halloumihustler
02-12-22, 09:24
I'm no stranger to anxiety, and in particular, hypochondria has been a recurring theme in my life. My last bad flare was around 8 years ago after the sudden death of my father. I was visiting several walk-in clinics PER DAY, convinced that I was dying of cancer and needed all kinds of tests. I have been doing so well since I recovered from that, and I'm so sad and disappointed in myself that I am here again :(
After getting a pretty bad cold that took a couple weeks to recover from, I'm experiencing a very strange symptom of rather strong body buzzing/vibrating/zapping when I move my neck and lower back in a certain way. It is actually very similar to how brain zaps felt when I was getting off anti-depressants 10 years ago, but in a very large area of most of my torso. It is even happening when I am in a mostly zero anxiety state, hanging out with friends and having a few drinks. I also had a few days of a pretty bad headache that won't go away. Of course only MS comes up when I search, in big scary letters. All the press about Selma Blair and Christina Applegate recently doesn't help (I love both of them, though). And I am exactly in the right gender/age/risk group for MS, and had Mono about 10 years ago, which is also a risk factor.. I'm afraid to visit the doctor because I don't want to get a bunch of painful tests for no reason, and of course I'm scared that there will actually be a diagnosis this time. I also don't want to do anything that will trigger/feed the anxiety monster even more. I think I lost my health card and have purposely not gotten a replacement because I don't want to tempt myself. I'm already on a wait list for therapy, as I could feel the anxiety coming on since a couple of months, but this will likely take a few months.
I also know how much anxiety can manifest physically, and I am questioning if what I am feeling is even real or just the anxiety.. I am really worried I am going towards the really bad place again, and I'm not sure what is the right way to go to pull myself out. I've been reading the MS sticky thread but nobody there has these body zaps.. I know that nothing can replace a visit to a doctor or therapist, but some helpful words and advice would be really appreciated here.
After getting a pretty bad cold that took a couple weeks to recover from, I'm experiencing a very strange symptom of rather strong body buzzing/vibrating/zapping when I move my neck and lower back in a certain way. It is actually very similar to how brain zaps felt when I was getting off anti-depressants 10 years ago, but in a very large area of most of my torso. It is even happening when I am in a mostly zero anxiety state, hanging out with friends and having a few drinks. I also had a few days of a pretty bad headache that won't go away. Of course only MS comes up when I search, in big scary letters. All the press about Selma Blair and Christina Applegate recently doesn't help (I love both of them, though). And I am exactly in the right gender/age/risk group for MS, and had Mono about 10 years ago, which is also a risk factor.. I'm afraid to visit the doctor because I don't want to get a bunch of painful tests for no reason, and of course I'm scared that there will actually be a diagnosis this time. I also don't want to do anything that will trigger/feed the anxiety monster even more. I think I lost my health card and have purposely not gotten a replacement because I don't want to tempt myself. I'm already on a wait list for therapy, as I could feel the anxiety coming on since a couple of months, but this will likely take a few months.
I also know how much anxiety can manifest physically, and I am questioning if what I am feeling is even real or just the anxiety.. I am really worried I am going towards the really bad place again, and I'm not sure what is the right way to go to pull myself out. I've been reading the MS sticky thread but nobody there has these body zaps.. I know that nothing can replace a visit to a doctor or therapist, but some helpful words and advice would be really appreciated here.