Punky789
01-01-23, 12:18
I think I am just in need of a big reality check. My mind knows I'm being irrational but I also can't seem to actually comprehend that fact.
My health anxiety centers around me and my kids. It's worse when I think something is going on with one of my kids, which is what is happening now.
In July, so just barely over 5 months ago, I noticed I could feel a lymph node on my toddlers neck. It felt/feels like it is right on the back muscle of her neck, around what google told me would be the posterior cervical region (which google also told me was a horrble no-good place to feel a lymph node). We had had a cold.rip through the house at the end of June that lasted into the first two weeks of July. It was about two weeks after the toddler was better that I noticed the node. Off to the doctor we went.
My doctor is great. They have been my doctor literally since my birth. They get my fears/anxieties and work with me. So, they felt the spot on the neck and basically said, "yeah, no big deal. It's pretty common to be able to feel nodes in that 'chain'"
Since then I try not to think about it. I feel like sometimes I can see the spot where the node protrudes. Especially when my toddler would fall.asleee in the car seat with their head tilted far. But no one else has ever been able to see what I see, so I figure I am just hyper aware.
This leads me to now. We have a cold again. A genuinely horrble cold that might actually be RSV. The whole household has been taken down. Even the dog is acting off lol
But my brain, the traitor that she is, told me "hey, you should feel for that node on Toddler's neck". So I did. And it's still there. I don't think it feels any bigger. It is entirely mobile. It feels like a bean full of jello that slips around under the skin freely. But it makes me feel so panicked.
And then yesterday, the toddler woke up and felt clammy to the touch....but also vomited right after waking. But then I felt on hyper alert about night sweats and being tied to that lymph node.
We bed share so I found myself constantly touching the toddlers back/legs to see if they were clammy. And they weren't...until they were. Felt cool and clammy on back and legs and then around hairline. Back and legs were covered by the blanket. Arms that were not under the blanket were just cold to the touch and dry. The hairline, well my toddler has a riotous mass of thick curls, so I'm not overly surprised there.
We have a polyester sheet on the bed, a thick waterproof pad under where toddler sleeps, and an Ikea duvet that isn't too heavy but heavier for winter. Toddler was just wearing a thin nightdress. I lowered the blanket to see if the clammy feeling persisted and it didn't. Now toddler is laying beside me fast asleep and the areas uncovered by the blanket are dry and cool to the touch.
But still my mind is racing and my inner alarm is going off screaming all these horrble scenarios. We don't have any weight loss, actually toddler was up a pound at last weight check. They do scratch themselves sometimes and every time I'm like, Oh god, this is a symptom of something bad!
I'm trying to tell myself that it's just a bit of sweat. I can remember sweating in my slwee as a child because I would cry for my dad to come and tie my hair up. Also trying to tell myself it's probably part of this cold (which is the reason I've been awake for hours myself). But still. I feel so panicked about all of this. Am I being irrational? I am, aren't I? If you were the parent iny shoes would you be concerned? No one else I've talked to is ever concerned, though the sweating is a new development of just yesterday and today.
My health anxiety centers around me and my kids. It's worse when I think something is going on with one of my kids, which is what is happening now.
In July, so just barely over 5 months ago, I noticed I could feel a lymph node on my toddlers neck. It felt/feels like it is right on the back muscle of her neck, around what google told me would be the posterior cervical region (which google also told me was a horrble no-good place to feel a lymph node). We had had a cold.rip through the house at the end of June that lasted into the first two weeks of July. It was about two weeks after the toddler was better that I noticed the node. Off to the doctor we went.
My doctor is great. They have been my doctor literally since my birth. They get my fears/anxieties and work with me. So, they felt the spot on the neck and basically said, "yeah, no big deal. It's pretty common to be able to feel nodes in that 'chain'"
Since then I try not to think about it. I feel like sometimes I can see the spot where the node protrudes. Especially when my toddler would fall.asleee in the car seat with their head tilted far. But no one else has ever been able to see what I see, so I figure I am just hyper aware.
This leads me to now. We have a cold again. A genuinely horrble cold that might actually be RSV. The whole household has been taken down. Even the dog is acting off lol
But my brain, the traitor that she is, told me "hey, you should feel for that node on Toddler's neck". So I did. And it's still there. I don't think it feels any bigger. It is entirely mobile. It feels like a bean full of jello that slips around under the skin freely. But it makes me feel so panicked.
And then yesterday, the toddler woke up and felt clammy to the touch....but also vomited right after waking. But then I felt on hyper alert about night sweats and being tied to that lymph node.
We bed share so I found myself constantly touching the toddlers back/legs to see if they were clammy. And they weren't...until they were. Felt cool and clammy on back and legs and then around hairline. Back and legs were covered by the blanket. Arms that were not under the blanket were just cold to the touch and dry. The hairline, well my toddler has a riotous mass of thick curls, so I'm not overly surprised there.
We have a polyester sheet on the bed, a thick waterproof pad under where toddler sleeps, and an Ikea duvet that isn't too heavy but heavier for winter. Toddler was just wearing a thin nightdress. I lowered the blanket to see if the clammy feeling persisted and it didn't. Now toddler is laying beside me fast asleep and the areas uncovered by the blanket are dry and cool to the touch.
But still my mind is racing and my inner alarm is going off screaming all these horrble scenarios. We don't have any weight loss, actually toddler was up a pound at last weight check. They do scratch themselves sometimes and every time I'm like, Oh god, this is a symptom of something bad!
I'm trying to tell myself that it's just a bit of sweat. I can remember sweating in my slwee as a child because I would cry for my dad to come and tie my hair up. Also trying to tell myself it's probably part of this cold (which is the reason I've been awake for hours myself). But still. I feel so panicked about all of this. Am I being irrational? I am, aren't I? If you were the parent iny shoes would you be concerned? No one else I've talked to is ever concerned, though the sweating is a new development of just yesterday and today.