View Full Version : Women of a certain age...
When I say a certain age, the age can be from 35+ depending on your personal circumstances.
I wanted to start a thread mainly for help, discussion, tips for peri and post menopause.
Did you know that the symptoms can be similar to anxiety and anxiety can be one of the symptoms.
Did you know that menopausal symptoms can last for years? Did you know that there are symptoms that you wouldn't think could be related to hormonal change such as...
A sudden pain (especially under the breast bone)
Unexplained itching
Dropping things
Bumping into things
Forgetting what you were going to say
Sudden headrush
Fatigue
Achy joints (especially wrists and lower back)
Insomnia
Hot flushes
Tearful for no particular reason
Loss of patience
Not wanting to be in crowds
Weight gain
Unexplained smells or a change in smell
Crawling feeling on the legs
Change in taste
A feeling of falling forward
Thinking there's someone in the room when there isn't
Forgetting where you put stuff
Urgency for the loo
Digestive issues
Blurry eyesight / straining eyesight
Tripping over nothing
Not wanting to socialise
Lack of sex drive
Fear for no reason....
The list is endless. Anyone familiar with any of these symptoms? So often we are diagnosed with anxiety when menopause can actually be to blame for some of the symptoms.
I would love to be the part of the group, I think it is wonderful idea!
Female, white, 62 years of age, one son, married.
Lana
46 here, I basically need someone to tell me on loop that my weird periods aren't a sign that I'm dying.
In return I can offer cheerleading, cat photos and easy recipes.
BlueIris, your weird periods are not anything to worry about. It's all down to hormones. x
I'm 40 and I get all of these any more! Heart palpitations is another one that is super common from hormonal change. So much fun being a lady.
Me too!!! 49 now and the relentless anxiety took off when I was 41! It’s been a decade of fear, with a few months of calm in between each flare up.
Feeling many of these symptoms but the mood swings and sleeping through the night are terrible. Have been dealing with one sided intermittent breast pain for 5 months now and not sure if this is a peri symptom or not!!!!!
Thanks for starting this post!
Sel
alpacagirl
11-10-23, 02:51
I'm 50 and anxiety started around mid 30's for me. Now I get morning sickness type nausea, adrenaline rushes ( especially at around 4am and then hard to get back to sleep), other gut issues, headaches ( worst was daily headaches for 4 months straight), still a lot of anxiety and don't socialize except with my family. Periods are still fairly regular but have been heavy for last 10 years (maybe more ? forgotten haha). Brain fog....do stupid things at times like try to put wrong lid on container, you know the usual brain fart type issues LOL. Mind you hubby does that too.
Fun times :yesyes:
I'm 56 and on HRT, very familiar with all of the symptoms. To be honest the physical symptoms were easier than the emotional ones. One minute I would be furious about something the next uncontrollable crying with no idea why I'd been furious. HRT has helped but it's still a bit of a roller coaster.
I would definitely join I’m 59 and thought it was all behind me but unfortunately not
Well this is a good idea for a thread; thanks for starting it Carnation. I haven’t had a period in over a year, but still get ‘period pains’ as if I’m about to come on. Also still feel there’s lots of hormones circulating around. Anyone else?
Darwin, yes! You can still get the emotional and physical feelings at that time of the month even though you don't get the physical period. The tummy bloating, the irritability, feeling tearful. It's not a case of just stopping because there is hormone adjustment and your body has been used to a monthly cycle.
Smogie, apparently you can get menopausal symptoms for many years after you have stopped your periods.
Everyone is different but up to 20 years is not unheard of.
Catkins, the emotional ride can be as confusing to us as it is to others.
One minute you may be irritated for no particular reason. It might be a case of snapping with your o/h, maybe even over something years ago or something simple like not putting something. The next minute you could be tearful, then it's all back to normal and everyone's wondering what it is all about. :shrug:
Alpacagirl, sleep was a big change for me.
I used to sleep right through the night. Now I wake up in the early hours of the morning, maybe 2am,3am 4am,sometimes all three. It's weird.
Sel123, that under the breast pain I've had several times over a ten year period. It doesn't come on if I'm lifting or doing a hard task, it might just be a simple movement and I think "what's all that about?" Then I found out it was menopausal related. Although it wouldn't hurt to get it checked out with a GP for peace of mind. I've only just found out that it is listed as a menopausal symptom. I thought I'd pulled a muscle, it's that painful.
Erin, it is confusing if someone has been diagnosed with anxiety and you have menopausal to go through at the same time. Which one is which? That's why I wanted to start this thread because maybe some of those anxiety symptoms are actually us women going through the change.
I'm definitely finding it harder to keep a lid on my anxiety this past year or so.
Then it could well be menopause in the mix BlueIris.
I've been studying this for sometime and I sort of had a light bulb moment. And it's so easy to blame everything on anxiety. I was amazed to learn the parallels between menopause and anxiety.
Bloody hell I really was unaware of this fact I thought when I was done I was done did the idea of a group get off the ground x
Alpacagirl I get those adrenaline surges early hours they’re horrible again it’s hard to tell what’s what
I think we already have one smogie :yesyes:
I'll be posting more bits soon...
Erin, it is confusing if someone has been diagnosed with anxiety and you have menopausal to go through at the same time. Which one is which? That's why I wanted to start this thread because maybe some of those anxiety symptoms are actually us women going through the change.
Yes, for sure! There is so much overlap! And, I had a hysterectomy two years ago (still have working ovaries), which just adds to the mystery because I never have any idea where I am or should be in my cycle. It's just chaos!
Where do I find the group or is it just posts on here?
Erin, one of the symptoms of the menopausal stage can be anxiety.
I was surprised my GP didn't even mention this when I was being diagnosed with general anxiety.
I'm wondering if GPs cover this at all in any of their practices.
YoullNeverWalkAlone
20-10-23, 10:23
Nothing was mentioned to me either about anxiety, I had to do my own research, but back then mental health wasn’t in the headlines like it is now x
It should be mentioned YNWA.
Menopause is no easy ride.
Changes in the body, hormones, monthly cycle all over the place, unexplained feelings and emotions. Changes to our appearance, the way we feel.
I can't help thinking that some diagnoses of anxiety disorder are confused with the menopause.
I mean literally, so many people have anxiety these days and I know full well it exists, but maybe the increase (in women) is partly, even wholly down to the menopause or it adds to it.
Take those hot flushes and night sweats, anxiety or menopause? How can we tell the difference.
Becoming tearful or anger rages. Hormone change?
I don't understand why the menopause isn't put out there more, I mean, we all have to go through it. :shrug:
YoullNeverWalkAlone
20-10-23, 11:04
Exactly Carnation, I agree, although I did have anxiety way before the menopause but wasn’t sure if meno was complicating things.
I remember right at the beginning I had to go see a gynaecologist for a few tests to make sure it was the menopause causing symptoms..(not anxiety) .....HE...turned to me and said it’s JUST the menopause, go home and enjoy it...
What the heck was that supposed to mean and would he have said that if it was men that had to go through it....
Not one word of explanation of what I could expect or not to be alarmed if this or that happens...
That doesn't surprise me YNWA.
I think if you already have anxiety issues, the menopause can definitely make it worse for numerous reasons..
Unexplained feelings. I remember having incredibly itchy legs. I'm not saying everyone gets this symptom but it's up there on the list.
I also get a bit miffed when I've read or heard it lasts a couple of years. Maybe for some, but it can go on much longer than that.
I get the itching, not just my legs but all over. Thankfully it comes and goes these days.
I get, ahh, intimate itching. It's horrible.
I also had to stop wearing any clothes made from polyester, viscose or nylon.
Natural fabrics only.
alpacagirl
21-10-23, 11:16
Yes me too, itching and dry skin. Have dandruff again for the first time in ages. My GP is going through menopause so she's at least a bit sympathetic but even she didn't link anxiety and perimenopause ( I think that's a common thing with a lot of GPs they just pop diseases into little boxes and treat them individually instead of looking at the overall picture. Maybe it's what they have to do being under time pressure). It was only when I said to her that my anxiety is probably worse due to my hormones that she said " yes that certainly happens to a lot of women". She pretty much said a lot of previous conditions (emotional and physical) can get amplified during menopause. So things like IBS, headaches/migraines, anxiety can all get worse at that time. Also food sensitivities can get worse or pop up for the first time. My gut has decided chocolate is not a good thing anymore and the consequences are a bit brutal LOL. On the up side I'm trimming down because I can't the volume of chocolate I used to :D. That's a silver lining right ?
I'm the same with chocolate.
Actually my tastes have changed and extra tummy weight,even slimming down, its still there!
Anyone's taste changed?
Or find some things taste / smell funny?
Food cravings?
Baked beans, I can't stand them anymore, they make me nauseous. :wacko:
My tastes haven't changed so much to be honest, but what I can and can't eat has. That might be more connected with acid though, I used to be able to drink gallons of fresh juice, now it's a big no, no, the discomfort afterwards isn't worth it.
Did your acid situation come later in life catkins, because mine did and the same with my mum.
I literally could eat anything in my youth.
Interestingly, my dad could eat or drink anything at all, even in his 80s.
Mine started in my early 40's, before that I seemed fine. It's incredibly frustrating!
It is and seems to come from nowhere. :shrug:
alpacagirl
29-10-23, 09:11
I haven't got an acid stomach as such but have developed silent reflux in the last few years which causes some throat issues. Also morning sickness type nausea at times and yes certain smells will set me off. I've always had a really strong sense of smell so that doesn't help the situation. My digestion has always been a bit dodgy since I was in my teens ( IBS type stuff or indigestion) and that's definitely worse lately. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what still agrees with me now. I've been gluten free for years and have always been sensitive to dairy but some weeks it feels like nothing agrees with my gut. I think partly it's just because my anxiety has increased from all the hormonal ups and downs and the early morning adrenaline rushes often lead to morning dash to the toilet. Ugh.
Can I join too? I blame everything on perimenopause now. I’m trying to get back to sleep though so shouldn’t be reading this, I’ll come back later!
Yes, of course Scass.
That's another thing, waking up in the night, sometimes several times. I used to sleep right through.
Alpacagirl, silent reflux is awful. Have you had to change your diet apart from being gluten free?
Bread can sometimes set my tummy off too.
I do eat a lot of dairy which seems ok most of the time, but you are right, when anxiety is in play it's not the best thing to consume. Chocolate another one.
I'm interested to know what people eat for lunch if they don't have a sandwich.
Yesterday the clocks went back an hour in the UK, and I couldn't believe how hungry I was at dinnertime. Whether it was the miserable weather or change in routine but Mr C was the same.
alpacagirl
30-10-23, 13:01
Yes, of course Scass.
That's another thing, waking up in the night, sometimes several times. I used to sleep right through.
Alpacagirl, silent reflux is awful. Have you had to change your diet apart from being gluten free?
Bread can sometimes set my tummy off too.
I do eat a lot of dairy which seems ok most of the time, but you are right, when anxiety is in play it's not the best thing to consume. Chocolate another one.
I'm interested to know what people eat for lunch if they don't have a sandwich.
Yesterday the clocks went back an hour in the UK, and I couldn't believe how hungry I was at dinnertime. Whether it was the miserable weather or change in routine but Mr C was the same.
Yes I used to look forward to going to bed and was the best sleeper. Now I wake at 2, 4, 5.30.. pretty much exact time every night. Weird dreams too. I have dreams to do with my mobile phone haha. I always end up somewhere alone and try to use my phone to contact my husband or someone, but either the battery is flat or I can't get to the contact numbers or can't enter the right numbers. I have variations of that dream a lot. The other one is driving a car where the brakes don't work properly. I guess I'm processing not being in control or something LOL. I've been gluten free for over 20 years so that's not a recent thing. The ENT wasn't much help as far as diet advice for acid reflux goes so did my own research there. Loosely follow the advice in the "Acid watchers diet" and " Dropping acid" books. That's helped a lot. Dairy definitely makes it a lot worse. It's not 100% gone but much better. When I saw the ENT I had one sided throat and ear pain etc. Now it's just a mild cough at times. I tried Pantoprazole but it made me so nauseous, I use liquid gaviscon as needed. I often have leftovers for lunch from the night before but mainly some gluten free bread with egg and some vegies on the side or a salad in summer/soup in winter. We don't have daylight saving anymore where I live. Most people voted against it years ago, especially the farmers.
glassgirlw
31-10-23, 00:57
I get many of these symptoms and more. And it feels like no two months are the same symptom wise. Some months palps, some months crazy emotions…random acne breakouts have started up again after 20 years of clear skin. Not sleeping thru the night is a pretty constant one. So fun being a woman sometimes. 44 here!
Alpacagirl, I have the same thing with waking up constantly during the night. It's so annoying and usually I know what the time is going to be before I even look.
And the weird dream, several a night sometimes and like you, repetitive dreams. Did you know time doesn't exist in your dreams, apparently. :shrug:
I've had constant bloating and gas for a week or so, with nausea. I get really worried that it's going to be ovarian cancer even though I've had gut problems on and off through my life.
Don't get me started on the weird dreams, either. Every night I dream somebody's mad at me and telling me how worthless I am.
glassgirlw, so many symptoms, like you say, fun being a woman. Dry skin I noticed come gradually. Actually my mum never washed her face with water because it dried it out so much, she just used cleanser.
Aww, that's a horrible dream BlueIris :hugs:
Please try to remember it's just a dream because you are certainly not worthless.
Bloating and gas is so common, a little embarrassing with the gas if you are out. Its funny if it's a guy farting but a woman doing it is seen as disgusting. Mr C gives me one of his looks and he's like jet engine most of the time, lol.
I know it sounds back to front but if I have a bloated tummy I will eat more to move the bloatedness. Or make a freshly squeezed lemon drink. Its such an uncomfortable feeling and makes you very sluggish.
I'm really lucky, Mr Iris isn't particularly traditional and he's known I'm naturally gaseous since within a couple of weeks of first meeting me.
This is the thing, bloating doesn't destroy my appetite, it makes me famished for some reason.
Yes, because mostly its air causing the bloating.
It might have been from rushing a previous meal, taking in too much air when eating (this can happen when you talk while eating) or you might have had a mealtime with a much later time than usual.
Obviously bloating can also be :time of the month' or with women they can still get the monthly cycle feelings.
But if you are belching it's trapped wind. And a good fart releases that as well as eating even if your tummy is bloated.
Mr Iris sounds a star :yesyes:
I have terrible wind, I often have to rush to the loo at work just to pass wind. Although sometimes it happens unexpectedly if I sneeze, cough or even laugh, fine when I'm not at work, not so good when I'm there.
Sneezing, coughing and laughing can also make me pee!
Horrible, but true.
I'll join been having peri for about almost ten years now, I am 50 years old, mysecondspring.ie is another good website on all things peri and menopause. Also ladies you can have cold chills instead of hot flashes as well.
Carnation omg me too, I can't laugh or cough or sneeze and I am peeing.
Here is the symptoms I have had so far going through this
IBS
Join aches and pain
Mood Swings (I do have bipolar)
Brain Fog
not wanting to be around people
being tired
Cold Chills
Not having a period for extended amounts of time
dry skin
anxiety
feeling like my skin is crawling
Bladder control issues, can't laugh, sneeze or cough without wetting myself
Itchy skin
insomnia (my sleep is never on track)
weight gain
muscle twitches
Wanting to stay home and not really do anything
Feeling like I have lost myself.
Welcome PKstracy.
Those symptoms sound familiar.
Has anyone mentioned no sex drive?
And being easily irritated?
alpacagirl
02-11-23, 09:46
Pkstracy I could tick off all of those except my periods are still pretty regular ( anywhere from 23-32 day cycles LOL. I used to be a to the day 28 day cycle). I'm 50 as well and not sure when I really started perimenopause. I only really started looking into it when my periods got a little wonky but a lot of the other symptoms I've had for many years.
Hmm yeah Carnation sex drive what is that ?? LOL. Lucky hubby doesn't care. He's got so many pain issues he's probably glad haha. My moods are all over the place, cry over stupid things, get irritated by minor stuff etc. It's frustrating, I was a very chilled out person in my younger years.
Hi all, not posted here in yonks but glad I found this thread!
I was on HRT until two years ago and am now post meno but there isn't a day when something doesn't feel wonky!
Still get a few hot flushes
Anxiety
Digestive issues and nausea (have GORD anyway)
Brain fog
Poor concentration
Lack of motivation
Irritated sciatic nerve
Parasthesia
Insomnia
Psoriasis flare-ups
Muscle aches
The past few days I have had sore, tender skin and muscles all over - like when you have flu but I don't actually feel ill.
Gritting my teeth hoping all this will settle down properly eventually!
I'm pleased I'm not the only one catkins x
Alpacagirl, it's good you can still have a sense of humour x
Welcome to the club Brunette.
You've got a bit of list there.
I'm post meno too and yes, when will it end? x
So ladies, I have a feeling I am the oldest here right now ( 62), but my menopause has been really hard, and I have suffered from a severe anxiety and OCD for years. I have had most of the symptoms that many of you have listed, lost my sex drive long ago, recently for the first time I developed some symptoms of silent reflux ( that is one of the things I never had before, in spite of my IBS), and the latest, going on for over a week now, this weird feeling in my bladder , it is like I am hyper aware of it, and it feels like a little pressure, like I have to pee way too often. I saw my doctor 2 days ago, and she did a complete urine analysis - all normal, absolutely nothing suspicious or off . She also felt my stomach and my pelvis, and even offered a gyno exam , but added she did not think I needed it, she would do it only for me to calm down. That is because I had had a real pelvic exam in early October, which was normal and that gynecologist told me that I do not need anything else, just to wait for a next yearly exam. So, I said to her: No, I am fine. She was really nice. ( it is so nice to have an understanding doctor)
After this urine analysis and her reassuring words 2 days ago I though my mind will calm down, and these symptoms would disappear, but they are sort of still here ( a little bit of urgency, a little bit of pressure...). It is like I am completely focused just on my bladder. Shall I just wait for it to pass? Or shall I request an ultrasound?
By the way, I am so, so tired of all these various symptoms over these years, really exhausted. Also - very depressed, and do not want to do anything fun. Nice to know, though, that there are other women with very similar symptoms, and we can share our experiences. Good health to all of you.
Lana, I'm sure you are not alone in your emotions and symptoms and this thread is certainly showing a little suffering in the change of a woman's life.
I don't think anyone can say whether you have further investigation into your bladder, it's something you have to decide yourself. But... I know there are many others that have issues with their bladder and for me, having a pee has become a bit of an issue.
For one thing, I'm super aware about wanting to go, staying hydrated, and those embarrassing dribbles from coughing, sneezing, laughing and sometimes from being anxious. I thought, "oh no, I'm going to have to go back to wearing pads again, because I feel myself giving myself that look of" have I done something? ".
It's also common for that area to be less taut and despite trying those tightening exercises, it doesn't really help.
None of this mattered pre menopause and I suppose it's something we just have to manage and cope with.
The depression for me is more of a sadness, almost melancholy and I think if you've always had the potential to a bit that way, the menopause can certainly increase that. I try to put my mind to hobbies, helping other people and being grateful that I'm still alive, because life is precious and although growing older can have its issues the alternative is not better in my opinion.
It does help to know other women may feel the same, have similar issues and it's good to talk. Let's face it, it's not a subject that comes up very often and not normally a conversation when socialising, that being another thing that seems to fade.
I think it's important we try to see the positives in our lives and also to treat ourselves. Whether it's having a warm soak in the bath, a new outfit / haircut, a piece of cake, a bunch of flowers.... because us women go through a lot and we deserve it! :hugs:
alpacagirl
06-11-23, 07:22
Carnation I'm so glad you started this thread. It's so easy to feel alone with all these changes going on in your body and when you are prone to health anxiety it can be scary at times. I'm not someone who runs to the doctor about every little symptom (just the way I was brought up). So I tend to dwell on things for weeks before I finally make myself go. Of course by then my anxiety has imagined all sorts of stupid scenarios. Doesn't help that I have a medical background so I don't even need to google to scare myself :wacko:
I'm the same alpacagirl, you only went to the doctors if your arm or leg was dropping off, type of situation. It was take an aspirin for most things.
Although my late mum in her latter life became a bit of a regular visitor, dad was sort of made of steel.
I've got to admit I do have 'white coat syndrome' as I've got older and I tend to just put up with anything that arises.
Let's hope we can all be some help to each other as far as the menopause is concerned because let's face it, it can be pretty scary experiencing our bodies changing. :hugs:
YoullNeverWalkAlone
06-11-23, 09:36
Same here Carnation, hate going to the doctors...when you can get to see one that is....they scare me, they never seem to just treat you now like they used to, they refer you to someone one else at the hospital and that’s even scarier...
Anyone find loosing weight more difficult after menopause, I do, no matter what I do I can’t shift those extra pounds, I can put it on quick enough though...
The good ol family doctor gone YNWA.
Yes, I gained weight, mostly on the timmy area and the times I cut out stuff which made no difference whatsoever so I thought I might as well eat the cake anyway and be happy! :D
It's definitely harder to loose weight. My waist seems to have gone on extended leave.
A good way of putting it catkins :D
alpacagirl
10-11-23, 03:28
I can still lose weight but it's a lot harder now! I have to count calories and walk a good hour a day ( which helps me mentally so don't mind the walking and the dog certainly doesn't mind haha). But the calorie counting gets boring after a while so I tend to gain and lose the same 2kg. Yes Carnation I remember only going to the doctors for vaccinations. If we had high fevers we'd just get the cold damp towels wrapped around our legs :yesyes:. Mind you it worked LOL. Now that I'm older I do have my yearly bloods and go if stuff lingers too long and starts to play on my mind too much. My doctor listens and only sends me for tests if she thinks it's medically necessary. She knows I have health anxiety and I told her ages ago not to send me for scans etc just for reassurance only if she thinks it needs further investigating. I trust her judgement and so far she's always been right. She used to be an ER doctor so I think she's good at knowing what the red flags are and doesn't hesitate to refer or test if it's really needed.
I'm a big fan of home remedies, (probably because I like to avoid the doctor). But some of those old fashioned remedies work and so many foods have natural healing.
Sleep is amazing at repairing when we are sick.
I do feel now as you get older that they want to test you for almost everything under the sun and I've heard my local dentist spat the same lingo to aging patients.... "give up sugar, stop drinking alcohol, stop smoking, get plenty of exercise" and I look at him and think, "I bet you don't".
Reading up on menopause is such an eye-opener for me. I never realised it could cause anxiety and so many symptoms like the crawling on the legs. That occasional head rush, the sudden pain in the wrist, ankle, knee, back. Feeling wiped out, feeling teary, feeling angry, feeling depressed. Feeling bloated, looking bloated.
Don't get me started on the loss of eyebrows and hair coming out like there's no tomorrow when you brush your hair. As for hair... So much dryer, doesn't seem to lay comfortably around your face, almost turns wild and needs a good amount of taming. And where has my armpit hair gone? Even my legs hardly need shaving these days (but that's positive!) :yesyes:
Great thread. I’m 48 and my symptoms include, headaches, 6 weekly periods, itchy ears with peeling skin, dry facial skin, moles and freckles which have peeled, scabbed, gone completely or gone bigger, feeling hot, bad sleep at night and crawling sensation on my skin. It’s not a happy time for us girls!
It certainly isn't Blonde :hugs:
The crawling skin is so weird.
YoullNeverWalkAlone
19-11-23, 14:25
Talking of hair Carnation, I’ve noticed a couple of hairs sprouting up on my chin, I pluck them out but the darn things grow again, before you know it, I’ll be growing balls and talking with a deep voice....:roflmao:
Lasers are your friend. I've been gradually getting my moustache layered off.
YoullNeverWalkAlone
19-11-23, 14:53
Hi Blue...
i was thinking of those but didn’t know how good they were, have you bought your own or are you having it professionally done and does it work xx
I've been spared that so far YNWA :hugs:
YNWA, My office buddy's auntie is a former hospital laser tech who runs her own salon. I've had about six sessions on my upper lip - £20 per session, every 2 months or so - and I don't think there's much left to go. It takes about ten minutes total and the worst the pain gets is a 2/10 for a fraction of a second. Would definitely recommend, especially if you're fair with dark hair.
Spotting again and freaking out, I'd really rather not involve a GP. I'm wondering if all the stress with my Dad and the phone being stolen could be involved.
Stress could well be a factor.
BlueIris, I read so many posts about spotting. Check them out if it will give you reassurance. x
Thank you. Honestly, by the timing it's probably just ovulation.
I had spotting pre menopause. Even when my periods ceased I still had occasional spotting. x
With regards to the facial hair, I have to get my chin waxed every three weeks otherwise I start looking like Gandalf.
Seriously, Catkins, lasers. It's been a game changer for me.
Still spotting with small clots, but Reddit reckons weird ovulation happens especially in peri.
In a state of constant panic right now, but they've tightened the sickness absence regulations at work now so I have to go in.
My favorite bored habit is picking the hairs out of my chin, hahaha. I'll do it with my fingers mindlessly while sitting at work and then I have a pair of tweezers next to my bed so I can pull the rest while I watch TV at night!
Oh Erin, that must be such a joy!
Anyone here go for a wee and literally minutes after feel the need to go again?
At night, yes. I go to bed, lie down and then half an hour later I need to pee.
This isn't something that's worrying me, but any of you lovely ladies have eczema? Over the past few days my knuckles have gone very pink and dry. I'm informed that I wash my hands way too much, my skin is pretty dry at the best of times and I'd rather this didn't get any worse.
At night, yes. I go to bed, lie down and then half an hour later I need to pee.
Yes, that's when it mostly happens to me
This isn't something that's worrying me, but any of you lovely ladies have eczema? Over the past few days my knuckles have gone very pink and dry. I'm informed that I wash my hands way too much, my skin is pretty dry at the best of times and I'd rather this didn't get any worse
I'd say that was from being too dry BlueIris.
The best thing is to put hand cream on just before bed time so you are not washing your hands for 7-8 hours. Neutrogena is a great hand cream.
I like Neutrogena a lot, but I have some really nice beeswax and orange blossom stuff right now.
Sounds lovely. Try to remember to use it just before sleeping and wear gloves when you go out in the cold.
The best hand cream I've found is Bodyshop hemp handcream. I wash my hands and use alcohol gel a lot with work so my hands get dry - the rest of me is quite oily.
alpacagirl
03-12-23, 00:24
Oh yes, if I'm near a toilet I always think " may as well go while I'm here" :D. My hands get dry too and get some red patches but no itching. I think since Covid I've washed my hands a lot more plus we have a lot of outdoor animals etc so always seem to be washing them which doesn't help with an already dryer body. My skin in general is a lot dryer. I hardly ever used to bother moisturising but now I do it nearly every day.
I love the Body Shop hemp range!
Unfortunately I have very dry skin even under normal circumstances, and while I haven't had red patches before my hands have been peeling pretty much constantly for a couple of years.
The best hand cream I’ve found for the winter is Cetraben. It’s so good over night & when your hands get those sore knuckles.
Ladies, I have a question for you all: does any of you have spider or varicose veins? I am 62, and I noticed little bit more of spider veins on my legs. Unfortunately, I read today that there was a woman in China who developed spider and varicose veins all over her trunk, stomach, , back ( really severe), and was diagnosed with lymphoma. :scared15: I wish I had not seen that article.
I've got them on my face and breasts. I don't love them, but they don't worry me.
I have them on my breast as well.
Lana I don't think you have anything to worry about.
Even my o/h has them on his legs.
Carnation, and certainly all the other ladies,
I love this little sub-Forum of hours, and honestly, I wish we could meet once every couple of weeks, and just sit together, drink coffee or tea, and talk. It is so helpful, and I am so happy to be part of the group.
I just went through all the posts here again, and want to add:
Yes, pee problems, getting during the night to pee, and often must pee very shortly after I had already peed; within last three weeks had transvaginal ultrasound, and bladder and kidneys ultrasound : normal results. Pee problems continue though;
Still occasional night sweats; I used to have them really severe in my mid 50s, and then I had a break for several years, but now again, although rarely;
Yes, I am also often plucking stubborn hair from my chin;
My skin is sometimes itchy for no reason;
I sometimes have restless legs , but it is not always , and for the life of me, sometimes it seems like all of this comes from my mind;
In the last two years my previously only slightly deviated septum worsened, and I can barely breathe through my left nostril;
Because of all these ( and other) symptoms, I have been to the doctors so many times, and had so many tests, that I am really scared if something is actually physically wrong, nobody will believe me, LOL...
I also believe that I am not really happy with my life, which I probably trained myself to translate into various physical symptoms and anxiety; in addition, after my mother died three years ago, death is almost always on my mind, which I know is the stupidest waste of time - but I do know how to get rid of it.
I love this little sub-Forum of hours, and honestly, I wish we could meet once every couple of weeks, and just sit together, drink coffee or tea, and talk. It is so helpful, and I am so happy to be part of the group.
That would be lovely but we have to settle for here for now.
Lana, it's sometimes difficult to separate menopausal symptoms from menopausal symptoms as I've said previously. After some research I found so much that made me realise it wasn't all anxiety which in a way gave me some relief. Although the symptoms are not that pleasant, the knowing why is a relief in itself.
Lana I've lost my mother too and like you 'death' crosses my mind more times than I'd like it to be.
Then I think that my mum wouldn't want that and I busy myself with something. I think to a certain extent its natural after such a loss, so you are not alone. x
I've been thinking (like you do, lol) about getting older and discovering the true identity of yourself.
We play roles in life..... the daughter, the girlfriend, the wife /partner, the mother, the carer.... but when those roles are finished or not needed in any great capacity there is a certain amount of emptiness/void to be filled. In fact, it probably existed most of the time while we played those roles but as you get older it becomes a bit more apparent with the feelings of finding your vocation and doing what you want, finding yourself.
Sometimes it's not always about physical stuff but the mental cravings, the finding of happiness and peace.
You hear about people taking up painting, writing a book, joining walking groups, starting up classes to learn something. Going to exercise classes, becoming volunteers for an organisation /charity, even going back to work. It's like we are seeking something but this time around we have the choice or think more about what we would like to do with our time rather than be pressurised out of necessity.
Another thing....
Clothes /Style.
No one wants to look like their granny but at the same time, the thought of teenage style clothes could just make you look a bit ridiculous and draw attention to yourself.
No, we want to look good and fir people to comment on how nice your outfit is.
Luckily in this decade almost anything goes and there's no particular fashion as such. The shops seem to cater for a wide age group with no rules.
Certain pieces stand the test if time with fashion and age such as jeans.
But as you age, your body does to and that extra weight on the tummy area has you wearing loose tops, baggy jumpers. I've discovered a blouse /shirt a great item because it has shape to the top and hangs loose around the tummy. Cardigans are great to, so are gilets.
So it's not just what is going on inside our bodies, it's how we adapt to changing body on the outside.
alpacagirl
12-12-23, 09:36
I've had some spider veins on my thighs for many years. Not a lot and they've never bothered me. Just had my iron tested a few weeks ago and ferritin has dropped low. I had been taking iron supps but had switched to one that was gentler on the stomach because I'd had some gut issues and yeah apparently not as well absorbed as the heavy duty ones I was on before. So back on the other ones. Gut seems to be ok...crossing fingers LOL. She said to eat more red meat ( I'd cut down to be healthier). I said to her "next time you'll tell me off because my cholesterol is high again haha. It is all a balancing act isn't it. I still have regular heavy periods. I'm looking forward to the day they disappear! Makes sense now why I've been feeling "lazy" and unmotivated lately. Which hasn't helped that "empty" feeling that you mentioned Carnation. I've been a mum/housewife for many years now and yes now that the kids are adults/teens I do often ask myself " what next" . If it wasn't for anxiety maybe I would venture out and try some new things. But when you feel crappy from anxiety and hormones it's easier to become a hermit. I do paint a little and make jewellery. I'm definitely not someone that's ever been into fashion etc...I tend to live in yoga pants and a tshirt. All about comfort here :D. I remember my grandma always wanted to dress in a nice button up blouse and pretty pants even when she was really old and with shaky hands from Parkinsons she'd still always want the button up blouse. I don't remember ever seeing her in a simple tshirt. I guess we are all different like that. Same with my hair. I've never dyed it, embrace my grey streaks. I actually like them. They are free hi-lights haha.
