Hallucination

[Lajmen]

Ok so I suffer a lot from health anxiety, my biggest fear is going into a psychosis/getting schizophrenia. Last night I was at a festival drinking a bit too much so I’m quite hungover today. However I thought I should go outside for a bit taking a bike ride getting some fresh air. But when I got up on my bike I saw a bird walking past the wheel then into a bush. I only saw it for a second and I thought like “huh that’s weird behavior from a bird being so close to me.” Upon further investigation of the bush I realized the bird wasn’t there. Now I’m having a full blown panic attack thinking I’m going mad.

[ServerError]

That's not how psychosis works. If you saw the bird and weren't questioning it, or if you saw the bird and thought it was the government spying on you, you might be psychotic. We make mistakes in what we see all the time. I thought I heard something come through our letterbox earlier, but there was nothing. I'm not psychotic. You're "just" anxious, which I suspect deep down you realise.

[Lajmen]

Thank you for the quick response <3 Yes I do sort of realize it’s most likely my high anxiety levels playing tricks with me, it was just so very very frightening in the moment. It’s hard to think clearly when you get so scared. Going psychotic is easily the thing I fear the most even though I know it’s pretty rare.

[ServerError]

I went through a psychosis/schizophrenia fear a few years ago and came through the other side. Generally speaking, if you're worrying you might be psychotic, you aren't psychotic. People experiencing psychosis lack insight into what's happening. It's usually other people who notice there's something wrong. Knowing that helped me get over it. Also, if you do become psychotic, it's treatable. No point worrying about it.

[Lajmen]

Glad to hear that you have stopped worrying about psychosis/schizophrenia.
While I do get your point about not worrying about it because it’s treatable, I can’t seem to stop my worries mostly because I have read too many posts on Reddit (yes not the smartest decision) from psychotic people where they say they have a hard time keeping their jobs etc. I also worry sometimes that if I go mad and hurt anyone it’s already too late. That is the scariest part about it, hurting people around you…

[ServerError]

What's hurting you here is not the possibility of becoming psychotic or of a psychotic breakdown. What's hurting you is your warped thought process. That's essentially what hurts all of us with anxiety. I can give you lots of rational reasons why you aren't psychotic and why you shouldn't worry, but I also have enough experience with anxiety to know that you can't just switch off your worries or magically change your thinking on the spot. You can improve your thought processes though through therapy and possibly by taking medication. You need to reach out for real-world help with your anxiety because I assure you, that is what the problem is here. I've honestly had the same fear as you and the same thought processes. I also worried about hurting someone. I worried about holding my job down if I lost my mind. So I've been there. I got over that fear through a trial-and-error process of therapy, medication and countering my scary thoughts with rational responses, even if at first I didn't believe them.