How am I supposed to get it?

[youaremysunshine]

I went to the doctors. I never wanted medication. They said 'I know it's getting worse, but I want you to go to therapy first'.

This was a month ago and I still haven't got an appointment, the only way I can get one before Christmas time is if there's a cancelation!

I'm at University. I'm paying for my course... I love my course... but going to classes is the trigger to it all.

If I don't keep up 80% attendance, (I've been to one class in two weeks, and a few weeks before that I've had to run out of class in mid panic) I will be asked to leave. I'm missing out on the first few months of Uni, which is vital enough. I haven't completed one project yet, and theres been a few, as well as two essays and presentations.

I've tried breathing excercises. I've tried distracting myself. I've tried going out more in my spare time to feel just generally happier. I've tried relaxing in my spare time too. I've tried to push myself. I've stayed on a bus for an hour having a panic attack, which lasted longer than that, just to make it to college. Most of the time, I couldn't go. Or if I could make it, I'd run out of class within 5 minutes.

I migth as well just quit Uni. I've tried all of those things and when I go back to the doctors, hoping for medication, just so I can attend Uni and break the viscious circle and get on with my life. But no, they said 'get paper bags and breathe in it'. Yes, but that also requires leaving class, and then I'd probably get another panic attack at the thought of going back in the class, so I stay out and miss even more classes.

I know I'm also becoming quite depressed too, not really bad, but I've been down all year and panic attacks have slowly made it worse.

What circumstances must it take to get the medication?

I can't get therapy, self help isn't working... It's putting my future career at risk!

[chalky]

wow,please slow down.!!!!!!!!!!!!!

first make sure uni staff know exactly what problems you have.
if there is support available there,make sure you get it.

if you approach the self therapy in the right frame of mind-i.e. taking it slow and easy-it might work better.

meds can be good but quite a few take time to kick in.there are very few magic pills that fix things straight away.

search this website and others,read books and find out what you can about your anxiety and what triggers it.

stop blaming yourself-you have health issues- but you can make it!!!!!!!!!!!1

[Yvonne]

You poor little thing. Please do speak to your lecturers and tell them exactly what you are going through. I am sure they will be sympathetic and try to sort something out for you. If you feel you can't actually face the lecturer to tell him/her about the panics then do it by email. My daughter emails her lecturers if for some reason she cant make the lecture.

Gp's don't like to give the meds straight away - they do normally like to go the counselling route first. However, you could be waiting ages for a damned appointment to see a therapist!!!!! Bloody NHS!!!!

I think my only suggestion is going to be that you take something herbal at the moment to help with the panics. Get some Bach Rescue Remedy if you don't already have it and keep it in your pocket. Also get some Kalms or something like that from the chemist.

May I ask if your parents know what you are going through? I do hope so and I hope they are being supportive.

Do not look at this as the end of uni for you - you can definitely be helped. Can't you get some counselling/some kind of therapy at u ni - they normally have people you can go to about this sort of thing. Please do look into it.

Do you have a close friend who is doing the same course as you who attends the same lectures? If so, open up to this person and tell them how it is for you. If you have someone to go to the lecture with and you chat to them on the way it will distract you from your thoughts, also this person could be a kind of support person who you know is there for you during the lecture. If you know you have someone who is there for you it could make it easier to get through the lectures. Think about it.

I think you were good to sit on that bus with a panic for an hour - trouble is I bet your thoughts were persecuting you the whole of the journey - so when you actually went to go to the lecture you were completely distressed with panic. You need someone to travel with. Listen to your Ipod or whatever on the journey - keep your mind distracted.

Please keep us updated.

[youaremysunshine]

I know my triggers. It's just the classroom, and feeling trapped, and feeling rude if I have to leave, and panicking. Mind distractions don't work. Seriously. I've tried it. I've been at it for ages. And I'm a person who can get easily distracted.

I've tried herbal. I had about 20 sprays of Rescue Remedy, gradually up until class. Didn't work a single bit. At all.

The lecturers do know.. but they do have a lot of vital things to say in class.. so they can't really help me. They let me sit in the assessment room if it's empty. Which helps a lot. But I'm still not learning a thing.

