Back for a chat

[Juliet]

Hello everyone,
I thought i had better introduce myself again,as it has been so long since I was last on the site.This is largely due to the fact that I have not had a pc at home.But we are back on line again now and its nice to read everyones stories and not feel so alone with my anxiety and panic problems.

I started with panic attacks about 4 years ago,and have since quit my job as a midwife.I started a course last year after starting to feel alot better,but had to quit that as the anxiety/panic crept back.I havent worked since.

I am nowhere near a s bad as I was.Im not so agorophobic now,and I hardly ever have a major panic now,but when I do it just comes out of the blue.Its this that I find so hard to cope with.Each time it does happen im convinced that I will faint...of course I never have!I also have terrible anticipatory anxiety which is horrible.Saying that.Im not letting this thing beat me!!!I am getting married at the end of the year after putting it off for 4 years.Im really excited,but so scared that I will feel faint/unwell/have a major panic attack on the day.It is not a huge wedding,but im still getting freaked out about it.Im going to do it though if it kills me.My fiance is the love of my life.We have been together since we were 15(16 years ago),and Im desperate to be his wife.

Has anyone got any advice about how I can manage my fears and anxiety,so that I can enjoy my big day?

good to be back.Love T xxx

[Meg]

Hi Juliet

Congratulations !!

We've about 4 weddings coming up imminently -there is a post under misc I think .

Welcome back - Did you go back to college in Sept and are you still doing the odd bank shift ?





Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[JPF]

Hi Juliet

Congratulations on the forthcoming wedding - great news :)

As a new(ish) sufferer of panic I'm not sure there's a lot I can tell you (there are much more experienced and wiser heads here than me!) but I can tell you the little things which have made a difference to me..

Firstly, the information and support here really helps.. I was very lucky to find this place so quickly, it's made a tremendous difference to me. Secondly, Bach's Rescue Remedy also helps me in times of crisis (keep the spray version handy). Thirdly I cut-down on caffeine in a major way and fourthly I try to stop myself thinking the thoughts which make me panic.. Some people say to face your fears and go with them and if that works for you that's great.. but for me, distraction is the key.. when I feel the dark thoughts creeping-up on me I try to think about something else.. it doesn't always work but it's largely effective...

I'm sure your wedding will be brilliant and you'll really enjoy it - remember, we worriers always imagine things to be much worse than they really will be.. try to keep that in mind as that should help..

I'm sure everyone here will also lend you all the support and advice that we can..

Congratulations once again :)

Good luck and good health

J

[seh1980]

hi Juliet,

Congrats and welcome back!!

Sarah :D

[Karen]

Hi Juliet

Welcome back to the site.

Congratulations on your forthcoming wedding,



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[Juliet]

Thanks guys.Its nice to have some support and thanks for the tips.

I didnt go back to college last September,but I do occasionally do the odd bank nurse shift.I could start my course again this October,but with getting married in December,I think it wise to leave it till Febuary 2006....Im not in a major rush and it seems pointless to take too much on and stress myself out again.I WILL go back though.

T xx

[FAN]

hi and congratulations on your gettin married i bet as the time gets nearer you will be too busy to worry about having panics and the day will be brilliant...keep us posted

fan x

[nomorepanic]

Wb Juliet

Congratulations on the wedding.

It did worry me when you say that you will wait till you are married to go back to work/college.

Why are you leaving it so long ? Is that cos you think that you will be cured by then?

Can't you try to do something now. I doubt marrige will cure all the probs and I know there is stress involved but it is a long way off.

Nicola

[Rennie1989]

welcome back and congrats with the wedding, loads of peeps here have had or will be getting married

Scooter Girl AKA Jade

[Juliet]

Hi Nicola,

Dont be concerned.Im working as a bank nurse at the moment,all be it only 1-2 shifts a week.The course only has 2 intakes a year,so if I dont go in October I have to leave it till Febuary.We are planning on going away for a month after we get hitched,and I would miss alot of the course,so that is why I have opted to leave it till next year.Its quite intensive and requires full attention.

I dont think marriage will "cure me".I have been living with my fiance for the last 8 years,so really we are already married.But also I dont believe there is a cure,just management.

