Fear of the last stage of thyroid cancer

[darlene85]

This is insane but I haven't been to the doctor for my disease, Hashimoto, for seven years. I was too scared and then pandemic and I just couldn't convince myself because all that time I was convinced that they will tell me I am in the last stage of thyroid cancer. 2015. a doctor ordered some more test after an ultrasound but I never came back and I am sure that was cancer and it could be cured back then but seven years later I am probably dying.

I have no energy, I feel so exhausted all the time, I am deeply depressed and anxious. Right now I feel like I am dying, I can't move. I am also afraid that they will leave me at hospital, that it's so bad even if I don't have cancer and I've just got a new job and I can't go to hospital. I know I am being unreasonable and if I am that sick I will end up in hospital in the end but I don't know how to help myself. I just can't face my fears.

It's not just thyroid cancer I am worried about, I am convinced that I have every other imaginable cancer and I have those scenarios in my head for years. But thyroid is most obvious because something was suspicious on my ultrasound. I know people who died from thyroid cancer even though it's curable because they waited too long.

[Swanee]

darlene85, if you have hashimotos and haven't had it checked for seven years you are bound to feel exhausted. I also have hashimotos, and I know how awful I felt before it was diagnosed, and until they got my thyroxine dose right. I have a friend who had thyroid cancer several years ago. She had obvious physical symptoms including a lump in her neck. She had successful surgery and is now absolutely fine. Another friend had an ultrasound which picked up a suspicious growth on her thyroid. She had a biopsy which came back inconclusive. Several weeks later she had surgery. During those few weeks her neck had developed an obvious lump. During surgery they removed an 8cm BENIGN tumour. She has now fully recovered, less than a month later. I have a cancer phobia too, and so I completely understand how that works - it's debilitating. My 'anxiety goblin' is constantly whispering in my ear, trying to convince me of the worst, no matter how harmless and benign it is in reality.
My advice to you would be - no matter how scary it is, bite the bullet and go back and get your thyroid checked, you might need a tweak in your dose of thyroxine.
IF your ultrasound had shown anything serious, you would have been chased up by the doctor, hospital and health service long before now! If you check the symptoms section on this website, I'm pretty sure you'll recognise a lot of the anxiety symptoms you are experiencing. They can feel very scary and very real, but are caused by an overdose of adrenaline and won't harm you. Give your surgery a ring. Explain that you have a severe health anxiety, and are very scared. My GP told me that I was in the 'big club' - most of his patients suffer from health anxiety. When you go to your appointment - breathe in slowly and deeply through your nose, thinking "breathe in calm....." - then breathe out slowly through your mouth thinking "breathe out stress..." Practice this stress control breathing technique - it will really help to calm you down. Sending you a big hug. Xxx

[darlene85]

Thank you. I have a goiter now, is that the same as lump? I must face my fears because I feel tired all the time and I can't live like that anymore. I stopped taking medications five years ago, I was on a minimum dose back then and I didn't see any progress. That's probably why I feel so awful all the time. I can barely clean my house.