View Full Version : Bad patch
Admins, if this thread needs merging, could you keep this as the main one, please? I think it's probably different enough to be separate from my first one, but I know these things exist on a continuum.
For the first time in years, I find myself anxious most of the time to the point of irrationality. It's been coming for a good week or so, and I'm currently at the point where I can't see a way out. Could be seasonal, could be hormones, could be stress, I have no clue. Everything's making me nervous to outright panicky, though, and I can't trust myself to be rational any more. I don't really want to go out, and the thought of work fills me with dread.
I'm petrified of redundancy, of my financial situation, and every so often I'm getting little niggling twitches of health ancoety that I'm trying my best to squash. My parents' phone has been engaged for the past 3 hours, which could mean thstit's broken or could mean that something awful has happened to one of them - out of all my fears, this is the one that's not that irrational. My husband got up late and had breakfast and so didn't want lunch today, and there's just that tiny niggle that it's a cancer thing even though he's now cooking dinner early because he's hungry.
I just can't shake the feeling that something awful is going to happen. It has, of course, I'm having an anxiety flare-up, but... you know.
Can't bring myself to meditate even though I know it will help, and I'm not quite ready to up my meds just yet.
The aim with this thread is to try and prove that it's possible to maintain some shreds of a normal life whilst dealing with persistent and fairly severe anxiety (I call it that because I'm back at the point where I'm constantly hearing voices telling me to off myself).
Wish me luck, and come with me on this journey?
Good idea, Blue.
I think with the state of everything - rising costs, political turmoil, health concerns - it would not at all be surprising that we'd collectively struggle. I can identify incredibly well with your post, from the financial concerns (every time a new expense comes around the corner I panic) to the rise in HA and just to worrying relentlessly about the people around me. It feels out of control. Lots of things feel rather hopeless too, as getting excited about anything seems fruitless and I feel so far behind everyone else in life.
There is a way out, Blue, as we all know since we've been here and gotten to the other side before. But it surely doesn't feel that way in the thick of it, does it?
Hugs. I hope you have a bit of a better week. :hugs:
Thanks, Poppy.
Parents are okay, at least.
Absolutely will come Blue :hugs:
These irrational thoughts of doom and distraction are well known to us all. For me the one about your husband getting up late, eating breakfast and not wanting dinner. So off your minds runs to cancer. I’ve had that one….still do for a lot of the time. And if you dare voice it, they look at you as if you’re mad. You are not alone in this, we all can testify to that.
one day you will write a post about how much better you feel. I know you don’t think so now but you will honestly. Anxiety is having a field day whispering in your ear but you are stronger and you will prove it.
Keep safe,
xxxxxxxxxx
You are so bright BlueIris, you know its a bad patch, that's why you chose that as your heading.
Patches are temporary, you know that too.
Do you need to know the reason?
I think it's best to ride the wave until you come out the other side.
And yes, you can have some normality while all the sh ite is happening around you.
During my worst patches I moved house (3 times), was carer to my parents and dealt with both of their funerals.
Somehow you manage to cope with it all.
So, you can't get into the meditation zone, I understand that. So just try to focus on the positives.
You have a wonderful partner...
You have a home...
You have a worthwhile job...
You don't have a serious illness..
You have food on the table..
You have support on here...
Do these affirmations before you go to sleep.
I had that phone situation with my mum and after the one hour drive to the house, she'd only left the phone off the hook by mistake. So infuriating but these sort of things happen. It just seems a case of "oh no, not more worry and grief".
And yes, hormonal changes can be very difficult to accept and deal with. But you get through all of it. Even the most difficult of days there will be moments of peace and sometimes joy.
You just have to ride the wave. :hugs:
Carnation, I'm in awe of your strength, you should be so proud of yourself.
Thanks for the tip about gratitude, that's going to be a good strategy for when the anxiety starts rising again.
Today I am mostly grateful to the cat, for making me laugh by deciding that the living room bin is her new bed.
5934
Dear BlueIris,
Almost 100 % same here, I swear to God! It has been creeping slowly for the past month or so, but now it is beyond any reason, or any control.
I totally understand you, and I am not going to hijack your thread with my situation, but will just add that, with that small part of reason left in me, I also thought it may be changing seasons, as well. So maybe we are onto something here.
I am also , beside severe HA, falling bad into horrible sadness and depression. I have no wish or joy to do anything I usually would like, I am scared, and developed new physical symptoms ( over-salivating, for example, it is scaring me and also bothering me a lot). I would like to help, so maybe just the fact that there are more of us feeling much worse at this point, may be a sort of comfort to you, as your post was comfort to me. Do not get me wrong, I am very sorry that you are feeling that way, but I see I am not alone. I also do not know where to turn at this point, but cannot go on like this. PM me if you wish. Sending you hugs. xoxo (p.s. We also have a cat which is always good to look at and hug).
Just to add thanks to Carnation's post, helped me too. I also cared for my dying mother and buried her not long ago, and cry so often about her, and miss her.
Thank you BlueIris x
Strength comes from suffering and not giving in.
I do affirmations before I sleep and they help with morning anxiety.
I love the photo. Lol.
Your cat has the most gorgeous eyes. Beautiful! :)
Lana, thank you x
With the possibility of setting off the tears, I want to say it's ok to cry. It has a calming affect on the body.
You will always miss your mum no matter how long it's been. But it does get easier to accept and the best thing you can do to honour your mum is by living your life. x
Aw, your kitty is adorable!
I’ll come along with you Blue as well. I think when anxiety reaches a certain pitch, it begins to attach itself to multiple facets of our lives.
Worrying about our loved ones is natural but with us anxiety fixates and forecasts the worst possible outcomes.
I wish you peace and comfort xx
Thank you so much, everyone.
Definitely feeling wary about work today, but realistically that's more about my own emotions than about anything dreadful that might happen. I'm also sort of looking forward to getting back to the rhythm of the tasks I have to do.
Still worried my manager is trying to get rid of me (only partly irrational, this has happened before with this specific manager), but being logical about it, this would create a lot of work for her just on the HR side, even without all the slack she'd have to pick up if I was gone.
I definitely have the odd bad patch and they are horrible. What helps me is posting on here, doing all the anti-anxiety things I normally do and trying to carry on as much as normal. It isn't fun but you will get through it.
You can do this!
I'm often reminded by my other half that issues lie with the other person and not me.
Yesterday I had my head bitten off by a neighbour because I asked why her hubby wasn't helping with the digging. She snapped back at me with a "WHY?" and a super fixed glare and before I could say anything she gave another "WHY?", this time much louder, almost a shout and I thought to myself, "what?" Knowing the couple are very lovey dovey, always walking hand in hand. Mr C said they might have had a row. But I'll never speak to her again. It takes courage for me to be social.
So this boss BlueIris may have had issues that day and you got the brunt of it. As she gave you a lift home she was obviously feeling guilty and so she should.
Why people can't just be polite and professional at work is beyond me. It would make our lives so much more pleasant and productive.
You haven't done anything wrong. Even if you make a mistake, it's human anyway. Be proud of your work and being the better person. And your worth at work is immense. xx
YoullNeverWalkAlone
16-10-23, 09:44
Hi Blue....I’m walking right beside you....
i know exactly how your feeling, I’m going through a bed patch at the moment and can’t seem to catch a break, my nerves are that sensitive, the smallest thing or thought will set it off, as Carnation said a lot of the time it’s other people that do it, some people don’t think what they say or do....
I think we get caught in a loop, we have intrusive thoughts that continually batter our minds, that causes the anxiety to rise, with that comes the symptoms, back come more intrusive thoughts that something bad is going to happen or am I ill, the same thoughts about other people too, it’s like an ocd...the million dollar question is.. how do we break that loop...
and how do we stop those thoughts, obviously you can’t stop a thought, but why do we automatically think those things and what should we do with those thoughts when we get them...try and accept them as silly, they are not real they are only thoughts passings through a tired mind....
You will get through this blue and come out the other side, just like you have done hundreds of times before and all your friends are here to help you do that.
Hope your feeling a little better today, how’s work going this morning xxx:bighug1:
Actually quite enjoying work this morning, I'm a lot better organised than I was last week and can generally relate to people.
Hopefully I can continue in this vein.
That’s brilliant Blue:yesyes:
Things we dreading are often not as bad in reality. It will serve as a good experience to put in the bank. And the normality of work is always good when we are bad. We need to keep things as normal as possible when our heads are telling us things are not normal.
Mrs.C…what a rude neighbour. Yes it’s probably something going on in her life but there’s no need to take it out on someone else.
YoullNeverWalkAlone
16-10-23, 11:14
Glad your enjoying work and it’s turned out better than you anticipated, As Darksky said, sometimes your imagination is worse than reality...xxxx
Darksky, I wondered if it was being 'too sensitive' but Mr C took her as being brash or as you say 'rude'.
YNWA, it must be them and not us, surely?
Even if I feel sh it I never let it show in the outside world.
My problems are not theirs and should be vice versa.
BlueIris, I'm so pleased to hear you are doing ok today.
Normally when you have peaked, the calmness and straight thinking follow.
Did you do those affirmations last night?
I sometimes forget but me reminding you, reminded me. :)
Honestly, Carnation, I'd avoid that neighbour if they were like that to me too - I'd be afraid. And yes, I did the affirmations, I spent specific time thinking about all the things I was grateful for.