There is councelling at Uni, and I'm going to try and book another appointment there tomorrow. But I bet they'll just say what I already know. I know my triggers. I know I have to face it. I know how I'm supposed to breathe and why this helps. I know I won't die or get hurt from it. I bet you any money they will say everything I already know.

I have a friend at Uni. But I don't find it any comfort talking to them about it. They said 'if you feel like that again, just hang onto my arm'. They've gone through similar things. But I've told them, it wouldn't help. It's just the same as sitting there.

I'm going to take my ipod on the bus again, I stopped doing that, when I used to have it I felt better. Sometimes I'll be fine until class time. and sometimes when my dad takes me by car (cuz the buses are so crap) he talks to me alot, as to help distract me. I can barely even say 'yes' to what he's saying most of the time.

I'm going on the bus tomorrow. When I had the panic before the last time I went on a bus, I think I was all panicked out just in time for class. Hopefully that'll happen again and stop by the time I get there.

I just feel like.. if I felt even half of what I feel, I'd be able to get on with my life. And medication would do that. And it'd break the vicious circle, and once off the medication.. I'd have the confidence because I'd be like 'yeah, i did it before i can carry that on now'

[chalky]

feeling rude if you have to leave is making an assumption about other people.you've said that staff are aware of your problems so it's more likely they will be sympathetic and understanding.
can use use a tape recorder/mini recorder in class so that if you do have to leave,you don't miss out?
in checking out counselling services,you are taking really positive action.well done!!!!
it may be helpful if you could find a pal- possibly on this site -similar age and situation who would be available by text,phone,e-mail to provide more support to you.there,s bound to be at least one other uni student here.
good thinking with the i-pod.
with the bus trip,it's natural for you to view it as an ordeal to be endured.but please remember,despite previous trips being hard,you did actually cope i.e. physically and mentally you achieved your goal by completing that journey.could you try looking at such a trip as something positive achieved?with time,your thinking about it could possibly change to a more positive position.
if you think about your last few sentences of your last post,you are actually already doing that without meds!!!! the odd pat on the back for yourself wouldn't go amiss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm NOT SAYING that you do not need meds,but just don't under-estimate what you are cabable of!!!!!
please take care.

[Allye]

Hi

You have my complete sympathy I am in the same boat with meds. My doctor told me to go away and get some CBT (privately!!) and would not give me meds. The CBT did help but now the PA are back and I am going back to the doctors to see if they can give me something to assist, otherwise I think I may have to give up work. I have also booked up some more CBT as I do understand that meds only mask and do not cure – you need to change your thought processes as well.

Universities often offer counselling services – also if there is a health and social science department you may find they offer cheap or free counselling with trainee counsellors under supervision.

The Claire Weekes book (Self help For Your Nerves) is my bible. Remember nothing is an overnight cure.

[samc100]

Hi - please do go back to the university and talk to your tutor ( do you have a year tutor to go to?

I think all Unis have counselling services and these are brilliant starting points to getting help so please go and insist you are seen - they can help you resolve the class issues and work with your dept tutors to helping you.

There are ways you can be helped for instance with comprehensive notes from lectures and one-to-one help. You are not making a fuss or casuign problems in needing support. And they would rather help you than to see you leave the course.

Good luck xxxx

[jo61]

Could you take some sort of a sabbatical rather than dropping out? Most unis will allow this with a doctor's note.

[Dying_Swan]

Whoa. This thread really struck a chord with me.

My panic problems started when I was at Uni, and had to have 80% attendance, and going to class was the problem.

Eventually I took a 'break' from the course and went back to finish off after a year of trying to get sorted out.

Medication can certainly be helpful. Therapy, in my opinion, is just as effective, if not more so. Certainly, if you want to take the medication route, I'd suggest having therapy at the same time. I had both. It's really important to try to remain positive - despite thinking you already know what the therapist is going to tell you - try to keep an open mind....they just might have some advice you haven't already heard.

As for getting hold of meds - go back to the GP. Explain it all again and tell them exactly what you have said here. Even print out your initial post in this thread and show it to them.

Meanwhile, can you ask your lecturers for handouts?

The most important thing you can do is to try to stick it out when you want to run away. You did it on the bus, which is fantastic. As you said already, you know you won't die or collapse or go mad. In time, you will be able to stick it out through the lectures and then things will start to improve

Good luck xxx :flowers: