Silverbauble
16-06-23, 21:17
Evening everyone, this is my first time posting but I have read the site for a while.
Although I've never spoken to anyone about my anxiety or had a diagnosis, I know I've suffered from anxiety for over 6 years. I've always been a worrier but 6.5 years ago my son was born prematurely, I'd known something wasn't quite right but the hospital wouldn't listen, it resulted in him being born by emergency at 32 weeks. He was fine and we stayed in NICU for 4 weeks but the experience was horrendous and I've never got over it.
My anxiety escalated as my son got older and I had my second child. I constantly think the worst, every sneeze, odd spot, slight temp. sends me into panic. I worry when they go out in the car, if they are running I'm visualising them falling and hitting their head. At first it was mainly around the children but a number of life events has made things even worse. I lost my niece, she was stillborn after a perfectly normal pregnancy, when things went wrong in labour. 12 months later my Dad was diagnosed with a rare terminal illness and died a horrible death 6 months later. Both of these were out of the blue so has heightened my anxiety even more and I'm constantly expecting the worst.
Last week a colleague died of a heart attack. I had meetings with him the previous day and he was full of life, just over 12 hours later he'd passed away. I'm spiralling from what feels like the constant horrible events that happen without warning. Tonight I was was supposed to go out with OH, a very rare event. I couldn't go as I couldn't leave the children, even although their grandma was going to be looking after them.
We are supposed to be going on holiday next week, our first holiday abroad as a family of 4. I'm a well travelled person but I'm dreading it and really don't think I can go. I'm already worrying about the pool, the balcony in the apartment, the children being snatched. Its horrendous. We really need a nice relaxing family holiday but I cant stop thinking the worst.
Although I've never spoken to anyone about my anxiety or had a diagnosis, I know I've suffered from anxiety for over 6 years. I've always been a worrier but 6.5 years ago my son was born prematurely, I'd known something wasn't quite right but the hospital wouldn't listen, it resulted in him being born by emergency at 32 weeks. He was fine and we stayed in NICU for 4 weeks but the experience was horrendous and I've never got over it.
My anxiety escalated as my son got older and I had my second child. I constantly think the worst, every sneeze, odd spot, slight temp. sends me into panic. I worry when they go out in the car, if they are running I'm visualising them falling and hitting their head. At first it was mainly around the children but a number of life events has made things even worse. I lost my niece, she was stillborn after a perfectly normal pregnancy, when things went wrong in labour. 12 months later my Dad was diagnosed with a rare terminal illness and died a horrible death 6 months later. Both of these were out of the blue so has heightened my anxiety even more and I'm constantly expecting the worst.
Last week a colleague died of a heart attack. I had meetings with him the previous day and he was full of life, just over 12 hours later he'd passed away. I'm spiralling from what feels like the constant horrible events that happen without warning. Tonight I was was supposed to go out with OH, a very rare event. I couldn't go as I couldn't leave the children, even although their grandma was going to be looking after them.
We are supposed to be going on holiday next week, our first holiday abroad as a family of 4. I'm a well travelled person but I'm dreading it and really don't think I can go. I'm already worrying about the pool, the balcony in the apartment, the children being snatched. Its horrendous. We really need a nice relaxing family holiday but I cant stop thinking the worst.