply it now to loads of scenarios, so for example when im changing gears ive said 2 myself everytime i change gear that blank thought is gonna come in my head. so ny normal person driving changes gears automatically without thinking about it, but everytime i change gear, all my normal thought stop and all i think about it is evrytime i change the gear.

now its gone so bad that mind is just concentrating on everything going on around me, for cars driving past, people talking, for example evrytime time someone walks past me, thats all i think about, or every car that drives past me, thats all my mind turns to, or if im in my house, if someone is making a noise thats all im thiinking about. even if im watching television, every time the screenshot changes thats all my mind is thinking about, ive even apllied it to the situation that every time i blink, i thnink about every time i blink. Its killing me off, and i cant stand life. the doctor is looking for a therapist 4 me, but i just want 2 knw if ny of u guys have had or know of similar probs im having and if theres a way of overcoming it, cos i cant see no way out.

thanks for ur time

esh

[~S~]

Hi Eshan

Welcome to the site, sorry to hear about your problems, I cant relate to the OCD as I have Anxiety mostly, but im sure there are loads of people here who can relate to how you are feeling.

You will find loads of great info on this site and everyone is really friendly and supportive.

There are people in the chat room from about 8ish if you wanted to chat.

You may not be able to see a way out at the moment, but things will get better, you are not alone in this.

Luv ~Sarah~ xxx

[Meg]

Hi Eshan,

Welcome

We do have members with OCD who may be able to post and afer some support and real understanding.

Have you tried a pure OCD website such as http://www.ocduk.org/contact.htm who have a lot of experience.

I do hope your GP can find you a therapist.


Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[bluebottle]

I've only just realised that I may have mild OCD. That link Meg was very helpful and reading some of the posts about intrusive thoughts almost convinces me. This realization doesn't really upset me, actually it slightly reassures me. What does annoy me is that along time ago I saw a CPN and when I told them about these thoughts they laughed.

Life is never boring is it. [:o)]

Regards,

Blue
--
Take little steps and remember it is OK if your recovery is not a smooth one.

[Meg]

One thing about OCD that is very much a gray area .

OCD is as most people know Obsessive Compulsive disorder. The jury is still out as to the diagnostic tools.

Most all anxious people and panickers have obsessive thoughts patterns at some stage which may lead them to panic . To some therapists / doctors especially in the USA this may be 'labelled' OCD. The purists will say that to be OCD there is usually a compulsion to neutralize the obsession.
.. so a panicker may obsessively think about missed heart beats or death of a loved one and a pure OCD er will then fabricate a neutralizing action ie check the corners of a family picture 6 times and these grow and get out of control.

This is open to all sorts of interpretation depending of schools of thought.

I had many recurrent obsessive thoughts within my anxiety and panic years but it ( fortunately) never occurred to me that I could be OCD - yet years after the event I was retelling my personal story at a professionals meeting and 2 of the participants immediately said I had had OCD. I disagree entirely.




Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[bluebottle]

I agree Meg,

I think upsetting thoughts about loved ones though probably does come under the OCD banner.
I'm not at the stage where this is a huge problem and I doubt I ever will be as the thoughts tend to occur the most during periods of anxiety. It was just a bit of a revelation to read that I wasn't unique. If I have OCD or not it will never stop me from always trying to lead a full and happy life. This will probably be my last post on the subject anyway.

Regards,

Blue
--
Take little steps and remember it is OK if your recovery is not a smooth one.