Reaction to upsetting news

[Beckybecks]

Lately, my husband has been very quiet and seemed troubled. Yesterday, he finally told me he's been feeling guilty because he cheated on me 10 years ago.
I made light of it because I felt sorry for him, I could see what the guilt was doing to him. I told him not to worry as it was a long time ago. I forgave him and told him that the very fact that he still felt guilty so long afterwards showed me he's basically a good and decent person. And I do believe that.
However, the news did actually shake me a little but I told myself it was so long ago and that we now have a happy and strong relationship.
So why do I now feel so anxious and physically unwell? This morning I've woken to aches and pains throughout my body and that anxious feeling in my chest.
Why should I react now to something that really has no impact on my life today?

[Catkins]

You've had a shock and your world has been rocked a little, so I think it's only natural that you are feeling anxious and with that anxiety you are feeling unwell.


Personally I know I would struggle if I found out the same. Yes it was 10 years ago, yes you're in a good place now, but, it's important to acknowledge that it hurts and not just prioritise his feelings over yours. If it was me I don't think it would end my relationship either, but I know that it would take me some time to get over even if I didn't want it to.


Be kind to yourself, talk to friends and/or your husband about how you're feeling.

[Beckybecks]

Thank you for replying and for the good advice