Alpacagirl, could you message me, please? I also make jewellery and I'd love to chat and swap ideas.
Grey is the new hair colour trend Alpacagirl :yesyes:
Yes, I agree, anxiety does hold you back to a certain extent but never say never and there's still loads of things you can still do. It's great you have a couple of hobbies.
I've got into home cooking more with the added plus of knowing what ingredients are going in to the food I eat.
Red meat is needed in my opinion for that iron and occasional consumption would not make too much of a difference to your cholesterol. After all your doctor has suggested it. You also get iron from dark leafy greens. Years ago they used to give a new mother Guinness in hospital, lol. I wouldn't suggest drinking if you have anxiety but you could eat or make a stout pie with red meat. I always feel more energised after eating red meat. One of my favourites is braised steak in a rich gravy of onions, carrots and mash potato. Easy to do in a slow cooker or a low heat for a lengthy amount time in the oven if you are staying in on a rainy day. And the smell is so inviting.
Otherwise if you don't fancy cooking a roast, a stir fry with beef strips. Lol, I'm making myself hungry now.
I've got to say I enjoy my food more now than I was younger. It was always food on the go, sometimes working as I ate or a short lunch break.
We have to think of the positives as much as we can.
alpacagirl
12-12-23, 11:52
Yes it was more of a joke when I said it to my doctor. My cholesterol has always been slightly high but my good cholesterol is high and I have no other risk factors, too low blood pressure if anything etc. So I'm not really concerned. My mum is lean and very healthy and hers is high. I think it's genetic. We are lucky in Australia to have a lot of nice grass fed beef and lamb etc. I'd just switched to more of a mediterranean type diet when I had gastritis and my silent reflux stuff going on. I too love to make a lot of stir fry or slow cooker stews/soups/curries etc. Anything that's quick and easy to prepare really. Bulk it all up with beans and lots of vegies. I've started having beetroot juice as that's a good source of iron. I remember my mum bringing it over after I had my first baby and was low on iron. Even after a week of upping my meat and juicing as well as snacking on dried apricots etc I do feel a little better. Got my period this weekend though so it'll be a bit of 2 steps forward 1 step back for a while I guess. Blue Iris, I had turned my private messaging off a while back because I felt a bit weird receiving messages from people. I don't make anything fancy. Mostly just use cute animal charms and beads to make metal bookmarks, keyrings etc. I do make some basic wire wrap earrings just using the herringbone style wrap. That's about as intricate as it gets haha. I've tried trickier wire work before but would lose patience LOL.
Really frustrated with myself; day 6 of my period, I just filled a pad and I'm having a panic attack over it. Not sure whether it's peri or just a stressful few months, but my anxiety is off the charts these days and I feel so helpless.
Alpacagirl, that sounds gorgeous! I do lots of stuff with beads, but wirework is beyond me.
BlueIris, 6 days isn't anything to worry about. :hugs:
Alpacagirl, I didn't know that about beetroot juice. I know it's good for the throat if its sore.
Your crafting sounds great. :)
Thanks, Carnation, I'm just super fragile lately. :hugs:
I know you are BlueIris. Trust your body to do its thing, its an amazing piece of equipment. x
alpacagirl
13-12-23, 03:43
Hugs Blue Iris. I know how you feel. Mine gets heavy too and I was so stressed about getting it this time because my iron was already so low. I've been feeling off balance hormonal dizzy and then I'll overthink that I look pale etc..Ugh. Which are both anxiety symptoms too and I've always been prone to both of those even before my iron dropped LOL. But yeah the anxious brain clings to anything it can freak out over when you are already feeling a bit run down and vulnerable. I keep telling myself " hey you still walked the dog fine this morning" etc...so I'm ok ! My period will often have a heavy day towards the end. It will often pretty much stop for 24hrs around day 4 and then say " I'm not done yet!!" and do it's last hurrah! with a heavy hour or two and then switch off again. All totally normal and due to our wonky middle aged lady hormones. What other hobbies do you ladies have ? My jewellery and art keeps me pretty busy ( I sell it online for a bit of extra pocket money to support the beading habit and pay for a bit of hay etc), I also love reading a good novel - Clive Cussler, Stephen King, Kathy Reichs, Janet Evanovich...good easy reads that really get your attention though haha. Especially the creepy ones. I'm learning French on DuoLingo app too.
Well ladies it's been awhile, Yes Carnation my sex drive has gone down,I have facial hair, I get irritated easily, I have more silver in my hair. I haven't had a period in almost nine months now. I thought I was going to start, had the cramping and some discharge, and couldn't stop eating, was crying for no reason and then getting irritated, If I don't have a period by march fourth It will be a year and then in April I can totally say I am done. I hope it's all done for me. My poor aunt went 11 months and three weeks and she was like one more week to go and I can say I am done, she started at the start of that week and had to start the count over again.
Another symptom to take count of ladies, as your hormones go out of wack you can also have blurry vision until the hormones sort themselves out again, and burning mouth feeling and dry mouth, bleeding gums, sensitive teeth.
I did about a year of Polish on Duolingo before the constant reminders started tweaking my anxiety too much. I watch a lot of films, plus I like to potter in the kitchen and go for nature walks.
Alpacagirl, I play the piano (well I make a noise). I love gardening. I cook when I'm in the mood (I did this for a living for a while so it sort of took the shine of it away after cooking for 200+). I enjoy watching a good film.
I also rescue old jewellery and repair.
I've been doing Tai Chi for about 3 months now and find it much easier than yoga.
I like to go antique hunting. Reading. And I draw and paint,particularly bees and flowers.
I would love to take up pottery and make my own clothes but both need a massive amount of space which we haven't got.
Hi PK,
Yes, the blurry vision has us all rushing to the opticians.
And I had the burning mouth (the tongue), wondered what that was all about.
That downstairs area becomes under lock and key and you replace a thrill with a chocolate and cakes and a good book and if a pet owner, a cuddle with your fur baby. :D
Hi Carnation, yes I have a new almost five month old kitten, a month ago I had to put my nine year old cat down, his kidneys failed we did all we could but he couldn't be saved. I was so heartbroken, it's been a rough year for me, losing a friend on June 6th, then losing my mom, and then five months later my cat. I love a good book, I am into reading thrillers and nibbling on chocolate. I used to laugh at all the stuff my grandma and mom kept on their night table, and now I am doing the same thing, tissue, lotion, water bottle filled with water, peppermint capsules for when my acid reflux acts up, aspirin, cream for when my joints hurt, flashlight, peppermints to suck on for dry mouth and a book.
You have had a sad year PK :hugs:
So pleased you got yourself a kitty :)
alpacagirl
14-12-23, 09:25
BlueIris those Duolingo notifications can be a bit excessive ...I had to turn them off. I'm on a 240 day streak at the moment woohoo LOL. I just do it to keep the brain happy. I used to do a lot of crossword puzzle magazines.
Carnation we have a lot of similar interests. I love my vegie garden, not an overly green thumb though but I keep trying haha. I paint mostly animals. Birds, cats and dogs but will give anything furry a crack. I used to paint all the time but now it's a lot more sporadic. My mum has done Tai Chi for many years. I think it's really helped her in old age. She has great balance etc.
PK - I'm glad you have a kitty to help heal your heart. Cats are the best. Sorry for all your loss, it's awful when all that grief comes at once.
Thought I'd join in. I'm 56, still in perimenopuse and my anxiety has definitely got worse, especially health anxiety. I think the knowledge that I'm statistically more likely to get something nasty as I age doesn't help (I've read they call the 50s "sniper alley"). I also worry about the health of others, especially my son & my cat! I have a growing list of 24 medical issues I've worried or am worried about. None of them (so far) have ever amounted to anything, but still I worry and as I stop worrying about one issue a new one comes to take its place. I'm fit and healthy and exercise regularly (I'm sure that's what has stopped me from going completely mad). The only medical issue I have is fibroids, the investigations for which triggered my health anxiety in the first place. I'm currently awaiting the results of my latest scan for this and am panicking they'll find something more serious this time, especially as I've just discovered what is probably a cyst on my cervix (item 24 on the ongoing list) but what if?? I also have a probable ganglion cyst on my hand that I need to get checked (item 23). I also have awful brain fog and memory issues, probably because I'm so distracted by all the worrying. It's relentless....
