View Full Version : Just having a really rotten day
I was out of the office pretty much all of last week, and will be the next couple of days as I managed to catch a virus that's been passed around the family. I caught it from my parents and am doing a bit better myself, which is good, but they are both under the weather still. My dad is particularly affected as he's got a nasty cough and a lot of congestion. He was going to go back to his doctor today as he has had colds turn into bronchitis or pneumonia in the past (as have I) but they were really wishy-washy in making an appointment so he went to urgent care instead. They gave him some antibiotics but the doctor at urgent care noticed his heart was racing so they did an EKG and noted some AFIB. They gave him blood thinners and sent a note to his doctor, but that's all I really know right now and it's put me in a state.
Hopefully his doctor can get back to him but I don't know enough about AFIB to really say what to expect next. I know sometimes when I've had a virus my heart rate gets way up especially if I'm walking around, but not like that. I don't know if his virus could be enough to be causing trouble or if there is really something wrong.
I also had to make yet another veterinary appointment for my dog - it's just his annual wellness exam and heartworm treatment, but he also has a lump that I suspect is getting bigger they will need to look at. It's not for two weeks, and waiting is going to be hard.
I'm just at the end of my tether today - not a lot of patience and no motivation to do much else. I just want to lie down. I need to do some Christmas shopping and plan a trip for later in the month to see a friend but it all seems absolutely impossible now.
Anyway, I just had to vent a bit. I feel like I'm unraveling.
You've got s lot going on poppy and both your dad and your dog are being monitored. You need to take some time for yourself poppy so a little Christmas shopping might be a good distraction for you. And while you are about it, treat yourself to a little something.
I agree with Carnation Poppy, get plenty of rest and do something nice for yourself, watch a movie, Christmas shop, read a good book, anything that will not take any physical energy and occupy your time until you feel a bit better.
Thank you both. I walked up to my office yesterday evening as I needed to drop off my laptop and I figured walking would be good for my lungs. I called my mom on the way home as it was dark and we chatted - my dad's heart rate was still high but it was lower and his blood pressure was pretty good. Hopefully the doctor will give him a call today, I'm just hoping it's related to the virus and will settle when he gets better. Apparently the doctor he saw at urgent care has been around for awhile and called his regular doctor and gave him quite a lecture for not fitting him in, but for also prescribing the antibiotic he did because it wasn't what he should have been taking.
I'm going to do some resting and cleaning today, and maybe FaceTime with my nephew who is home. May also get some shopping done. Really anything to keep my anxiety at bay I guess.
Bless you Poppy, I agree with Carnation and Catkins. You have a convergence of worries regarding family and your dog, who is of course, family too. This on top of not feeling well yourself, that alone is often enough to bring us down.
You show a lot of determination and courage however, in spite of all the above. Give yourself a lot of credit for that, you deserve it!!
Thank you, fishman, that is very kind of you to say.
My dad has an appointment with the cardiologist today so we'll see how that goes. He has been monitoring his heart rate and his blood pressure and both seem to have gone back down to normal, so hopefully that's a positive sign.
My mom told me that my dad's dog has been acting kind of strange, she said that if she still was on Monday they'd see the vet. I'm trying not to take that stress on myself as either viewing it as some sort of bad sign or just fretting about her health, because my toxic trait is that if it were my dog we'd have been by now. But it's probably okay for them to wait and of course they have a lot on their plates too.
Poppy, could your dad's dog acting strange because of what's been going on with your dad? It's a possibility.
Carnation, it is possible. She's previously been pretty attached to him as he's been unwell though. That's the part I'm trying not to dwell on, that maybe she could sense something off and that is why she's acting strange. It is, however, very out of character for her. My mom said she's just been hanging out upstairs by herself, when usually she acts like she wants to crawl into your skin. They call her down and she might come for a moment but doesn't stay long. She has had some health issues of her own - when they first got her she had heartworms and had to take a high dose of Prednisone which had some long lasting effects. I guess we'll just see how his appointment goes and then if she needs to see the vet.
I hope your Dad feels better soon Poppy. It’s hard not to worry about your loved ones, but as c says, they are all being taken care of. You can relax, you need to.
