feeling bad at hairdressers

[helenclaire]

Hi,
I have just got back from the hairdressers and although i should be feeling good with a new hair style, i feel really down.
I was ok going this morning although a little nervous as i knew i would be there for sometime as i was having colour done, but for nearly the whole 2 hours i was there i felt bad, i kept feeling sick and going hot and cold making my fainting phobia really bad. i managed to grin and bare it but i feel really disappointed now.
I thought i was going to have to leave half way through, i didnt tell anyone how was i feeling cause as i did not want to give in to it.
I have felt bad there before but it usually passes. I did have 2 cups of coffee which i do not usually have so do not know if that contributed to how i felt as i only drink decaf at home.
I dont want the hairdressers to become another no go area, but i am already dreading the next appointment.

Helen:ohmy:

[shoegal]

Hi Helen,

I think the important thing is that you stuck it out! Well done. :yesyes:

I am agoraphobic and I can only do a few things when I go out. I have to say that going to the hairdressers is a no go for me because I'm terrified of feeling trapped in the chair. I think it's fantastic that you managed to stay even though you were anxious, so try to look at it as an achievement and not a failure.

I don't drink coffee myself because it gives me palpatations, and when my boyfriend drinks it, he gets aggitated and anxious afterwards, so the coffee could well have contributed to the way you felt.

Well done. I think you did great! :yesyes:

Love and hugs from shoegal xxx

[sandlin]

The fact that you stayed and got ur new hair do should be something to be proud of. Coffee is terrible for me so i have decaff too


Linda xx

[Piglet]

Oooh bet the coffee didn't help hun!!

You did really well to have your hair done and what you managed today you can manage again (specially if you choose bottled water next time lol)!! So be very proud of yourself - try and think of the bits that were achievements today and not the bits you felt disappointed by.:yesyes:

Well done!!!

Piglet :flowers:

[honeybee3939]

HI Helen

A BIG WELL DONE from me too hun.:yesyes: :yesyes:

You went and you stuck it out and you proved to yourself that no matter how rotten you may feel nothing will happen to you.

Good for you hun, you showed the anxiety its not gonna get the better of you !:yesyes:

WELL DONE !

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[beauty]

Yes this was definatley a big achievement, last time I went to the hairdressers for a full colour I was having a really good day for panic and felt calm but I STILL felt pretty uneasy in the hairdressers, its just so hot with all the hairdryers going in there and you kind of know you cant just sneak out without anyone noticing cos all of the hairdressers attention is on you so it can feel quite claustrophobic (not sure how i spelt that!)

So having said that I think you did amazingly well to see it through.
I know what you mean about even thought u made it through youre still dreading the next time but thats totally normal, just try to leave worrying about it untill it comes, kind of put it off in a way, so the worry wont escalate too much. Then when it does come remind yourself of this time, and that even though you were feeling panicky and it wasnt the best time you still came out and were fine and you didnt faint.

Well done again xxxx

[helenclaire]

Thankyou for your support,
I am trying to tell myself that i did well by staying and getting it done, but i wish i could go and enjoy being pampered instead of wishing it would be done so i could hurry up and get out.
Also i feel i had no choice but to stay once the colour was on and felt really claustrophobic.
All i wanted to do was go home.
Still feeling a bit jittery now and cant help thinking about how bad i felt.

Helen:huh:

[shoegal]

Awww. Have some hugs from me. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Love and hugs from shoegal xxx

[BasilCat]

Hi Helen. I think you did absolutely great to stay at the hairdressers like that. I know that it is far from easy and its wonderful that you stayed at the Hairddressers and got your hair done.

I know what you mean about thinking how bad you felt - I have done it myself before today. But it doesnt pay off. I felt rough at the garden centre with hubby and the kids on Sunday but I have done my best to forget about feeling bad and not give it any importance. Since then I went to Slimming World on Monday (wanted to get up and leave but I didnt either and I was there for about 2 hours) and I was down at the shops on the sea front for about an hour this afternoon. I felt unreal and delicate but I just took it slowly and didnt rush. Again nothing happened and I, infact we, must cling on to the fact that we did it and nothing happened. Try and keep that in your head more than the bits about how rough you felt.

Love and hugs
BasilCat

[nomorepanic]

Helen

I get my hair done at home for 2 reasons..
1) I hate the hairdressers and the waste-of-time-chatting and
2) it saves me a fortune and I can relax at home whilst getting it cut and coloured.

Maybe you could try that next time.

I haven't been to the hairdressers for as long as I can remember now as I prefer the at-home service and saves me money.

[Yvonne]

What you said about not being able to pamper yourself is very significant to me. How I would love to go and spend a day somewhere like the Sanctuary and be pampered with massages and facials etc. My hubby has offered to treat me, so has my sister - they say it would do me good!!!! I have to laugh out loud. This is the sad thing you can't even do the things that could make you feel better.

Regarding the hairdressers - I used to get so uncomfortable - then I got to feeling really bad, then I got to where I could barely stand sitting in that chair and (as Nic says) making small talk about the weather blah blah - when all I wanted to do was run - half a haircut or not!!!

I just couldn't stand it any longer one day I sat there and I was having a colour done - I felt so bad and had every panic symptom you could think of. I was looking at all the other clients in the salon and they were laughing and joking with their stylists and it just hurt so much. I got out of there as quickly as possible and I knew I couldn't do it again.