Ganglion cysts are harmless, promise, no need to worry about them.
Hopefully that's what it is. I think it might be caused by lifting weights as part of my work outs (had something similar on my finger a couple of years ago which disappeared before I had a chance to get checked).
Welcome Dobbiedoo,
I agree with BlueIris. I've had them on my hands and feet many times nothing to worry about.
I've had one on my wrist for as long as I can remember, I spent ages thinking it was normal human anatomy.
Same with my foot BlueIris.
THank you Carn and everyone for the well wishes on the new kitty and the losses I have had this year, it means a lot to me. , he is so adorable, 5945 this is him, Mozzie, he is five months old now, okay ladies I have a question, Sorry if TMI, but the last few days my nipples have been so sore and sensitive always hard. I don't wear a bra, only when I have to go out and a wireless one at that, I am about to turn 51 and haven't had a period since March so I am hoping I am in the final countdown to having all this over with, is it normal during peri for the nipples to be hard for days and sore . I just had my first hot flash. I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, and will have a good New Year, I didn't celebrate this year, I wasn't in the mood.
Your kitty is so gorgeous, and those ears!!!
I would think if you don't wear a bra that your clothing could be rubbing and causing the soreness. Also the breasts change slightly as you age. Nothing drastic. Maybe some dryness and the muscles are not so tight.
Hormone change can also have an effect on change. Try to wear natural fibres in tops.
5946 (taken just two days ago) I've not worn a bra for years, and this is the first time, that I have had this. I wear nothing but cotton tops. My boobs have never been perky, (thanks mom, I inherited my boobs from her LOL) I am guessing hormones, and yeah it could be some friction, thank you Carn for answering my question. Thank you for saying my kitty is gorgeous, I know his ears are so sweet, he is a big ham, I get out my camera to take a picture of him when he is sleeping and he seems to know and he will open his eyes, sit up and do that pose in the picture in my last post.5947 (at five months old)5948 The day we got him, at three months old
PK, I stopped wearing a bra for a number of years because I kept getting a stabbing pain under my left breast /rib cage. First I ditched the wired bra, then after trying the unwired bra and still getting the pain come from time to time I went bra less. But when I injured my shoulder I turned to what I describe as a vest bra and been using ever since. It gives support without hurting or digging in. I also found that my original size was far too small so it's always a good idea to remeasure yourself later in life especially when menopause can cause extra weight gain.
He's a real cutie PR and I expect up to lots of mischief.
My cat is 14 and still managed to pull the Christmas tree down, lol. Your cat has a lovely heart-shaped face, so sweet. xx
Hi Carn, my monthly is coming on after not having one for almost ten months, ugh menopause is the worse, that's why my nipples were doing that, also I wear those bras that you are wearing now, If I go out in public otherwise I wear none at all. Bras, my doctor told me actually weaken the chest muscles, and that is what partly causes breasts to sag. ladies now I am not sure if and when this dang period is going to start having all the symptoms and even spotting some, when I wipe faint pinkish smear o the paper, but nothing in my pants, I'll wipe again and a few spots of blood, I had this before at least two times, I just want this whole mess overwith. Carn thank you for the kind words about my boy, yes he gets into a lot of mischief, you're right he does have a heart shaped face. Awwww your kitty just wanted to help with the tree LOL. Wow 14! May he or she have a lot more years.
Hi PK, it's probably a release from all the stress you've been under. If you have the usual period symptoms that go along with it and everything else is normal. Have a word with your GP if it will put your mind at rest.
Fluffycactus
07-01-24, 17:55
Hi. I’d love to join in.
I’m 14 years post menopause and apart from vaginal atrophy, haven’t really suffered with menopause symptoms. But I can tell you all about VA btw!
I would like to blame my anxiety on the menopause and be miraculously cured with hrt, but it started way before any of that.
Just returned after many years not posting and look forward to some support as well as supporting others if I can. Noticed there are often no replies or very few on the female issues section. Maybe we can change that.
Welcome Fluffycactus :welcome:
Sick of this now. It's day 4, my usual heavy day, I went to the bathroom and a couple of inch and a half long clots fell out of me. I'm used to clots, but these were huge and sent me straight into panic mode; I rang the GP and asked for somebody, anybody, to call me back.
Spoke to a lovely paramedic who asked lots of questions and eventually said it wasn't anything that needed further investigation for now, but I'm queasy and shaken from the terror of it all.
Let's look at what you've written.......
"it's day 4, my usual heavy day". So clots are not unusual with periods, especially if heavy.
"Spoke to a lovely paramedic who said it wasn't anything that needed further investigating".
Two things that should put your mind at rest but for some reason your thoughts are escalating into something abnormal or nasty.
Try to relax BlueIris and let nature do its thing. :hugs:
You're right. Very tired now, looking forward to getting home.
awww big hug blue I used to get huge big clots when I was younger I mean huge and very heavy flow, nothing came of it other than just a mess.
As a man, while I may not personally experience menopause, I've seen its impact on close family members and friends. It's clear how vital understanding and support are during this time. For instance, my sister experienced several of these symptoms, which were initially dismissed as stress-related. The journey to understanding menopause and its varied symptoms was eye-opening for both of us. It's crucial to have open discussions like these for awareness and support. From my perspective, offering support and a listening ear can make a significant difference. Additionally, finding accurate information and sharing it with those experiencing menopause can be incredibly helpful. This thread is a great initiative for sharing experiences and coping strategies, and I look forward to learning more to support the women in my life better.
Thank you for your post golovac and sensitive writing.
Although the thread is for 'Women of a certain Age'.
I'm sure you will be aware of the sensitivity of some of the topics and the ladies courage to speak up about them. And as much as it is endearing to read your post, I think your presence may unnerve some of the women.
In the nicest possible way it would be appropriate for you to refrain from joining in.
I'm hopeful you will understand this request.
Thank you for your support.
Agreeing with Carnation here, Golovac, I'm sorry; I (and others) have posted very intimate stuff in here and while nothing on the internet is private, it's a bit uncomfortable to think of men reading.
How are you today BlueIris?
A bit on edge and feeling as though I'm waiting for bad things to happen, Carnation, but it's gradually subsiding.
Remember it's just thoughts. Easy to say I know.
But others experience the exact same thing as you so that must tell you something.
alpacagirl
10-01-24, 05:24
Hugs BlueIris, I know how physically and mentally draining heavy periods are. Mine hasn't arrived yet...I've been on a 25 day cycle for the past few and now it's day 31 and yeah I know it's normal during perimenopause but my mind still worries. I like things being predictable and never really been a fan of change but menopause is all about change so I better get used to it. Also after having had a few 42 day cycles a few years back and how horribly heavy they were ( like 2 for 1 deal) I guess that's playing on my mind too. My gut has still been all over the place with nausea etc. I'm hanging out for the day I feel somewhat normal again.
I'm the same, AG, I freak out over every minor change. This last period was perfectly normal right down to the heavy "last hurrah", just... giant clots. And the problem is that once you're in your 40s, every tiny change is both normal for peri and a potential cancer symptom.
Hugs right back to you, here's to it all being done.
alpacagirl
10-01-24, 07:32
Yes I'm trying hard to keep my health anxiety at bay. But with digestive issue since before Christmas again, lower backpain, ovaries cramping etc..it's hard! I mentioned it to my GP when I went to have my iron checked but she just put it all down to perimenopause. People don't really go to gyno's regularly here (unless there's some issue that the GP refers you for) so it's not an area that's really monitored. I think the last time I had a scan was when I was pregnant with my daughter 17 years ago. My mum said she had a lot of ovarian pain when she went through menopause, enough to actually make her go and have a scan because she was worried ( and my mum never goes to the doctor LOL). It was all normal. I guess there's a lot that goes on down there when everything is winding down. I've been painting every day, that's helping with my anxiety at least. I forgot how much of a "medicine" it is for me. Mind can't wander when you are super focused on every little brushstroke. I'm glad there is others on here who understand this whole life stage.
It's the same here, I don't have kids so I've never had a scan.
Okay, so, so far this morning I've convinced myself that I have anaemia, and then talked myself out of it. I suppose that's probably a victory?
