worriedme1978
02-03-23, 16:16
Oh crap, I'm at it again. HA has been mostly under control for a while, and then came the flu/covid or whatever that was three weeks ago and had me coughing blood mixed mucus for two weeks.
After that I started spiraling about old stuff, that I thought I was done with. Most recently, and most aggressively, is a blueish spot on the nail fold, right under the nail of one of my index fingers.
I know it's been there for at least six years (since I made a note of it in my journal back then), hasn't changed. Nail looks fine. It's doesn't seem to be pigment, more like a crappy blood vessel because if I poke it from the right direction it sort of goes away.
But still, all I'm thinking is subungual melanoma, melanoma of the nail unit. Because that is what caught my googling eyes the last time I had this scare. I went a dermatologist that time, but she couldn't see much, since I had been poking it so much.
So very tired of this. It's all I've been thinking about for two days, work time, family time, waking in the middle of the night. Poking at the spot, examining, looking at Google image search trying to find something that looks like what I have got. Still haven't found anything. It's so sad to remember obscure medical terms like "subungual melanoma" or "Hutchinson's sign". Wish I could wipe away all old Google memories from my brain and have a clean slate. :weep:
After that I started spiraling about old stuff, that I thought I was done with. Most recently, and most aggressively, is a blueish spot on the nail fold, right under the nail of one of my index fingers.
I know it's been there for at least six years (since I made a note of it in my journal back then), hasn't changed. Nail looks fine. It's doesn't seem to be pigment, more like a crappy blood vessel because if I poke it from the right direction it sort of goes away.
But still, all I'm thinking is subungual melanoma, melanoma of the nail unit. Because that is what caught my googling eyes the last time I had this scare. I went a dermatologist that time, but she couldn't see much, since I had been poking it so much.
So very tired of this. It's all I've been thinking about for two days, work time, family time, waking in the middle of the night. Poking at the spot, examining, looking at Google image search trying to find something that looks like what I have got. Still haven't found anything. It's so sad to remember obscure medical terms like "subungual melanoma" or "Hutchinson's sign". Wish I could wipe away all old Google memories from my brain and have a clean slate. :weep: