Anxiety symptoms avalanche

[Swanee]

Hello,
I thought I'd got a handle on health anxiety symptoms over the past umpteen years, but I've fallen down a rabbit hole.
My symptoms made me think I had anaemia again - I've had that before, due to an ongoing issue with bleeding hemorrhoids (TMI, sorry) for which I'm awaiting a procedure. I discussed the way I was feeling with my GP during a telephone consultation (our practice is not seeing patients face to face unless they deem it necessary.) She prescribed me iron tablets and asked me to get a blood test, the results of which, according to the receptionist who gave me them, were normal. I queried why I was feeling this way and asked for another telephone consultation, which has have arranged for the earliest possible date - June 14th. Meanwhile, I'm worrying about why I'm feeling light headed, wobbly, palpitations, breathless, exhausted, weak, panicky and afraid I'm going to faint or that I've got something sinister and seriously wrong with me.
I've had all these symptoms in the past, but not as bad as this for years. My husband had emergency surgery for bowel cancer last June followed by four rounds of chemotherapy, and I dealt with that much better than I would, although I was absolutely terrified inside. I've been under a lot of stress with different things recently, nothing which would normally phase me, but I feel so overcome with these feelings and the worrying thoughts of "what if?" I'm 64 and know all the theories of first and second fear, adrenaline etc - why can't I rationalise this time? I'm terrified that I've got something seriously wrong with me. I hate the feeling of panic attacks which either seem to be happening a lot right now, or they're being cause by something else. 😢 I just want to feel like me again. I've even started obsessing over what I think might be a (very old) loosening tooth crown, thinking that it might be caused by something awful. Please help me! 🙏

[BlueIris]

Please don't beat yourself up over this? You've had an incredibly rough year - heck, my own husband had a positive FIT test last autumn and I honestly thought I was going to die from the terror of it (he's okay, luckily). I will also raise your TMI by saying I didn't have a solid crap for 6 weeks after that.

Getting past it is hard, and I only managed because I raised my antidepressant dosage. It really is a case of just reminding yourself every 5 seconds that anxiety is the probable cause, and that it's safe to acknowledge the scary thoughts and move on.

[Swanee]

Please don't beat yourself up over this? You've had an incredibly rough year - heck, my own husband had a positive FIT test last autumn and I honestly thought I was going to die from the terror of it (he's okay, luckily). I will also raise your TMI by saying I didn't have a solid crap for 6 weeks after that.

Getting past it is hard, and I only managed because I raised my antidepressant dosage. It really is a case of just reminding yourself every 5 seconds that anxiety is the probable cause, and that it's safe to acknowledge the scary thoughts and move on.

Thank you so much for replying Blueiris. I genuinely appreciate it. I'm so glad your husband is okay, and hope you are coping with your HA. Bless you. Xx

[alpacagirl]

I'm feeling the same at the moment. Pretty similar symptoms as well as some gut stuff and insomnia. I'm putting mine down to heading for menopause but I'm sure you are through all that. Mine just comes out of the blue, I don't even have anything going on that's overly stressful. But once I'm in that anxious zone every little twinge makes me worry and it becomes a vicious cycle. Just listening to my Claire Weekes audios again because they make me see sense and calm me down. I'm taking the dog for more walks, doing some guided meditation and cleaned up my diet. At least it feels like I'm doing something pro-active for my health. Sorry probably no help but you are definitely not alone. I just find it frustrating when it comes on out of the blue. I could accept it if I actually had something big going on.

[Swanee]

I'm feeling the same at the moment. Pretty similar symptoms as well as some gut stuff and insomnia. I'm putting mine down to heading for menopause but I'm sure you are through all that. Mine just comes out of the blue, I don't even have anything going on that's overly stressful. But once I'm in that anxious zone every little twinge makes me worry and it becomes a vicious cycle. Just listening to my Claire Weekes audios again because they make me see sense and calm me down. I'm taking the dog for more walks, doing some guided meditation and cleaned up my diet. At least it feels like I'm doing something pro-active for my health. Sorry probably no help but you are definitely not alone. I just find it frustrating when it comes on out of the blue. I could accept it if I actually had something big going on.

Alpacagirl - I'm so sorry you're struggling too. Thank you for sharing your feelings. I have IBS and intermittent sleep issues, so I can empathise with you there too. I try to focus on my breathing - breathe in calm, breathe out stress - which helps, but it's exhausting trying not to focus on horrible feelings, when in fact the act of trying to avoid something is actually giving your attention to it! Catch 22. I also have an under active thyroid so sometimes I'm not sure what my symptoms are caused by, but I do know that my anxiety is worse than it has been for years right now. Claire Weekes and guided meditation are wonderful coping mechanisms, as is getting out in the fresh air, but sometimes that horrible 'anxiety goblin' which sits on my left shoulder accompanies me, and the effort I put in trying to ignore it negates the benefits of these tactics. And yes, every little twinge causes me to spiral too, and I'm spiralling horribly right now. Sending you a big hug. As my GP said many moons ago, when I was being treated for my anxiety in my early 30's - "You're in the big club." We are definitely not alone. Xxx