It's a roller-coaster BI when you get on the ride.
Alpacagirl, painting is so relaxing, I'm pleased you have taken that up again. Are you still doing your beading BI?
I am, Carnation, yes. I beaded a miniature cactus over the holidays, plus a rainbow-coloured owl for a colleague. Currently doing some abstract geometric stuff.
On another subject...
Any ladies suffering with dry hair?
Ive tried different shampoos, stayed away from heated appliances to see if it makes any difference, and no, it doesn't. Used finishing creams and all sorts.
But still the hair is dry.
What's your hair texture like? I can offer recommendations for dry, curly hair.
I have dry, curly hair BI.
Humidity causes frizz too.
Have a look at the As I Am range? Their Curl Clarity shampoo and leave-in conditioner are great, and their Cocoshea spray smells wonderful.
Thanks BI. I'll take a look x
Hi Carn, your hair may need a deep condition and a hair mask, trying using a soft cotton t-shirt to wrap your hair in after a wash it's much better than using a towel. Heat is very bad for hair and will damage and dry it out, also you could add an egg to a bottle with some shampoo and wash your hair with that, I know it sounds strange but that is what I do once a week and my hair is shiny and healthy at 50 years old. You can also take some vitamin e oil and put a few drops in the palm of your hand and run over your hair and run your fingers through your hair in a combing manner to work in the oil especially on the scalp.
Thanks PK.
Washing it seems to be drying it out more so maybe I'm using the wrong products.
Being indoors doesn't help it because of the heating and dry air.
Fluffycactus
11-01-24, 10:06
Well ladies not exactly a womens issue as such but I have just lied to my mother about not being able to visit her today because I feel awful but do not want her to worry about me. Told her I had to work but in truth I am at home feeling anxious and trying to sort myself out.
I am also planning excuses for upcoming meet ups with friends because I do not want to go and pretend to be happy. It is hard enough going to work and going through an act.
I do have health anxiety but this is concentrated on my adult children just lately. My daughter is waiting for test results and I am in such a state. She is ok about it though, it is just me being ridiculous.
I am in a never ending cycle of anxiousness which comes and goes. I will get over one thing, or the situation will resolve, and I am happy as can be for a while, even many months, then bham, the next thing happens and I spiral again.
15 years post menopause and I am worse than ever.
Aww, I can understand the excuses.
If, you were caught out or slip up about the excuse you made, you can then explain why you did it and I'm sure she will understand. Have you ever wondered if your mum has done that to you for exactly the same reason? I know my mum did. Little white lies are sometimes helpful to protect others. And of course you are going to be worried about your daughter, it's only natural. Try not to bash yourself up over this because you sound like a very kind and caring person to me. :hugs:
Fluffycactus
11-01-24, 10:24
Thank you Carnation. Yes my mum probably has.
I have really taken a nose dive this past week and I’m worried sick about my daughter. And of course I will keep that from her as well.
Best wishes to you, Fluffy.
I was actually honest with my boss about not wanting to go to a trade show in London in a couple of weeks. It wasn’t an essential thing, and last year a packed Excel centre was tough for me even on a good mental health day.
Fluffycactus
18-01-24, 09:04
I’m supposed to be going out with a few friends tomorrow night but I’m already planning my excuses not to go. Which fake illness is it going to be?
I’m sure they’d be fine if I was just truthful but it’s this thing I’ve got in my head about not wanting anyone to feel sorry for me.
Or do I go along and pretend? And probably drink more than I should and feel worse for it?
Maybe go along but set a time limit? That's my regular strategy. Go with a reason to only stay an hour or two, then if you're having fun make a fake cancellation call so you can stay.
I tend to be honest these days about not wanting to attend something. And there are a number of reasonable excuses in my book...
I don't like travelling home in the dark..
I go to bed these days ..
The roads are too icy for driving...
I don't drink alcohol anymore (if its a pub invitation)
I don't really go out in the evening anymore...
They are all real excuses and mention nothing about Anxiety.
Fluffycactus
19-01-24, 07:14
I don’t think I can go I my current state of mind. It’s a music gig and I’m not in the mood to be all jolly and enthusiastic. My friends know something is up and I don’t want to spoil their night and I will definitely drink too much which will make me worse tomorrow.
If it wasn’t already booked I would just say I didn’t want to go Carnation.
Fluffy You don't have to go...if you aren't up for it, just tell them right now you are doing what is best for you and that you can't go out, that you are struggling, be open with them, if they are true friends they will understand.
Stop pleasing other people fluffy and do what's right for you. You've already made up your mind that you are not going to enjoy it. So it's people pleasing. As BI says, if you go you can always leave early. True friends will understand.
Fluffycactus
19-01-24, 16:51
Thanks. Told them I’m not feeling right so am not going.
How's everyone doing?
I found another menopause symptom. So many!
The sudden onset that you feel like you are walking on a stone or your bone feels out of place.
I thought it might be an arthritic thing but found out it could be another menopausal symptom.
Loss of the fatty pad can be really painful. Cushion insoles!
Yes, it can catkins. You actually feel every bump and uneven surface.
YorkieKaren70
26-01-24, 19:59
I had my only child age 33 and have never been right since. Always been in antidepressants and sleeping pills, Benzos. Admitted to a psychiatric hospital in 2016. Became Agoraphobic during Covid and though my meds really helped my indoor anxiety during this time, I missed my first 3 menstrual cycles, but had one on 2nd January. Since then, my anxiety is back with a vengeance and I am sleeping 3 hours a night, waking up panic ridden. I had forgotten just how awful and terrifying it is. Decided to nip it in the bud and started Hrt conti 2 days ago. I realise, It's going to be a long rough road and I know it's my age and hormones. I knew I'd have a rough time because I struggled in my teens and with pregnancy, but honestly, I was hoping because I am on 3 lots of meds, I might also find this transition easier. But I feel like I'm in hell again! Partner being an absolute arse hole today screaming at me!
I'm on HRT and it really helps me, it isn't a cure all but it makes things a heck of a lot easier. It's a slow build up so does take a while to get the full effect.
This is what my life has come to: my period arrived this morning after a perfect 28 days - shorter than I've often been, but things have been trending that way lately. I'm now having a murderous panic attack because...
What if it lasts forever again?
What if I get giant clots this month again?
Feeling sick, shaky, unable to focus but mostly really annoyed with myself.
It doesn't last forever BI.
Giant clots? They may seem that way but it truthfully is just the gunk your body rids during a monthly cycle. It's in no way a danger to the rest of your body as it comes from your womb. You are panicking from a memory perspective. 28 days couldn't be more spot on.
You've also got to stop constantly checking and just let it run it's natural course.
Maybe when you feel your mind escalating is a time to throw yourself into something that takes your concentration fully. Eventually if you keep doing this the brain will come to realise there is no need for any panic or worry. :hugs:
Right, yes. I have plenty of work to be getting on with, so I've switched tasks to something that requires focus rather than creativity.
Do you have any elastic bands in that office?
Put one on your wrist and thwack it when the thoughts start spiralling and carry on with your task xxx
alpacagirl
05-02-24, 11:15
BI I'm the same :blush:. Whenever it arrives my brain starts to go " ok great, what's it got in store this time" haha. But each time I also tell myself it's one less to go through and one day there will be no more. Hooray. Last one was a 37 day cycle, this time it arrived on day 20. Never had one that close. I'm seeing the dentist tomorrow and thought it wouldn't arrive until the end of the week at the earliest :wacko:. But really I don't know why it bothers me, not like I'm running a marathon, I just have to lie in a chair for a while :roflmao:.
tina oreilly1
05-02-24, 11:19
im 61 and i went through all those symptoms, i still wake up sweating and feel sick in the morning
Hi Tina, how are you feeling today? Let me know if you want to chat via DM. I saw your message earlier but it had been about for a while.
Today i got my period and am having cramps, which i never usually get, and i feel so unbelievably anxious. It’s almost unbearable….. and i don’t even fully know why! I am just hyperaware of anything pelvic at the moment. It is my worry-area. I recently had pelvic MRI to try to put my mind at ease. It didn’t! Im 47. Xx Sending love to fellow sufferers
Oh, Jojo! I've had a whole-period panic this month, I'm on day 5 and I'm still in a state of terror after the Clots of Doom last month. Today is a month to the day after the incident; I've had some minor clotting but I keep on waiting for the other shoe (clot) to drop or for the whole mess to last a fortnight. I honestly can't tell whether the cramps are cramps or IBS.