Today I solved a work problem I've been trying to sort out for about a year and a half. It wasn't complicated, I'm just not good at social stuff but today I tried something new and it worked beautifully.
You seem on top form today BlueIris :yesyes:
I love affirmations xx
Sparkling_Fairy
16-10-23, 14:12
Sounds like you're having a great day Blue! We take those with both hands don't we :D
I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough patch. It's crazy to me how some members on here can give such good advice and seem to have it all together, and you find out they're struggling just as much! Goes to show you never know what's going on with someone.
Always here if you're having a bad day!
Thank you so much!
This is why I get frustrated with people on here sometimes; the reason I cope is that I've worked hard and gone way beyond my comfort zone and tried more or less everything that might have a chance of working. I didn't want meds for a very long time, until I realised they might stop me feeling so awful (and they do, most of the time).
When you have severe anxiety, you can't trust your gut and you can't afford to have principles.
Aaand blam, we have a staff training day tomorrow and our department (and several others) have a 2-hour meeting with a member of senior management.
Am now trying to convince myself we don't have another round of redundancies coming up.
Don't start guessing BlueIris.
Whatever it is about, it will be a case of 'it is what it is' and once you are more clear about the reason you can then deal with it. xx
I've seen the meeting name. It's not redundancies. I was being an idiot again.
I indulge in fortune telling too. Our fortune telling is always negative too and what do we find… 1) it’s nothing to with what we thought or 2) if it is it’s not any way near as bad. We have to keep reminding ourselves over and over that we are not Mystic Meg.
True darksky.
There you go, you can breathe a sigh of relief BlueIris.
YoullNeverWalkAlone
16-10-23, 20:15
I agree Darksky, I do it a lot....
Blue....how’s your day been and do you feel any better xxx
Definitely feeling better, YNWA. Got a murderous headache but it's not a big deal because my mind feels as though it's working again.
YoullNeverWalkAlone
19-10-23, 09:22
Hi Blue, just checking in to see how your doing now xx
Still sporadically anxious and headachy, but getting there. Had another meeting with the boss, prepped for it adequately and all went well.
How are you?
Still sporadically anxious and headachy, but getting there. Had another meeting with the boss, prepped for it adequately and all went well.
That's good news BI.
At least you've got a bit more peace of mind now.
Thank you, Lenco. Honestly, a lot of this was my own fault, but I can’t always see the signs that these things are coming.
Basically okay, but very tired. Getting big jolts of anxiety on a regular basis, but I'm wrangling them.
Hope you are having some of those Sunday comforts BI. :hugs:
Hello lovely, I’ve been avoiding the forum because I’ve been avoiding anxiety! But I’m sorry to see you’re struggling.
Do you find it’s an October kind of thing? I tend to go downhill in September, and I think many people do.
I like your diary, I hope it’s helping. Sending you love.
Hey, you, how are you doing?
Drop me a line if you want to chat.
Also, yes, it's definitely an October thing.
Hey!
I’m ok. I’m struggling as everyone around me is sick & I don’t deal well with it. But I’m ok. Applied for another job & had an interview, didn’t get it again. I’m quite good on paper, less so I’m person!
Desperately trying to think of something cheery,
Oh, do you have Apple TV? Lessons in chemistry is on there & so far it’s as lovely as the book.
Sounds as though you and I have the same problems with interviews!
I don't have Apple TV, but I'm watching lots of Taskmaster New Zealand, which never fails to make me laugh.
I need to do some prep work, watch lots of YouTube of how to answer questions instead of babbling.
The last few days my OH has had a nasty stomach bug & yesterday my daughter had a fever which is now a fever & a sore throat. I just cope badly when they are ill, it makes me scared.
The world is in bad shape at the moment so it’s not surprising the impact of that starts to trickle into our daily lives.
Of course it isn't surprising.
You know how badly freaked out when I get when my husband is ill, too. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time, let me know if there's anything I can do to help?
You two (Blue Iris and Scass) are out of my mould for sure. I never cope when my family are unwell. Me…I am less bothered by my own ailments but anyone else I catastrophise like I invented it. It’s horrible. There’s lots of elements of anxiety I would love to disappear but this one is surely near the top.:weep:
Same, Darksky. I don't particularly mind if I'm not well, but my husband coughs once and I just bloody know it's lung cancer.
I’m happy to be in good company, but also sorry we’re in it together because it’s a bit crap.
I'm from the mould too!
I'd love to know how to deal with it.
YoullNeverWalkAlone
23-10-23, 18:47
Count me in with that one, I wasn’t always like that, I focused on myself more than anything but now it’s other people too and it doesn’t have to be family, like you say Blue, one cough and it’s worst case scenario..
