This time, I will allow anxiety in

[Jaco45er]

I have this situation at the moment, it involves business, money, broken agreement, a family element involved and the end result is that muggings here, after toting it all up is nearly 8 grand down (I don't have the crunchie Friday feeling today).

The situation is now resolved, (hence the 8 grand), bridges burnt, and certain individuals will think long and hard before they cross me again but it has woken me up to how my anxiety works.

This situation came out of the blue, there was no dwelling, it just happened. I reacted in a professional manner (kicked a few doors, swore alot, and generally lost the head) and now I feel a little bleh with anxiety, nothing major, but I am kinda not too fussed as there is a reason.

But, what I have been doing though, is getting paranoid. Even people around me say I work myself into a frenzy like a shark at feeding time over stuff that might not happen or things that might not be said.

What I mean is, I have been playing scenarios in my mind, and giving myself anxiety without anyone else doing anything to me. If he does this, I shall do that, then if he says this, then I shall say that, and if he even DARES do this, I will and it goes on and on until I am livid. The thing is, apart from this situation (ironically, one I didn't dwell on) all the other times I have worked myself up, mostly it has been my own paranoia and these scenarios never happen.

Does anyone else actually cause themselves anxiety without any proof or help from anyone else?

Man I kinda like typing it up, helps me calm down a little (typing therapy, or in my case typo therapy).

Jaco

[jodie]

hi jaco

sorry you have been having a hard time of it :hugs:

you are so right on many things i do the same thing myself ...thinking the way you have been thinking, what if,s most days i think omg what if this happens what will i do ect and most of the time it never happens and all my stress,s have been for nothing .
when i take a look somtimes at why i am feeling down or anx it is that i have made myself feel that way if only i gave things some thought first i am sure it would never be that bad
and as for the cash well it is a lot but hey you can ake it back and not worth getting ill over i say .
hope things get better for you

jodie x

[purplehaze]

Hail Hail

There is nothing wrong with thinking what you would say to an individual if they said x or done y..In one sense its forward thinking but on the other hand if it is taking over your thoughts and causing you anxiety and stress, you may need to take a step back.

Panic and anxiety does cause us to magnify a situation and before we know it we already have them by the throat and are ranting at them and thats even before we have spoken to them.. In most cases people are normally not going to react the way that we think.

[Alabasterlyn]

((((((((((((Jaco))))))))) so sorry to hear about what has been going on. Yikes 8 grand is a lot of money, no wonder you are stressed :ohmy:

I am always imagining scenarios in my head too and they are very rarely nice ones. I seem to do this on a daily basis and it's really hard to stop myself doing it. For some reason anxiety seems to make us look on the negative rather than the positive side of things. Hope things are better for you soon :hugs:

[PUGLETMUM]

:winks: hiya jaco, YES YES YES !!!!! these thoughts are the ones that cause ALL the unnecessary anxiety - there are genuine situations that cause anxiety(birth, death,promotion, demotionetc etc you get the drift?)- however these are called THINKING ERRORS.

i mentioned them a while back - if you ever get cbt you will probably be introduced to them:blush: and when you see them written down, its like a smack in the gob:wacko: because they explain almost all of WHY we suffer unnecessary anxiety heres the list of the ones i remember, they are all selfexplanatory really,i think you will recognise them???

1) discounting the positive
2) personalisation/blame
3) lowfrustration tolerance
4) generalisation
5) catastrophising
6) black and white thinking

okay well there are more:wacko: but these are the ones i remember, i hope this sheds some lighton why you make yourself feel anxious? any situation where your thinking creates anxiety is a sign that you are involved in one of these thinking errors, and is an opportunity to take another look at the situation and see it from a morebalanced point of veiw. you can do this by asking yourself where the evidence is for what you are thinking? arethese thoughts/way of thinking helping you at this time? and is there a more balanced way of looking at the situation? then after youve done this - (preferably writing it down in columns at first)rate the anx levels at first 1-10and after 1-10, so you can see if the anx goes down once you have identified the thinking error and corrected it, maybe this will help? it does for me:yesyes:

[debera]

hi jaco
i am the same always playing things over in my head. aways the what ifs. its always what if this and what if that. it is so very normal with anxiety.i l always think the worst scenario. i guess its a thing of mind control but very hard to do with us people that suffer with this.
debera