Me neither! I can’t tell if what i am feeling is back spasm, bowel spasm or period cramps. It’s all bound together in one horrible tunnel of doooom!
Terrifying, isn't it? Also not conducive to productivity at work.
Yep. And nope!
Maybe we should distract ourselves with thoughts of food?!
Sure! What are you having for dinner tonight?
I'm hopefully having potato and cheese pierogi with chopped bacon and a sauce made from soured cream and ajvar (Czech aubergine and pepper condiment).
Yours sounds so much nicer than mine! Im making spag bol because husband and kids like it. But i am vege so will just have spag, with roast courgettes and onions. Cheesecake for pudding though!
What's that sudden pain under the breastbone which apparently can be a menopausal symptom.
Strange, always thought it was anxiety related or wind. :shrug:
I assumed that was heartburn??
I'm not sure if it is. It's more like a cramp. :shrug:
Mmmm. Like an anxiety tightening?? Is this a menopause symptom? How old are you carnation? Im 47… and getting all sorts of weird things. Not to mention a massive uptick in anxiety!!
Yeah, it could be described as a tightening /squeezing. It can happen when I'm not even doing anything.
I've been studying menopausal symptoms for some time and this symptom cropped up.
I'm post menopausal (I prefer not to say my exact age for privacy reasons but I'm years older than yourself).
I thought I was, finished with the change but I'm still having some of the symptoms. A lot of the symptoms are similar to Anxiety, including anxiety itself.
The crawling on the legs, skin itching hot flushes waves of fatigue, feeling tearful for no particular reason, loss of patience, weight gain. The list goes on and on.
If a doctor tells you it's only up to a couple of years, don't believe it, it can go on for yonks. I don't miss the time of the month, that's for sure, but your body still goes through a bit of a monthly cycle minus the cramping and bleeding. It's more a feeling, it's hard to describe.
Are you pre menopause jojo?
Yes i am. My periods are still very regular, and i haven’t had any hot flashes yet. But i am having huge emotional symptoms! ALL of the ones you listed. It so exhausting
If I remember rightly I got the emotional stuff first.
Tearful, lack of patience / short fused, sudden impulses, fatigue, fear.
Yes yes yes to all the above!!
It's understanding why you are like that, I didn't at the time. I mean, no one teaches you about menopause and my mum didn't speak about it. Doctors don't tell you that you might be pre-menopausal.
I remember waiting in a queue at a sandwich bar for a take and someone pushed in (which is quite common) and I walked out and burst into tears. I felt so silly because the owner noticed and came out to me. When I explained it felt so menial to be in such a state.
There was a plus though, because every time I went in they made sure I was served promptly.
YoullNeverWalkAlone
11-02-24, 15:36
Another symptom that can arise post meno is varicose veins, something to do with the loss of hormones, probably the reason varicose veins are more common in women than men...
Ive got one after menopause some years back, but it seems to be getting bigger in length as I get older, don’t know if any of you ladies have these, if you have, do you know if they can they cause aching and give you jip....
When I was going through the menopause I found a good site, not unlike this site but for menopause....It’s called...
Menopause Matters, maybe worth taking a look for you newbies to the menopause, I found it helpful back then, don’t know what it’s like now.
I've not got them YNWA but my o/h has and No, they don't give him any issues.
I know what you are thinking, your leg issue. Well, it's not. Stop overthinking. :shades:
Thanks for the menopause recommendation, there's certainly a lot of issues on the subject.
YoullNeverWalkAlone
11-02-24, 17:45
Lol...I knew you’d think that Carnation but honestly it hasn’t anything to do with other issue, I never knew they could come after menopause, I knew about pregnancy and nurses are more susceptible to them, I do get aching in mine and just wondered if it was common to do so....
If they can come after menopause because of the lack of hormones, then why are they more common in women then men if they don’t have those hormones to start with....strange....
Anyway, I hope that site is as good as it used to be and helps somebody x
alpacagirl
13-02-24, 06:06
YKWA I often browse the Menopause Matters Forum. It's nice to read about others experiences and you feel like what you are going through is "normal". I don't post on there but it's great to read through when some new perimenopause symptom pops up for me.
Hormones play havoc with our emotions.
Getting upset is very natural going through the menopause. The simplest of events, tasks, situations can turn the tap on and sometimes nothing at all, the tears just come and you wonder why.
I've been having to create learning materials about people's experiences in the Ukrainian conflict this week. Been sat sobbing at my desk.
Oh no, that will definitely get you going Blueiris.
I try to avoid certain topics on the TV because of that otherwise I'd be a mess. Even adverts can get to me.
We try to watch something light or fantasy just before bedtime. At the moment we are working our way through Deep Space Nine, and it's so good.
I'm a sucker for a film based on a true story though and that normally gets me.
DS9 is the best Star Trek, but if you don't mind cartoons Lower Decks comes a very close second.
I think so Blueiris. I love the background music as well, so relaxing. It's really film quality. I'll take a look at Lower Decks. Got to say I've never heard of it. Mr C likes Family
Guy, it's quite good.
Diet changes due to change of taste....Anyone find they seek more flavour? Eat things they wouldn't have entertained before? More sweet things? More savoury? Bigger helpings? Or smaller portions?
I eat a lot of things now that I wouldn't touch right up into my 40s. Hated rhubarb (my absolute favourite now), hated strawberries (still wary of them but admit they're delicious), hated broad beans (often use the frozen ones for my noodle bowl lunches now). Three or four years ago I wouldn't touch anything with visible egg; I still wouldn't eat it without lots of extra flavourings but my current favourite place for lunch sells kottu, a sort of stir fry made of fiery curry, chips of bread and scrambled egg, and it's probably the most comforting thing I ever ate.
Me too Blueiris, with the rhubarb. Still can't do broad beans. But I eat far more vegetables now.
Off gone off baked beans and bananas.
Ugh I haven't had a period since Jan, and today I am feeling crampy in my lower belly area and feel pressure and my right ovary feels heavy, and I can't seem to stay away from the bathroom, very loose stool, haven't had a loose stool flare up in a couple of months, I just want this to be over...I am 51 dang it. I am having slight cold chills.
Heat on the tummy helps PK. It might be a too warm for a hot water bottle but just placing a cushion on the tummy area will give a little comfort.
Thank you Carn, It died down was having normal few weeks and bam right back to where I still haven't had my time of the month, now I am having an IBS flare up, ugh no pain just going to the bathroom more frequently and ovary pain. Much like my last post.
Hi everyone
I am 52 and haven’t had a period for coming up to two years, but a lot of times I still feel like I have PMT and like I’m about to ‘come on’. Does anyone else experience this? Also I still get hot flushes (not horrendous, but just feel suddenly hot). Also have terrible stiff, achy joints when I get up after a period of inactivity. I suddenly feel ‘old’.
Also, can’t believe how fast time goes past. I was in my thirties when I started posting on here ��
Yes, you can still feel the cycle symptoms with no period. For me, certainly. I suppose the body gets used to the cycle and also the hormones are still in play.
I certainly still feel ‘hormonal’. Yes, I’m sure you’re right that the body is used to the cycle and when it suddenly stops, things don’t feel right.
glassgirlw
27-05-24, 02:12
The last couple of months I’ve developed a new peri symptom (to me) - increased hormonal related acne. So annoying. I look like a teenager with how bad the breakouts are on my chin and around my nose. UGH. Tried everything - changing makeup, face washes, increasing water intake, reducing sugar - nothing seems to help. I’ve researched and it really is a thing for many women going through peri.
glassgirlw, rather than try things on the outer body, try within. Look up foods that can help.
I went through this and thought "what? Where's all this coming from?" Eat as much natural foods as possible, alkaline foods, fish and if not a vegetarian, meat.
glassgirlw
29-05-24, 13:35
Yeah I’ve started trying to make dietary changes too but I changed all that when I started losing weight two years ago. I eat fairly clean already. I’ve read dairy can be a trigger so I may start reducing some of that next. So frustrating!!
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