I had a stroke of luck because my lovely hairdresser at the salon does a lot of private work and I asked him to come to my home. He comes every six weeks now and cuts mine and hubbies and my daughters' (if she's around) so it's very worthwhile for him.

I think you did very well for sitting in the hairdressers and just suffering it out - I know how hard it was, I also know how disappointed you feel that you felt the way you did.

Next time you go - and I think you should try to go - don't have a colour - get the DIY kit - I do - that's because I'm too tight to pay my hairdresser's price for a colour lol! Also, what I did find helpful in the hairdressers was to ask the hair washing person not to bother with all that massage nonsense.

I think that can make you feel so much worse - all this massaging of the scalp nonsense - takes ages and is a complete waste of time - it's justification for them charging a fortune actually. I told the junior not to bother with the massage or the two hair washes that they insist on doing because I was in a bit of a hurry.

The other tip to help at the hairdressers I found helped is to go at a time when they are not so busy - early morning I think would be good.

Can't think of any other tips but please do try to go again.

[miss motown]

well done for sticking it out i have the same fear and have done for some years its awful i no and u just want them to hurry it up so u can get out of there i sit with a magazine not reading it but to hide the fear away from everyone just hoping im not going to make a fool out of myself and run out screaming with foils in my hair lol anyway give yourself a tap on the shoulder well done

[Allye]

Hi

Well done for sticking it out. Hairdressers became another no-go area for me too – hot, cold, dizzy and unable to focus. I did not go for a good while. I then tried a local salon (one woman band, no blazing lights, heats and noise). I also explained that I had had panic attacks and she was lovely. I still get anxious but not as anxious as being surrounded by loads of people. Also the cost has gone down from £68 to £22 and no real difference to the haircut!!

I have CBT and so also remember to write down how I feel each time and give myself an anxiety rating. I find now that the anticipation of going is actually worse now than when I actually get there. Always remember too how nice it is when you come out feeling so much better.

Alternatively Nicola’s suggestion of a home hairdresser is really good.

Allye

[Alabasterlyn]

I think you did very well to stick it out too. I have only been to a salon once in about the last 30yrs and that was just on the offchance so I didn't have any time to get worked up about it.

I prefer to get a mobile hairdresser to come to me as it's easier and it's much cheaper too :)

I also envy all these people who can go to spa's for the day and have their hair done, facials, manicures, pedicures and massages etc. I think all of us with anxiety could do with a bit of pampering and relaxation but for most of us it's out of the question.

[Gryphoenix]

Aw, I'm sorry to hear that!

I get my eyebrows done at the hairdresser's, wax and everything, and boy was I about ready to panic last time. I was imagining how bad it would hurt and I was in a right state, stuck in the waiting room and replaying all kinds of horrible situations in my mind.

Except that when it came time to do it, my anxiety left and I was comfortable. Even with the pain! So my anticipation was worse than the actual event. Figures. :D

Anyway, that was really great of you to stick it out. Guess what happened to you then? NOTHING. Nothing bad happened. Nothing bad will happen even if you feel anxious and terrible sitting in that chair, wanting to run away. When I'm in a chair and I'm in something I can't leave, I literally lock my feet around the legs so that even if I get the complusion to run away, I can't do it. The best thing to do is face your fear and prove to yourself that you CAN do it and you will be perfectly fine.

Here's a quote for you. :D

The fearless are merely fearless. People who act in spite of their fear are truly brave. -- James A. Lafond-Lewis

Oh and PS. I read somewhere that caffine in coffee prevents adrenaline from being metabolized, so that the adrenaline will stay in your system longer. It probably had a lot to do with it as well.

[helenclaire]

Thankyou all for your replies,
it would seem this is quite a common problem amongst us and its good to get advice from others who feel the same way. I really want to be able to go the hairdressers again as i already have too many no go areas that restrict my life and this was one of the few things i felt i could just about cope with.
I shall try and put it down to having a bad day and hope next time is better.
Thankyou all
Helen:flowers:

[BasilCat]

Hi Helen, I think you do right to put what happened at the hairdressers behind you and just consider it was an off day. I have had to do that with what happened on Sunday afternoon at the garden centre and not let it eat me with worry. Since Sunday I have managed to sit at Slimming World a couple of hours (not easy with the unreality) go down town for a couple of hours yesterday (though it meant parking in two different places so I would not be far from the car) and then this morning I have just been to the shopping park. Looked in Au Naturelle, Peacocks and went to the Hairdressing Supplies shop too. Have still felt strange with it but am desperately trying not to let it get the better of me. Also, I am taking a Natures Aid tablet that is meant to be good for anxiety. Its a Passiflora/Lemon Balm and Avena Sativa tablet. 60 in a tub. £4.99 or 4.95. So less expenshive than prescriptions and I dont like taking prescribed medication anyway. So I will see how these tablets go.

Now the kids are home - early finish due to a big school event thats on tonight. Then they are off tomorrow as its an inset day. So I dont know what we will do. At the moment I dont really want to go anywhere with them and feel better when I have only got myself to look after when I am in this state. A mate is coming this afternoon so they will go and play on the game cube in the cabin I think.

Its likely that next time you go to the Hairdressers you will feel different. And I keep tellling myself "So what if today wasnt so good, tomorrow will be better". Or even, "This could all be behind me tomorrow" as when I was like this 30 years ago, and 100 times worse, it VANISHED over night. It took about a year before it did though but it did and it was marvellous!! So you never know. One of these days.......

I know, its all very hard and I have cried buckets during the last year but we WILL get there in the end.

Take care
BasilCat