ChrissiB
28-11-07, 13:32
Hi everyone,
my reason for registering on the forum isn't for myself but for my mother-in-law. For as long as I've known her (14 years) she's been reluctant to go anywhere new, eat anywhere other than at home our place or my brother-in-law's or go anywhere alone. Over the last 5 or 6 years this has got worse and she's felt ill or had an IBS attack whenever anything covered by the above list is coming up. Six months ago my father-in-law died (he'd been ill for 6 months and mother-in-law had been absolutely fine all that time and for the first time in years no IBS, anxiety etc). Since then her attacks have returned and got far worse. She's ended up in hospital twice with irregular heart beat and a pulse rate that the last time (Monday) hit over 160 and had the paramedics visit several more times.
We're worried... it seems at the moment that even the thought of popping out for a newspaper is too much for her. The symptoms are absolutely classic according to the info on NHS Direct (you'll be able to tell me if that's true) - dizzy, a bit faint (she has passed out a few times over the last couple of years), terrified of going out, heart racing, chest pains etc. She says she can't cope without her husband to tell her what to do (unfortunately, although it would be nice to have the option to be in that position, it was a very old fashioned marriage where her only responsibilities were to bring up the children and look after the house - she never dealt with bills, ordering fuel, putting diesel in the car or even for the last few years doing the weekly shop alone) and life isn't worth living (this obviously greatly upsets her two sons). As an example, yesterday evening her neice who she's always got on well with phoned for a chat but m-i-l said she couldn't cope with speaking to her - the panic in her voice was obvious and she was shaking at the thought.
Does anyone have any suggestions of how we can break the cycle of fear of attack causing attack and help her to cope with life? She's in her late 70's but apart from this is amazingly fit (we found her cutting the hedge a few weeks ago). One doctor suggested a short course of diazapam which m-i-l refused (I don't blame her on that one), another suggested beta-blockers which as she came home from hospital without them I'm assuming were also refused. Are there any books that might help her to understand what's happening? She's a very intelligent lady but at the moment can't accept that she's having panic attacks and hasn't got a major health problem - which I guess is all part of the panic attack anyway.
As you can probably tell I'm out of my depth on this one - I hope I've got my thoughts across ok, I'm very worried and know that this is going to take time to resolve (there's no such thing as snapping our of something this serious) and I want m-i-l to be able to regain some quality of life (and also, perhaps selfishly as we live almost next door and brother-in-law is several hours away, we'd like to be in the position where we can have a few days away - at the moment as m-i-l won't phone anyone for help apart from my husband it's impossible for us to have a break and has been this way for over a year now).
Many thanks for reading,
Chrissi
my reason for registering on the forum isn't for myself but for my mother-in-law. For as long as I've known her (14 years) she's been reluctant to go anywhere new, eat anywhere other than at home our place or my brother-in-law's or go anywhere alone. Over the last 5 or 6 years this has got worse and she's felt ill or had an IBS attack whenever anything covered by the above list is coming up. Six months ago my father-in-law died (he'd been ill for 6 months and mother-in-law had been absolutely fine all that time and for the first time in years no IBS, anxiety etc). Since then her attacks have returned and got far worse. She's ended up in hospital twice with irregular heart beat and a pulse rate that the last time (Monday) hit over 160 and had the paramedics visit several more times.
We're worried... it seems at the moment that even the thought of popping out for a newspaper is too much for her. The symptoms are absolutely classic according to the info on NHS Direct (you'll be able to tell me if that's true) - dizzy, a bit faint (she has passed out a few times over the last couple of years), terrified of going out, heart racing, chest pains etc. She says she can't cope without her husband to tell her what to do (unfortunately, although it would be nice to have the option to be in that position, it was a very old fashioned marriage where her only responsibilities were to bring up the children and look after the house - she never dealt with bills, ordering fuel, putting diesel in the car or even for the last few years doing the weekly shop alone) and life isn't worth living (this obviously greatly upsets her two sons). As an example, yesterday evening her neice who she's always got on well with phoned for a chat but m-i-l said she couldn't cope with speaking to her - the panic in her voice was obvious and she was shaking at the thought.
Does anyone have any suggestions of how we can break the cycle of fear of attack causing attack and help her to cope with life? She's in her late 70's but apart from this is amazingly fit (we found her cutting the hedge a few weeks ago). One doctor suggested a short course of diazapam which m-i-l refused (I don't blame her on that one), another suggested beta-blockers which as she came home from hospital without them I'm assuming were also refused. Are there any books that might help her to understand what's happening? She's a very intelligent lady but at the moment can't accept that she's having panic attacks and hasn't got a major health problem - which I guess is all part of the panic attack anyway.
As you can probably tell I'm out of my depth on this one - I hope I've got my thoughts across ok, I'm very worried and know that this is going to take time to resolve (there's no such thing as snapping our of something this serious) and I want m-i-l to be able to regain some quality of life (and also, perhaps selfishly as we live almost next door and brother-in-law is several hours away, we'd like to be in the position where we can have a few days away - at the moment as m-i-l won't phone anyone for help apart from my husband it's impossible for us to have a break and has been this way for over a year now).
Many thanks for reading,
Chrissi