Fear of legs collapsing and no confidence

[mlondon]

In August i was at my lowest, i had to move in with my mum for a while and i couldn't be left alone. If she took the bin out i went with her, i couldn't go anywhere on my own. Since August things have really improved. I have moved back in with my partner, got a new job i enjoy (i have no idea how i made it to the interview!) and my 'comfort zone' has expanded. I can spend time alone as well. I put the success down to CBT and determination.

But now i feel like I have stopped improving and i think is this it forever? I still think about every journey i need to do and worry about it. Most days I still worry about the walk i do to work which I have done over 100 times now.

I have had some really strange worries that stop me going out. As well as the usual, will i find it hard to breath, faining etc? I have worried about things i can't explain such as whether i can keep my eyes open and at the moment i am worrying that my legs will collapse. Today i wanted to go shopping and feel anoyed with myself because i just couldn't do it. I went to my usual 'comfrt areas' which includes a 30 min train ride to my mums but i couldn't get the bus into town to go shopping, when i was going to my leg collapsing fears kicked in (no pun intended). My legs felt heavy and slow.

Has anyone else experienced this fear? Something in my stomach stops me doing things, what is it?

I used to travel loads, i liked learning about new places and every time i think about what I can no longer do i feel so miserable. I feel so depressed.

Can anyone give some motivating advice? Can i get better? Can i travel again? I have lost all my confidence, how do i get this back? Big questions i know.

[Believe]

Hello,

First off well done on the new job and moving back into your own home. That took alot of work and gutts on your part.

Second the leg thing is your anxiety, I know thats hard to believe but it's anxiety. Seems like you have done well with expanding your comfort zone, so I would tell you to do the same with your traveling.Maybe do the bus an couple of times to get use to it, before you take it to go shopping, once you are comfortable with that then add your shopping in. Also remember you can do this, you are going to beat this and don't let this get you down.

As for your confidence in your self, you already have it, you are working and walking there and you are back on your own so you have it there also. You just need to remember that you are ok and that anxiety it's going to hurt you or kill you, that you can live the life that you are meant to live. It's one day at a time here and remember to be kind to yourself along the way.

Hope this helps.

[mlondon]

Hi

Thanks it does help. It is reassuring. One thing I am never sure about is whether i am pushing myself too much or whether i should be doing more. I feel that all I do these days is eat chocolate, buy clothes and sit at home and watch TV all treats as this is generally all i feel i can do after work.