jules321
29-05-23, 06:13
I know it’s odd to turn to strangers on an online forum for comfort, but I don’t know where else to turn right now.
My child was diagnosed with something very scary. We have gotten 2nd, 3rd, 4th… etc opinions and all concur. I don’t need to go into the details. What I need is to find strength to help her through the chronic, long (non life threatening but harrowing) road ahead. I am crumbling. I’m trying to hide it and be strong for her and, frankly, I’m failing miserably. She has seen me crying. This angel has actually comforted me. She has cried, and I have comforted her. I need to pull it together because I’m making myself sick with worry and anxiety.
We have a plan, treatment is in place, there is no cure- just a long road ahead of unknowns which is the problem. How does one cope with such unknowns? I wish this was a regular HA episode where it’s in my head. But it isn’t, and it’s affecting the person most cherished to me in the entire universe. How does one cope?
There are others on here and everywhere who have gone through life threatening illnesses and devastating losses. Truly, how do you find the strength to face the unknown, enjoy the present, and not catastrophize? I understand the tools theoretically and am actually trained in them but haven’t had to use them in this capacity. I have moments of strength where I think the tears are passed and I can cope only to dissolve or have a panic attack moments later. Sleeping is minimal. Our funds are going to so many medical bills so therapy isn’t an option for me currently.
I also chipped my front tooth today (grinding from stress) which is such small beans but dentists are such a fear for me and it all feels too much. I also just don’t have time to deal with my own issues with so many hospital and doctor visits on my docket now.
My spouse is being useless. He is half glass empty on a good day, and it’s just not what I need right now. I need hope, comfort, strength, and reassurance. I never get that from him, but I **need** it now. If another friend says “I’m so sorry” or “wow your problems make mine seem minuscule in comparison,” I might scream.
How does one cope?
My child was diagnosed with something very scary. We have gotten 2nd, 3rd, 4th… etc opinions and all concur. I don’t need to go into the details. What I need is to find strength to help her through the chronic, long (non life threatening but harrowing) road ahead. I am crumbling. I’m trying to hide it and be strong for her and, frankly, I’m failing miserably. She has seen me crying. This angel has actually comforted me. She has cried, and I have comforted her. I need to pull it together because I’m making myself sick with worry and anxiety.
We have a plan, treatment is in place, there is no cure- just a long road ahead of unknowns which is the problem. How does one cope with such unknowns? I wish this was a regular HA episode where it’s in my head. But it isn’t, and it’s affecting the person most cherished to me in the entire universe. How does one cope?
There are others on here and everywhere who have gone through life threatening illnesses and devastating losses. Truly, how do you find the strength to face the unknown, enjoy the present, and not catastrophize? I understand the tools theoretically and am actually trained in them but haven’t had to use them in this capacity. I have moments of strength where I think the tears are passed and I can cope only to dissolve or have a panic attack moments later. Sleeping is minimal. Our funds are going to so many medical bills so therapy isn’t an option for me currently.
I also chipped my front tooth today (grinding from stress) which is such small beans but dentists are such a fear for me and it all feels too much. I also just don’t have time to deal with my own issues with so many hospital and doctor visits on my docket now.
My spouse is being useless. He is half glass empty on a good day, and it’s just not what I need right now. I need hope, comfort, strength, and reassurance. I never get that from him, but I **need** it now. If another friend says “I’m so sorry” or “wow your problems make mine seem minuscule in comparison,” I might scream.
How does one cope?