Pkstracy
10-02-23, 21:03
Hey all I need a hug, my mom who was diagnosed with a brain tumor and dementia at 56, is at her end stage of life, she has had five strokes, and is no longer mobile, hospice is there and I am told it's any day now, which as I have been told this for the last three years. She will be 68 this year and I feel so lost and helpless, before anyone says maybe I should go home and see her one last time, I made her a promise, while she still had her memories and before she got bad, that I was not to come home to see her no matter how bad she got, she wants me to remember her how she was, the last time I saw her. I am already grieving and part of me is wishing she would just go ahead and pass away and the other part of me is just so angry at her that she didn't go to the hospital much sooner, and got diagnosed, they could have operated on her and got the tumor if she had gone when she started getting the symptoms, I am also angry this happened to her, I am angry at whatever powers that be they allowed this to happen to her while my estranged "father", is doing just fine and is a big jerk and who I jsut found out isn't my father after all, my mom got pregnant with me by another man, one that she loved dearly and he loved her, but his parents wouldn't let them get married and they sent him off to live with family members of his in another state and my mom was forced to marry her sister's best friend's brother , who had a thing for my mom...so yeah not only am I dealing with my mom about to die, I am also dealing with finding out, I have a different father, possibly siblings, another family that I didn't know about until a month ago...