izzybizzy
08-01-23, 12:57
I’m tired! Super tired of anxiety and all its symptoms.
After being diagnosed with PTSD this year I began a lot of hard work on myself, therapy, a support group, meditation, eating well. But just as I relax and start to enjoy things…. A symptoms similar to other ones I’ve had but different at the same time
like an electric shock of pain in my head, it feels more like my scalp, they last for a few seconds and then disappear, this time it’s gone on for 2 days even changing spots and briefly changing to the other side of my head for one of the pains. I think deep deep down I know my body creates these pains and I think part of me knows it’s connected to my trauma, I’m pretty convinced but because of my trauma I also worry that they’re real, a bleed in my head or some other vascular issue in my brain is the biggest fear.
I’ve posted here so many times about this stuff and yes I’m still here, I’m just so drained by it all? I have good periods and in those periods I can help others and be totally rational about myself , but the second I relax too much my mind creates a symptom or an issue so I can become hyper vigilant again and try to keep myself “safe” from
harm.
I’m trying super hard, but at times it’s so lonely, my friends tell me how brave and strong I am to have got through the things I’ve been through but inside I still feel like a scared little girl at times.
How do we trust our bodies when it’s the very thing that has brought me so much pain and trauma, I know there is a disconnect between my mind and body, almost like it sends me random pains just to remind me it’s still there.
If you got to the end thanks for reading. Sometimes it’s just good to say it out loud. 💜
After being diagnosed with PTSD this year I began a lot of hard work on myself, therapy, a support group, meditation, eating well. But just as I relax and start to enjoy things…. A symptoms similar to other ones I’ve had but different at the same time
like an electric shock of pain in my head, it feels more like my scalp, they last for a few seconds and then disappear, this time it’s gone on for 2 days even changing spots and briefly changing to the other side of my head for one of the pains. I think deep deep down I know my body creates these pains and I think part of me knows it’s connected to my trauma, I’m pretty convinced but because of my trauma I also worry that they’re real, a bleed in my head or some other vascular issue in my brain is the biggest fear.
I’ve posted here so many times about this stuff and yes I’m still here, I’m just so drained by it all? I have good periods and in those periods I can help others and be totally rational about myself , but the second I relax too much my mind creates a symptom or an issue so I can become hyper vigilant again and try to keep myself “safe” from
harm.
I’m trying super hard, but at times it’s so lonely, my friends tell me how brave and strong I am to have got through the things I’ve been through but inside I still feel like a scared little girl at times.
How do we trust our bodies when it’s the very thing that has brought me so much pain and trauma, I know there is a disconnect between my mind and body, almost like it sends me random pains just to remind me it’s still there.
If you got to the end thanks for reading. Sometimes it’s just good to say it out loud. 💜