Thanks, Scass.
He had his cardiologist appointment yesterday and everything seemed normal. They said it could be just a blip, or could have been a result of the virus. He will go in again on Monday for an ECG and a stress test, so we'll see how things go then. They gave him some medication that is like $400/month, and I think if all is normal he won't need to continue taking it, so I think he's definitely hoping he can stop.
That’s good to hear Poppy. Hope he has a better weekend
That sounds very reassuring, Poppy. He's being thoroughly checked out so you know that he's in expert hands.
I got a call from my mom this morning that they had taken my dad to the ER very early this morning for palpitations and possible AFIB. He had a high heart rate and high blood pressure. I came in with her this morning to the hospital - we are waiting for the cardiologist to come in and talk to us. I wanted to come in too for support and to be honest, to hear the info straight from the doctor for my own anxiety purposes. His vitals seem normal now, but he’s on meds.
It’s just been scary - I knew the minute I saw her number that something had happened and was having flashbacks to a few weeks ago when she called me screaming and crying after their dog was hit. I was panicking and catastrophizing. It’s just been a rough morning. My mom is on the verge of tears a lot and that’s hard.
It must be very scary, Poppy but I hope that the cardiologist can give you specific information so that you have some definite news about his condition. You did the right thing by going to the hospital and I'm sure your mum appreciates your support and just you being there..Please let us know how things are when you are able to?:hugs:
Oh poppy, you've certainly had your fill of woe lately. :hugs:
It sounds like your dad is not in a serious way and maybe just a scare. The Dr can now make an assessment and provide the necessary drugs if needed.
Like pulisa, let us know how things are and of course we are here if you need to offload. x
Oh Poppy, sending positive thoughts your way.
Thanks, all. We met the cardiologist today and he said that afib is really common, and often they don’t know why it happens, it just does. They said since he was having other symptoms it was good he came in, but it may happen again and he may be just fine to stay home and call his cardiologist to let them know. They are keeping him there until Friday - they are starting him on a new medication that prevents afib but I guess he has to be monitored the first few days on it. I’m not sure why.
I feel a little better because the doctor wasn’t concerned at all, but I think I’ll obviously feel even better on Friday when he’s cleared to leave. I’m working remotely the rest of the week in case I need to be somewhere. It’s just kind of scary because I felt like he was cleared and good to go after testing last fall but it’s probably a lifelong thing.
I think what panicked me the most was seeing my mom so scared, and knowing she was scared. And remembering that tearful call regarding her dog - I can just vividly picture her calling me in tears with bad news about my dad, since that call is still fresh in my mind, if that makes any sense.
Fingers crossed it all goes well, though, I think it will be an anxious few days but I’ll manage.
It's very reassuring that the cardiologist wasn't concerned. At least your dad has been thoroughly checked out and this may well be something which happens to him but is not significant or harmful in any way.
I know that I can't show any fear to my daughter. If I do her anxiety will spiral out of control. I do understand what you are talking about. Your mum has had a series of shocks recently so will be vulnerable to panic. You mustn't let your imagination get the better of you on this occasion because you are catastrophising and the reality is now and very different to what you are fearing.
Poppy :hugs: Bless you. First off, your Dad is really lucky to have such a loving and caring daughter!! If its worth anything, my brother (13 years older than me), had heart symptoms around 2 years ago and I'm pretty sure it was AF. They put him on medication and he's been fine since. My Dad who's 93 has had angina for over 20 years. Of course every case is different but treatment is much better than it used to be.
Its entirely natural your anxiety would react when we fear for our loved ones. Do take care xx
Thanks, both of you. Fishman, that's reassuring - the doctor seemed to think this medicine would do the trick. I'm not sure why they have to monitor him when he starts it (that's a bit worrying for me) but it did help that they kind of acted like it wasn't a huge deal. I'm sure he'll go stir crazy in there so he'll be certainly ready to get out on Friday.
Pulisa, I've found that it's often the opposite with me and my mom. I tend to try and be stoic because I don't want to worry her any further than needed. I remember several years ago when I was struggling with depression, she came to a doctor's appointment with me and it was just really upsetting for her to see me struggling like that. I kind of stopped talking about my own issues at that point, hard though that may be, because it's hard on her. And really, when she starts to get worked up it's a lot easier for me to get worked up, so it's just better if I can try to stop that cycle.
