Spiraling and just hate it.

[ErinKC]

I just can’t kick this anxiety spiral. My anxiety was a bit amplified a few weeks ago but manageable. I had weird symptoms like constant head pressure and a hot, flushed face. Then I got Covid and it really sent me for a loop. I worried about complications like blood clots and heart stuff. Then I got over Covid and my allergies got bad and my breathing was bad and my pressure headaches came back. Then today I did something that aggravated my umbilical hernia (which silently hangs over my head with worry it will get worse).

I’m not coping well. I’m getting so short with my daughter, I’m feeling panicky at work, I’m unfocused, etc. I just hate it. I have a therapy appointment on Tuesday with someone new.

Every time I think I’m past the anxiety it comes back with a vengeance. It’s been so long since I felt like this!!

[Catkins]

Can you accept that it's just anxiety, do relaxation exercises and keep your mind busy? I know it's difficult, but you can get over this bump in the road.

[kyllikki]

Hi Erin,

Oh no, you're one of my 'reasonable and nice' people here, you're not supposed to have setbacks!! :weep:

...In all seriousness, I find that there's nothing like lingering NORMAL illness to set off some new anxiety. For me, it's the frustration of not feeling 100%.
I've been doing marvelously with my anxiety but just had a 2 week viral thing that my toddler brought home and now I am trying to cope with week #3 of intense sinus pain and drainage (the disgusting bright yellow sort, eww.)
I find that the longer it lasts the more random anxiety creeps in. It's easy to swat it away, it's not a major setback or anything, but... it's there, and I have to be careful not to let it snowball.

If it's any consolation, a hot shower or bath always helps for about half an hour or so, and that alone can break up the monotony of the 'blah' feeling.

wishing you the best!!!

[ErinKC]

That’s so nice of you to say, kyllikki! It’s definitely just been kind of a roller coaster lately. The Covid also came right after law school finals. I find when I finish a semester I often have residual adrenaline that then has nowhere to go. So it was like a crazy pile on.

My lungs felt crazy again today so I’m going in to see my doctor in about 20 mins and I’m going to talk to her about maybe considering meds. I am usually fine, but have these flare ups I’d really love to avoid!!!

[Deepseathree]

I’m in a terrible spiral right now that I’m struggling to shake. I hyperfixate on every little thing my body is doing. It’s my anxiety combined with hypochondria and OCD.

I’m only in this state because life was going great and I decided to stop taking my medication because I felt I didn’t need it. Needless to say I’m back on it.

I’m someone who fights the fact that I need medication, but I’m also old enough to realize that it helps me out. I’d talk to a health care provider about possible getting on something and see how it works for you. You don’t have to be on it forever though. But it could help you get past the bumps in the road until the road is smoother.

You’re doing and more than likely the problems aren’t really anything. As anxiety sufferers we tend to be more keen to any little change in our body and then put all our focus into that. Rationally everyone experiences all kinds of little things. It’s just tough for us not to ignore them and rationalize them. Instead of looking for horses, we tend to find the rare zebra. Wishing you the best.

[ErinKC]

Thanks! I let the anxiety get the better of me last night. I went to urgent care hoping to just get a chest x-ray to be sure my chest tightness wasn't something Covid related. The x-ray was clear and ekg was normal but the PA there told me that because I just had covid any chest stuff is concerning and he was referring me to the ER to get a cardiac enzyme test. I knew deep down he was just covering himself because he couldn't send someone with chest issues away with no cause. But, I also knew since he said it that if I didn't go I'd be worrying about it all night.

So, I went to the ER. I thought it would be quick, but I was in the waiting room for 3 hours. The tests all came back fine, of course. But now I woke up with such panic that I'll pick something up from being in that waiting room for so long. I wore a mask the whole time and I just had Covid, so I won't get that, but I was sitting in there so long and it was pretty busy. I'm so so tired of this!!

I did get a Lexapro prescription from my doctor and I was going to wait to take it, but I think I'm just going to do it today and get it over with. I feel good most of the time, but when I have a break from school or any downtime my anxiety creeps in to my un-busy mind. I don't want to feel like I can't ever relax without my anxiety coming back.

Thanks for your kind words and support!

[ServerError]

With the waiting room thing, I think it's important to try and look at it rationally. Obviously, a hospital is somewhere where you can pick up infections, but why does that mean it has to be you? Think about how many people visit a hospital or work in a hospital on any given day, and how many pick something up. I would say you're talking millions of people around the world, the majority of whom pick up nothing. Of those who do, most will get a mild infection. You've also had a good set of very recent tests, so you know it's likely your body can handle a mild infection. The chance of you having picked up something serious are just so, so low.

[ErinKC]

Thanks, Server. I know you're right. I hate getting to this spiral-y point. I took the plunge and took my first 5mg of lexpro today, but now I'm feeling just awful. I don't know if it's that or my anxiety or what, but my head feels like it's floating off my body. I'm not sure I can handle the side effects of starting an SSRI, especially when I'm in such a high anxiety state. I have work on Monday and can't imagine being there feeling like this!

I think I might hold off on this for now. I have a new therapist I'm meeting on Tuesday. I think I might try working with her, improving my diet, and adding more exercise and see if that helps before going down the SSRI route. I have to think hard about it.

[ServerError]

I would say it's extremely unlikely to be the Lexapro causing you to feel that way as it's a low dose and you've only just started taking it. I would be very surprised if it was anything other than anxiety making you feel that way.

If it helps, I'm also new to Lexapro at the moment (although being in the UK, I'm calling it escitalopram). I'm not doing too badly but I felt that the mirtazapine I was taking wasn't doing enough to help me. So you're not alone around here in starting up Lexapro at the moment. I'm doing it too. It's been just over a week for me and I'm fine. It's certainly not causing me any problems.

[ErinKC]

You're probably right and good to know you've just started too! It's funny, I'm taking the generic (as most people in the US do since they are typically cheaper) but we really love a brand name over here, haha.

[Elliejane44]

Hi
Just wanted to say hope you doing ok today . You helped me once years ago and never forget how kind you were . I am on escitalopram which I think is uk version . It’s def helped me but I still not perfect . Currently panic over a 2 mth eye twitch 😯

[ErinKC]

Hi
Just wanted to say hope you doing ok today . You helped me once years ago and never forget how kind you were . I am on escitalopram which I think is uk version . It’s def helped me but I still not perfect . Currently panic over a 2 mth eye twitch 😯

Thank you so much, Ellie! I'm so glad I was able to help you. I'm doing ok, but last night had a horrific flare up of reflux. I'm not sure if it was the medication or just the culmination of so much stress, but I have NEVER had heartburn like this before. I called my doctor and she said to take Pepcid, so I got it right away and it did help last night and I was able to sleep. It's come back this morning. The second Pepcid helped a little bit, but it keeps flaring a bit and making me nauseous/tightening my throat up. It's so unpleasant!! I've decide to hold off on the meds for right now until I've sorted myself a bit. I think going through the possible side effects when I'm at such a high peak of anxiety will be counter productive.

I'm feeling very nervous about having to go to work tomorrow and then starting up my summer classes on Tuesday. I'm hoping a few more doses of Pepcid make things improve!