Swanee
23-02-23, 09:02
Hello everyone, (LONG POST ALERT!)
Firstly, as a long term HA sufferer, my heart goes out to all of you who are constantly worrying about your health. You are not alone!
I'm 64, and over the years I've been convinced I've had cancer of the breast, throat, skin, mouth, eyes, bowel - but now I'm worrying myself sick that I might have ovarian cancer.
A few weeks ago I felt a burning, nipping pain along my bikini line. I am overweight, not obese, but I have developed a slight belly fat overhang, and when I pulled my skin up I saw that I had developed a red, angry, sweaty intrerigo line between the skin folds. I treated it with the recommended cream (Dr Google) and it improved. Now the pinkish red line is still there, and although it doesn't look angry or sweaty any more it still feels slightly nippy and sore, and I'm very aware of the feeling.
Of course my health anxiety 'goblin' started to whisper in my ear "ah, but what if it's actually pain from your ovaries and you've actually got cancer?"
immediately followed by the only too familiar feeling of a silent panic attack - a warm, lurching feeling in my stomach which spreads all over my body, down my legs, which now feel like lead, along my arms and into my face, all of which are now prickling ferociously with pins and needles. My mouth goes dry, my ears start ringing, my heart rate goes up and I feel numb. Before I know it I'm googling the symptoms...
I'm a long term IBS sufferer of many years, but suddenly I'm translating my usual IBS symptoms into those of cancer, despite having experienced them on and off for over 40 years. Bloating - yes, I get that when I've got a bad bout of IBS, I know what it feels like to have a painful, distended stomach that's as hard as a beach ball whilst I'm having a bout. It always goes down again when it passes. Is my stomach like that now? No, just podgy and squidgy.
I lie down flat on the bed and have a gentle feel around my ovaries. Can I feel anything? No. Heartburn. Do I have it? Well, yes, I do sometimes get it, and had a particularly bad bout over a few days a few weeks ago. Do I have it at the moment? Not really, unless I really think about it, when I can convince myself perhaps I might....or not.
Am I needing to wee a lot? Hmm... maybe I am....or maybe not. How often is too often? I have clear urine, no discomfort when passing.
Not constipated.
Not any more tired than usual - (I'm at the age where I often have a fifteen minute afternoon shut eye.)
No spotting or bleeding. (I'm post menopausal)
Am I eating less and becoming fuller sooner? Yes, I am. But I have also been listening to a nightly 'Slimpod' for several weeks, which works subliminally to reduce your appetite and train your mind to recognise when you've had enough to eat. My head says this is the reason, but my goblin keeps on whispering away...
I spent hours googling through the night for some reassurance, (yes, I know I shouldn't) but as always, (and as expected - why do I keep doing it?!) it only feeds my goblin, who by now is sitting there on my left shoulder, grinning grotesquely and whispering "but they don't call it the silent killer for nothing..."
I'm emotionally battered, drained and exhausted. Damn you, goblin.
Firstly, as a long term HA sufferer, my heart goes out to all of you who are constantly worrying about your health. You are not alone!
I'm 64, and over the years I've been convinced I've had cancer of the breast, throat, skin, mouth, eyes, bowel - but now I'm worrying myself sick that I might have ovarian cancer.
A few weeks ago I felt a burning, nipping pain along my bikini line. I am overweight, not obese, but I have developed a slight belly fat overhang, and when I pulled my skin up I saw that I had developed a red, angry, sweaty intrerigo line between the skin folds. I treated it with the recommended cream (Dr Google) and it improved. Now the pinkish red line is still there, and although it doesn't look angry or sweaty any more it still feels slightly nippy and sore, and I'm very aware of the feeling.
Of course my health anxiety 'goblin' started to whisper in my ear "ah, but what if it's actually pain from your ovaries and you've actually got cancer?"
immediately followed by the only too familiar feeling of a silent panic attack - a warm, lurching feeling in my stomach which spreads all over my body, down my legs, which now feel like lead, along my arms and into my face, all of which are now prickling ferociously with pins and needles. My mouth goes dry, my ears start ringing, my heart rate goes up and I feel numb. Before I know it I'm googling the symptoms...
I'm a long term IBS sufferer of many years, but suddenly I'm translating my usual IBS symptoms into those of cancer, despite having experienced them on and off for over 40 years. Bloating - yes, I get that when I've got a bad bout of IBS, I know what it feels like to have a painful, distended stomach that's as hard as a beach ball whilst I'm having a bout. It always goes down again when it passes. Is my stomach like that now? No, just podgy and squidgy.
I lie down flat on the bed and have a gentle feel around my ovaries. Can I feel anything? No. Heartburn. Do I have it? Well, yes, I do sometimes get it, and had a particularly bad bout over a few days a few weeks ago. Do I have it at the moment? Not really, unless I really think about it, when I can convince myself perhaps I might....or not.
Am I needing to wee a lot? Hmm... maybe I am....or maybe not. How often is too often? I have clear urine, no discomfort when passing.
Not constipated.
Not any more tired than usual - (I'm at the age where I often have a fifteen minute afternoon shut eye.)
No spotting or bleeding. (I'm post menopausal)
Am I eating less and becoming fuller sooner? Yes, I am. But I have also been listening to a nightly 'Slimpod' for several weeks, which works subliminally to reduce your appetite and train your mind to recognise when you've had enough to eat. My head says this is the reason, but my goblin keeps on whispering away...
I spent hours googling through the night for some reassurance, (yes, I know I shouldn't) but as always, (and as expected - why do I keep doing it?!) it only feeds my goblin, who by now is sitting there on my left shoulder, grinning grotesquely and whispering "but they don't call it the silent killer for nothing..."
I'm emotionally battered, drained and exhausted. Damn you, goblin.