I did help her do some chores and errands, and I'll see if she needs any help tomorrow or Friday as well.
So I take it that your mom suffers from anxiety issues too? That's really hard on you if this is the case? I can see why you don't want to upset her if that triggers your own anxiety.
Maybe the doctors want to keep him in to monitor the new meds to take the pressure off your mom a bit? And to make sure the dosage is suitable for him? I suppose it must be tricky fine tuning the meds to begin with? I don't think it's significant in a "need to worry" way.. but I appreciate that you just want him stable and at home.
I agree with pulisa. They will want to monitor your dad for a while, just as a precaution and to get the dosage of meds, if needed correct for your dad. x
MyNameIsTerry
02-02-23, 14:10
Sorry to hear your dad's unwell again, Poppy. I do agree with everyone else, anyone would be very worried in this situation and with anxiety disorders you may be primed to react more to triggers.
I also agree about being strong for others if you can do it. They will be very grateful to have your strength when they are losing theirs. Isn't that what families are for?
When it comes to heart issues doctors tend to want to be careful. So what's to say they aren't just monitoring to ensure they've got the result they expect from a new med? If he hadn't gone to hospital, but a GP instead, they would still be making follow ups to ensure it was controlled as expected. If not, they adjust meds. Perhaps try to view it that way?
I don't know how old your dad is but I know from watching my parents get old they start to experience more age related health issues and doctors start adding more meds. If you don't get a scare you tend to accept it as just getting older. But when it's triggered by a scary experience it naturally highlights how they aren't as strong and immortal as we thought when we were younger. Reality gives us all a kick and your mum is feeling that watching him being ill. She's got all those what ifs going through her head right now. But who's to say it's not one of life's kick up the bottoms we get, your dad makes changes and you have many years to come?
Right now your mum might be struggling to keep that in mind and needs your reassurance to guide her. You are totally entitled to feel the same but if you can be strong it's worth it for your mum. Talk to others for support if you have them. You've got us. But at the same time you're not expected to be strong either so if you can't you aren't going to be judged either. We know you will do your best.
:hugs:
Thanks, all. :flowers:
Pulisa, she may well suffer from anxiety herself - I'm sure it runs in the family - but she's never been formally diagnosed or had any kind of therapy or anything. I don't think it helps that it's been such a rough month for us all, and she blames herself a lot for what happened with the dogs. She let me know she's been having nightmares about it. So I think she's in a rough spot and this is just kind of extra on top of that.
Terry, my dad just turned 71. So, elderly, but to me that hardly seems old at all. His father passed away in his 90s, and his mother is still alive and she's like 100 now. So I think I expected awhile before health issues popped up. But you could be right too - it may just be something that needs controlling and that's it. The doctor seemed to think so.
I just need to work on keeping my own anxiety under control. I have therapy next week, so will definitely get a chance to talk to someone in person then. And I've been able to talk a lot with my best friend, so that helps.
MyNameIsTerry
02-02-23, 16:15
At that age it's going to hit home to your mum, Poppy. When my mum had one of her pneumonia spells a couple of years and had to go into hospital my dad was in tears. And my dad is an old fashioned sort about showing emotion.
If you add 71 onto heart issue you are going to get a very careful doctor. Certain groups get more careful consideration e.g. kids, elderly, pregnant, various pre existing health conditions, etc. It doesn't mean he is fragile but he's in a group where they more likely are and so doctors take their time to be on the safe side. It's a good thing really.
Like you say there is a fair age pedigree in your family.
I think you are right about your mum. She's had a hard time recently and she's likely worn down by it all. Once your dad gets home she will feel much more comfortable. Although your dad better get ready to be fussed over :biggrin:
You've all had a pretty rough time of it recently with horrible shocks. It will take its toll on you and make you very jumpy. It's good that you will have the opportunity to speak to your therapist and let it all out...It will take time for things to settle down mentally after being on high alert quite reasonably.
Best wishes to your dad and I'm sure he's being a model patient!
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.