Very worried about my mum :(

[LuSmith]

I have no idea whether this is the right place to post, but since it's to do with my anxiety, I guess it's probably the best option. I know this will really just be me venting since there's probably not much people can say to make anything better but I figured maybe someone can relate, who knows.

My mum (75 years old) had a fall a few weeks ago, just 5 days before she left to go to Australia to visit my brother. She fell and hurt her left hand, and bashed her nose (giving herself a bad nosebleed and swelling) as well as a nasty bump. Luckily it wasn't worse than that at that point. I tried to put my concerns out of my mind and was relieved she arrived there okay after flying for 24 hours. However, this morning I received a call from both my mother and brother letting me know she'd had ANOTHER fall while on holiday in Australia, and this time she'd managed to break both her wrist and her hip. The wrist would have been one thing, but to hear she'd broke her hip and now can't walk has made me devastated for her and also worried about her recovery, as well as how she'll do in another country trying to recover from a surgery. She's going for surgery in the next few hours there and although I'm sure that she is in good hands, I'm still concerned about how she feels, as well as now panicking about everything in the future.

I'm someone with severe anxiety and panic disorder anyway as well as depression, so this has me thinking all kinds of negative thoughts that I can't seem to push away. I don't know how long it will take for her to recover, she's had to push back her flight home completely now so she can get the surgery and then physiotherapy. I'm glad she's staying with my brother but am also really scared about how things will be when she's back here and whether she'll cope. She lives on the third floor in an apartment block and sadly there's no step free access. I've always been concerned about this but now it's really hitting home. I know there may be organizations that can help and carers and such exist, but I'm someone who doesn't even have employment rn due to my physical and mental issues so I'm worried also regarding THAT.

I don't know, I know I'm not thinking rationally at this point about things and getting ahead of myself but I don't know where else to express my worries or anxieties and maybe someone has some experience taking care of an elderly parent or being in a similar situation.

My stomach is a mess rn and I know it's partially due to my lack of sleep and also the anxiety. As well as probably my usual issues, but I'm just getting myself in a stress and I'm worried my health anxiety will worsen again (the last time she fell over I had a health scare as well as worried endlessly about her until she was obviously recovering).

How do I keep myself calm about things so I don't give her more reason to worry or feel sad?

Thanks for reading this anyway.

[Scass]

Your poor Mum, what a shock. I expect she was a bit wobbly from the first fall, and the jet lag probably didn’t help.

I know 2 women both older than your Mum who had hip operations and made excellent recoveries. At least she is with your brother, who can look after her, and she’ll be nice and warm!

Just keep in contact with her, it’ll help you both xx

[LuSmith]

Thank you for the reply!! She'd already been there about two weeks so I'm not sure if it was jet lag but she probably was a bit anxious about everything still I imagine! She's had falls in the past but none have been to this severity (she did have to have stitches once in her forehead which was scary but that was some time ago). The doctors there did say it was likely she has some bone weakness perhaps, which might have contributed and might be playing its role in this.

It's good to hear that you've known 2 women who have managed to recover well from hip operations, hopefully this will be the case for my mum! and yeah, being in Australia can't be too bad despite the circumstances lol.

Again, thank you for the kind words. Looking at things on Google definitely worsened my fear, there's a lot of scary things out there about every single thing!!

[ServerError]

My small piece of advice would be to try not to let your thoughts run away with you. Yes, at some point you may have to look at living arrangements etc, but don't get too worked up about that right now. Take it one stage at a time. She's in Australia with your brother and I'm sure he will look after her as she recovers Down Under. See how things play out and then whatever is needed when she gets back, I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out. Don't overwhelm yourself too much.