lobbie
10-08-23, 10:14
Been very stressed for various reasons these last 4-5 months. It started off as worrying because I had some fatigue after recovering from what I assume was covid. I started googling for hours every day and at the same time had a stressful time at work + other health related worries.
It didn't take long until "strange symtoms" started popping up. Sometimes after dinner I started to get fast pulse that would stick around for an hour or two. Then somedays I would suddenly get heat rushes that made me feel insanely hot and start sweating... I managed to brush most things off and go on with my life until I got a panic attack a few weeks ago and went to the ER (where they of course didn't find anything wrong). Ever since then my life have been miserable and there haven't been a day when I felt fine.
My symtoms seem to vary every day and they come and go throughout the day. Sometimes I feel hot and feverish, sometimes I feel cold and shivering, sometimes I have derealization or feel like I'm in a dream, sometimes I feel dizzy or like I'm gonna faint, sometimes I feel nauseous, sometimes I have head pressure, sometimes I find it difficult to think or talk etc etc. It almost never happens that I just feel ok. It's almost always something going on and it's stressing me out so much. Every day I'm afraid something is seriously wrong with me but exactly what it is varies depending on my worst symtom at that particular time. It really could be anything; MS, ALS, brain tumor, cancer, HIV, lupus, diabetes... Honestly I probably worried about every more "serious" disease that I know of at this point.
I don't eat much because of nausea and general lack of appetite + my fear of anaphylaxis (that I also got after a panic attack after dinner) and my belly is not doing very good. I've started to burp a lot every day especially after eating and getting some acid reflux too that I haven't had before.
I went to the doctor at the beginning of July but that was when I was still just worried about my fatigue. They did some basic bloodwork and neurological tests which all went fine, so they told me to come back at the end of August if things didn't improve. The reason I can't go back there sooner is because over summer barely anything is open here unless it's an emergency. I can't even get an appointment with a psychologist until the end of the month.
Of course I'm planning to go back but the funny thing is that my "post covid fatigue" is the least of my worries right now. I still do have it when I walk and move around a lot but if I don't move that much I don't feel it. Right now my worries is just everything else and I honestly don't even know what symtoms to tell the doctor about. I can't exactly go there and say "please just test me for everything!". I've been thinking a bit about starting to take some anti-anxiety medication but then I also of course have a phobia of medication. I don't even take painkillers anymore because I'm scared of side effects or that I suddenly developed some allergy.
I work from home and live alone. It's really not ideal with HA as there's not much to do at work right now so my mind just jumps around to thoughts about what could be wrong with me and the particular symtom I feel at that specific moment. I'm worried that it's getting out of hand so that I soon won't be able to function at all (like not being able to work and just want to lie in bed all day).
Honestly I'm not sure why I'm writing this but I just feel so hopeless at the moment. Did anyone else experience anxiety symtoms every day that just seem to change from one thing to the other constantly? Any tips för how to make it better? I know you should try to just "accept" all the different sensations but it's so difficult when they are so strong.
Basically I just feel like I'm in "survival mode" right now waiting until I can visit the doctor or psychiatrist.
It didn't take long until "strange symtoms" started popping up. Sometimes after dinner I started to get fast pulse that would stick around for an hour or two. Then somedays I would suddenly get heat rushes that made me feel insanely hot and start sweating... I managed to brush most things off and go on with my life until I got a panic attack a few weeks ago and went to the ER (where they of course didn't find anything wrong). Ever since then my life have been miserable and there haven't been a day when I felt fine.
My symtoms seem to vary every day and they come and go throughout the day. Sometimes I feel hot and feverish, sometimes I feel cold and shivering, sometimes I have derealization or feel like I'm in a dream, sometimes I feel dizzy or like I'm gonna faint, sometimes I feel nauseous, sometimes I have head pressure, sometimes I find it difficult to think or talk etc etc. It almost never happens that I just feel ok. It's almost always something going on and it's stressing me out so much. Every day I'm afraid something is seriously wrong with me but exactly what it is varies depending on my worst symtom at that particular time. It really could be anything; MS, ALS, brain tumor, cancer, HIV, lupus, diabetes... Honestly I probably worried about every more "serious" disease that I know of at this point.
I don't eat much because of nausea and general lack of appetite + my fear of anaphylaxis (that I also got after a panic attack after dinner) and my belly is not doing very good. I've started to burp a lot every day especially after eating and getting some acid reflux too that I haven't had before.
I went to the doctor at the beginning of July but that was when I was still just worried about my fatigue. They did some basic bloodwork and neurological tests which all went fine, so they told me to come back at the end of August if things didn't improve. The reason I can't go back there sooner is because over summer barely anything is open here unless it's an emergency. I can't even get an appointment with a psychologist until the end of the month.
Of course I'm planning to go back but the funny thing is that my "post covid fatigue" is the least of my worries right now. I still do have it when I walk and move around a lot but if I don't move that much I don't feel it. Right now my worries is just everything else and I honestly don't even know what symtoms to tell the doctor about. I can't exactly go there and say "please just test me for everything!". I've been thinking a bit about starting to take some anti-anxiety medication but then I also of course have a phobia of medication. I don't even take painkillers anymore because I'm scared of side effects or that I suddenly developed some allergy.
I work from home and live alone. It's really not ideal with HA as there's not much to do at work right now so my mind just jumps around to thoughts about what could be wrong with me and the particular symtom I feel at that specific moment. I'm worried that it's getting out of hand so that I soon won't be able to function at all (like not being able to work and just want to lie in bed all day).
Honestly I'm not sure why I'm writing this but I just feel so hopeless at the moment. Did anyone else experience anxiety symtoms every day that just seem to change from one thing to the other constantly? Any tips för how to make it better? I know you should try to just "accept" all the different sensations but it's so difficult when they are so strong.
Basically I just feel like I'm in "survival mode" right now waiting until I can visit the doctor or psychiatrist.