Lots of love T xx

[lisarose]

Hi Juliet,

I am new to the site, only joined this week so just getting a feel of how to work it. Congratulations on your forthcoming wedding. I am sure you will be fine on the big day and I think you have already come so far that you should be really proud of yourself. I have suffered with anxiety/PND?panic attacks for nearly 5 years since just after my son was born in 2000 and like you have come along way and don't have any major full blown panic attacks anymore but the anxiety is still with me daily only not as bad since being on medication. I started to feel so much better after taking it for 5 months that I tried to stop the other day and had terrrible withdrawals so am now back on it until i can get an appointment with GP next week. On the big day try to keep calm and take some deep breaths or even have a few drinks to calm your nerves if it helps, I too can recommend Rescue Remedy. The best thing to to is just try to enjoy your big day and remember that you will have your husband by your side to help you through. I also think it is only natural to get nervous before such an important event, I bet every bride feels the same but don't let it spoil your day(easier said than done I know)!!

As for work, I know how you feel as I went back to work part-time in the local supermarket 2 years ago when i thought I could handle it and was feeling a lot better. I only stuck it for 4 months as my panic attacks came back with a vengence and as I was serving on the checkout of a very busy supermarket I used to think everyone could tell I was having a panic attack and that they would think I was mad!!

I haven't worked since, but have been looking in the job section of local paper but everytime I think about starting work again I am afraid the same thing will happen and I will be seen as a failure. I am currently studying psychology one day a week a college and this has been a huge step forward for me as I have met lots of nice people, some who have suffered from the same problems and are doing this course to try to learn more about the "science of the mind and behaviour". It has really given me some of my confidence back and stopped me being so afraid of facing new situations. So far I have learnt alot about how our minds work although I find some aspects such as Freud hard to get my head around!!

Good luck and take care

Love Lisaxxx

[Juliet]

Hi Lisa,

You sound like you are doing really well.Going to college is a major step forward and you should be really proud of yourself!!I know what you mean about going back to work,as confidence gets knocked when you have a set back such as you described.I think the best way around it is to start gradually and build up as you feel able to.That is what i am trying to do.Why dont you try and find something that is just 1 day a week to start with,and then move on as you build your confidence?

I have found that exercise really helps me...especially walking.I have been doing an avon round now since just before xmas,and would definatly recommend that as a nice little job with flexible hours etc.

Thanks for the wedding day tips...Im going to need all the help I can get!!Im bearing everyones tips in mind and trying to focus on the excitment factor instead of the nerves.

Take care anyway and good health. T xx

[nomorepanic]

Juliet

I must apologise but my post sounded really harsh and it wasn't meant to sound like that atall.

I wasn't implying that getting married would cure you or anything. I think what I said came out all wrong so please accept my apology for that.

I used to do an Avon round - hard work isn't it? They are never in when you call so you end up going back 2 or 3 more times. I am still an avid Avon buyer but I let someone else do the hard work now. Was a nice little earner though.

We have a few getting married this year from the forum so I am sure you can all support each other. Hope it goes well for you.

Nicola

[Juliet]

Dont fret Nicola,no offence taken. xxx

Im finding the avon round ok actually.Gets me out walking most days,and I have a few nice old ladies that always invite me in for a chat.Dont think I will be making a career out of it,but the pennies will come in handy for wedding things.Off to a wedding fayre tommorow to get some ideas.....my intended has already started rolling his eyes and saying "how much?".....he is only joking at the moment,but Ibet tommorow will REALLY freak him out!

Good to know that there are others in the same boat as me,willing to offer advice etc up to the big day.I have just started seeing a councellor,which despite my misgivings(seen one before without much sucess),is proving really helpful.....I dont take meds anymore,so I will let you all know how it goes.

Speak soon love n good health T xx

[nomorepanic]

Juliet

I am glad you didn't take offence. Sometimes it doesn't come out how you wanted it to does it.

Anyway, I am pleased the Avon round gets you out and about and some exercise too.

Yeah I bet he will be freaked at the wedding fayre tomorrow - things are so expensive aren't they and there is so much to get!

I am pleased that the counselling is working out ok - I am sure it will be a big help.

Let us know in the future what you get out of it ok?

Nicola

[maxine]

Hi Juilet,
Firstly Congratulations on your forthcoming Wedding.
I just wanted to say i know your feeling a bit anxious at the moment,but the fact that you are no longer agoraphobic has filled me with renewed confidence,I suffer from agoraphobia and was feeling a little down and noticed negitive"i'll never get better" thoughts creeping in to my head before i read you post.
So thank you, you've given me more hope.:D

take care
Maxine

[Juliet]

Maxine,
Glad to hear that my post made you feel a bit better.Dont despair.Just have aread at some of the other posts in here from fellow sufferers who have overcome/cope with really difficult problems.You will too Im sure. xxx