[alpacagirl]

Thank you Swanee, sending you a hug right back from Australia :hugs:. That goblin can be persistent and I'm not very good at the "let time pass" Claire Weekes advice haha. I often do the breathing exercises as part of meditation. I like the insight timer app. It definitely makes me feel better at the time even if it doesn't always have a longer lasting effect for me yet. My mum has been meditating three times a day for over a year now and she said it's made a huge difference to her. She used to do it once a day for many years but since she's ramped it up her health has really improved. I often just like to listen to positive affirmations on there to fill my mind with some positivity. My anxiety started in my early 30's too after I had my youngest. I have gotten better at calling its bluff over the years. It's just frustating when it lingers around even though you know what it is. All those sensations still disrupt your day. I'm 50 this year and just putting mine down to being triggered by all the hormone fluctuations. I guess that's why it feels like it's "out of the blue" for me. As they say " this too shall pass" :)

[Swanee]

Thank you Swanee, sending you a hug right back from Australia :hugs:. That goblin can be persistent and I'm not very good at the "let time pass" Claire Weekes advice haha. I often do the breathing exercises as part of meditation. I like the insight timer app. It definitely makes me feel better at the time even if it doesn't always have a longer lasting effect for me yet. My mum has been meditating three times a day for over a year now and she said it's made a huge difference to her. She used to do it once a day for many years but since she's ramped it up her health has really improved. I often just like to listen to positive affirmations on there to fill my mind with some positivity. My anxiety started in my early 30's too after I had my youngest. I have gotten better at calling its bluff over the years. It's just frustating when it lingers around even though you know what it is. All those sensations still disrupt your day. I'm 50 this year and just putting mine down to being triggered by all the hormone fluctuations. I guess that's why it feels like it's "out of the blue" for me. As they say " this too shall pass" :)

My darling Mum helped me so much with my anxiety. She had first hand experience of it herself, and we used to go to a meditation group together every week. She passed away in 2016, the year after my darling Dad. They both had dementia, and I cared for them. I miss them beyond words and will love them forever. I still practice everything Mum taught me about coping strategies. Today I have actually had a better day - I listened to Claire Weekes and kept her words in my head as I tackled a full list of jobs I had to do, and I actually felt calmer for the most part. A few palpitation panics but I just kept telling myself it's okay. I really hope you have a better day tomorrow. Hugs from Scotland! Xxx

[alpacagirl]

Sounds like we had the same sort of day :D. I did the same - popped on my Claire Weekes audios for my walk and got through my to-do list. Just listening to her seems to make the difference a lot of the time even without actually applying it. I guess it just reminds part of my brain " hey this is nothing to worry about". I'm so glad you had a better day. I went to a weekly meditation group with my mum too after having my babies. It was a really nice experience. Run by Buddhist monks at our local hospital. I just googled and they actually still run them 15 years later ( just via Zoom now). I remember it was such a lovely energy being in a room full of people meditating. I'm sorry you lost your parents to dementia. It's a cruel disease. My father in law passed away from it at the end of last year. He got Covid and had a very weak cough reflex from the dementia. In a way it was a blessing to see him at peace after 2 years of not recognizing anyone anymore and pretty much being bedbound. My husband took a long time to even cry. He said he'd already grieved losing him 2 years ago. I guess that's what they say with dementia you lose them twice :weep:

[Swanee]

Alpacagirl, I hope you're having better days. I've spiralled again. This time globus. Not a new sensation for me, but I haven't had it for many years and it's back with a vengeance. This time I'm panicking because I occasionally regurgitate after eating or drinking water (sorry for TMI) and so now I've got it in my head that something's really wrong. It doesn't happen every time, just sometimes, and usually when I'm feeling extremely anxious. *Sigh* Anyway, hope your day is going well, big hugs. X

[alpacagirl]

Ugh so sorry to hear Swanee. Health anxiety is not fun. Just when one thing goes something else pops up in its place. But deep down you know it's anxiety especially if it comes and goes. I'm doing better. All the stomach stuff has settled down (surprise surprise just after I finished ovulating). So I've filed it away under hormones and put that to bed. I spent a bit of time reading on perimenopause forums the past few days and seems to be very common to have all sorts of digestive/nausea issues escalate around that time so that was reassuring to read. I've always had a sensitive gut since I was a kid so it makes sense hormones are going to stir things up for a while in that regard. The crazy thing is the symptoms themselves are always pretty minor and I can still function fine but the drama the brain can create ( or goblin haha) is just so irrational. In hindsight you just think " oh good grief I fell for it again!! What a waste of time that was worrying about it". I'm sure your globus settles again as soon as you can relax about it. You've had it before, you know deep down it's anxiety triggered. You go and kick that little goblin and tell him to chill out. Call his bluff and that you are not falling for it this time.