Having a bad morning

[milly]

Hello everyone,
Have been having bad anxiety since Thursday evening and spent the weekend feeling physically awful because of it. Very upset stomach and feel "zoned out." I felt so bad when I got up this morning that I had to take a Calmax tablet and have not had one for over 2 weeks.
I broke down in front of my husband but he just looked at me and then went to work. I feel like I am failing myself. I am in a constant state of fear when it comes to my own body, I desperately miss just feeling ordinary.
Sometimes I am fine but then I think "isn't it great not to feel that anxiety" which puts the thought back into my mind and then I am back onto the merry-go-round again. I find the weekends particularly tough for some reason.
Sorry to ramble, just feeling pretty low.

[mirry]

Hi Milly this is Mirry , lol .

well you certainly are not alone with these horrible feelings :hugs: ,

Dont worry about breaking down in front of your husband , I was doign that and feeling guilty about it , but now after telling my husband how i feel we have agreed that I can breakdown as much as I like and its good for me to let it all out, which i must agree is true. Only yesturday I cried whilst out shopping with him and afterwards I felt alot better for it. Only to cry again last night .

The thoughts are torture arent they , but you have to keep yourself busy ,
I know its not easy , I sit down to do crafts and then think of how crap it all is and then I feel depressed. So I am trying to ignor the silly irational thoughts and to see them for what they are.

On saturday I put on the film Oliver ,lol ,just to keep my mind busy and it really helped me ....

Do anything , but dont sit and dwell cos it makes us feel worse ,
I know its not easy at all , I go up and down with it but what else can we do ?
Mindfulness can be helpful for training the brain to let go of these thoughts.

good luck and remember you certainly are not alone :hugs:

[josinger]

Hi Milly.
I am a new member, and I am so glad I have found this site.
What does ordinary feel like?? I have asked myself that many times.
Try not to worry as you are NOT alone.
Anxiety is horrible and those who are fortunate enough not to suffer from it are very lucky.
I have suffered from anxiety, panic attacks and depression for most of my life.[I'm 37 now] I was a very sensititve child and I felt because of that I was a cpmplete failiure. these problems have followed me into adulthood. I still have my moments and some days I just feel the need to cry. I have to or else I feel I will explode.
Don't be too hard on yourself.
Remember: Someone is thinking of you.
Take care, Jo. x

[jojo2316]

I know just how you feel. I've only had health anxiety for four months (came on after birth of second baby), and I can remember what it feels like to be 'ordinary', but I just can't work out how to get back there. I spend so much time clawing against feelings of fear, dread and panic. I feel strangely under seige, constantly checking my body expecting to find tumours and monitoring every little sensation. So often I think I've found something; a lump in my breast, for example, or a sinister pain in my abdomen and whoosh! The bottom falls out of my world and I feel horrible coctail of panic and despair. I just wish this awful cycle could stop.

When did yours first come on? And do you know why?

xox

[marie1974]

hi milly im so sorry u having a bad time im sending you a huge :hugs: and i hope tomorrow will b a better day, also your hubby should be more understanding of u and support you :mad: . be strong xxxx

[KDM 82]

Hi Milly

I know exactly how you are feeling, my therepist asked me only last week when the last time I felt like me was - and to be honest I really don't know. This anxiety malarky really isnt fair is it - but we need to stay strong and despite how difficult it is, know that there is light at the end of the tunnel (at least I hope there is!!)

One thing that I found has helped me in the past is either watching a good few episodes of friends or will and grace, anything funny that takes my mind of 'me', or I recently bought a Nintendo DS and playing tetris or supermario on that is quite a lot of fun and a good distraction!!

Chin up Milly and I hope tomorrow is better than today!!

KT x

[milly jones]

hi milly its milly

milster hugs to u

didnt know there was 2 of us called mildred lol

i look forward to weekends to my hb being off work and my son off school and im always disappointed. i cant wait for then to go back off to work to leave me in my safe quiet world.

i hate this illness to, but nmp helps

milly the 1st lol xxxxx