busterrufus
24-06-23, 17:52
I have had anxiety, often very severe and for long periods of time, for many, many years now. About 18 months ago we ( me, my husband and grown up daughter) were invited to a wedding abroad. We accepted the invitation and I have been trying really hard to be well enough to go. It’s in a couple of months.
For the past year I have suffered stress from my dad’s illness and death last Sept. For months I have had daily headaches and the return of other horrible symptoms, nausea and panic attacks etc. I feel unable to go to the wedding and absolutely hate myself for it. I feel guilty about it as my husband and daughter are looking forward to it. I fear thatI feel I will be very unwell /die if I attempt to go.
I have not been able to plan for it or buy clothes, I am totally unprepared.
I am pretty sure if I didn’t have all the physical symptoms I would have been able to go. It’s like I’ve been putting off thinking about it but the fear and anticipatory anxiety is unbearable.
I am distraught that I will ruin things for my husband and daughter, but I am sure they won’t go without me, The nearer it gets, the more panic stricken I feel.
I don’t know if anyone can understand this, I’m just so sad about it all I am crying every day, but trying to cover it up. I’ve stopped going out. How can I get on a plane and go to a foreign country. I have morbid thoughts about it, like dying on the way in front of everyone. Don’t know what to do. Sorry for long post.
For the past year I have suffered stress from my dad’s illness and death last Sept. For months I have had daily headaches and the return of other horrible symptoms, nausea and panic attacks etc. I feel unable to go to the wedding and absolutely hate myself for it. I feel guilty about it as my husband and daughter are looking forward to it. I fear thatI feel I will be very unwell /die if I attempt to go.
I have not been able to plan for it or buy clothes, I am totally unprepared.
I am pretty sure if I didn’t have all the physical symptoms I would have been able to go. It’s like I’ve been putting off thinking about it but the fear and anticipatory anxiety is unbearable.
I am distraught that I will ruin things for my husband and daughter, but I am sure they won’t go without me, The nearer it gets, the more panic stricken I feel.
I don’t know if anyone can understand this, I’m just so sad about it all I am crying every day, but trying to cover it up. I’ve stopped going out. How can I get on a plane and go to a foreign country. I have morbid thoughts about it, like dying on the way in front of everyone. Don’t know what to do. Sorry for long post.