I don’t know how to deal with it either Carnation xx
So proud of myself right now.
Mr. Iris was working at the college today, so we had lunch together at a cafe, followed by a coffee. Unfortunately, time ran short towards the end and I had to down the coffee. Given that I'd already had a largish meal, it took about five minutes for me to be hit by the mother of all panic attacks. I felt violently nauseous, shaky and my heart was beating out of my chest.
I reminded myself that it was a panic attack and got on with my work, and it faded off within about ten minutes.
Well done BlueIris :yesyes: You are amazing!
Probably downing that coffee so quickly didn't help.
It's really hard to accept feeling bad or accepting the feelings. We've just got to remember that both will pass. x
Necking the coffee was an idiot move, yes. I'm just glad I brought myself down when all I really wanted to do was run around screaming that I was dying.
Hi BlueIris, I'm relating to you. I haven't been on this website for a few years but recently remembered that it helped me before. I don't like sounding like I'm focussing on myself. I'd rather be helping others so I hope that by sharing how I'm feeling on here that it will help others. Life took a massive turn for the worse for us as a family almost as soon as covid began in March 2020. I already take prozac 20mg daily and have thought of upping it but don't want to have to so haven't so far. The list of things that have happened to us is too long and painful to write down here. But, right now I'm having massive anxiety because I'm scared our business isn't going to provide the income we desperately need right now. Last year, after Russia invaded Ukraine, two friends suggested that I stop reading the news because it was upsetting me so much. I think it is Carnation on here who said it's not surprising we are feeling the way we are because of what's going on in the world.
I'm waking up every morning again with a shock and fear and then the adrenaline pumps and I feel scared to face the day. My negativity and fear is really affecting my husband and 14yr old daughter so I need to do something to change myself and my way of thinking.
So sorry you're having a rough time, Namderg. I've been dealing with anxiety and panic for about 30 years now, but it's only the past few years that I've been able to nudge myself out of full-blown panic.
The world's a scary place right now. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help.
YoullNeverWalkAlone
26-10-23, 15:48
Well done Blue, doesn’t it feel good when you actually beat it....
Do you get Dizzy during a panic attack, I do, like passing out feeling and I find that the worst symptom to get control of as when my heads like that I feel out of control, if you know what I mean, but I’m getting better at it...(sometimes :roflmao:xx
I get a little dizziness, but for me the overwhelming symptom is nausea. I'm not in the least emetophobic, but the nausea hits and then I get the overwhelming feeling of being trapped. After that, my heart starts thumping and all I can think about is escaping before I make a fool of myself.
I think it was me Namderg.
They do say by helping others you are helping yourself at the same time. Good for you not following the news.
It's too much if anxiety is high. x
Wow, BlueIris, 30 years! You must be an expert by now. :hugs:
YNWA, I get the 'feeling I'm passing out' and the fuzzy lightheaded head. I used to panic like crazy and although not nice I do my best with just carrying on.
That trapped feeling BlueIris, as you know is the result of fight or flight but I get the freezing, scared to move more.
Claire Weekes quotes that you will normally get the same feelings. It's accepting them and letting them pass. Sounds so easy, no! So BlueIris you should be proud when you push through them. :yesyes:
Thank you so much BlueIris. You've made me think - it must be about 30 years for me too! Hope you are feeling ok today. Today has been a little better for me as our business had a meeting so more to think about and more people so it occupied my brain!
Okay, so I'm on an ovarian cancer panic kick at the moment because of an acidic stomach and a bit of bloating.
Yesterday I wore the pretty black velvet Hallowe'en top I bought a month or two ago, it's quite subtle, just a bit of diamante spiderweb detailing around the neckline and it makes me feel gorgeous.
Went to the bathroom this morning and I noticed a distinct blue-black tinge to my stomach. Oh, no! I thought, although not quite so politely, Internal bleeding!
Or, y'know, dye from the fabric marking my skin, just like I noticed on my arms a bit later. Sigh.
Oh jeez, I was just going to say that, then I read the end of your message. I've had that with jeans, blue legs! :scared15:
Temporarily terrifying, yes. It's a very lovely top, though.
Definitely the Halloween gear Blue. Goodness how anxiety hijacks everything doesn’t it.
Astonishing, yes. I actually nearly fell down the bloody rabies rabbit hole at the weekend when my husband got scratched up by an unfamiliar cat.
Yes, I know how stupid this is.
So sorry you're having a rough time, Namderg. I've been dealing with anxiety and panic for about 30 years now, but it's only the past few years that I've been able to nudge myself out of full-blown panic.
The world's a scary place right now. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help.
I think the world has probably always been a scary place to a certain extent, but many things obviously seem far worse now, not necessarily because they actually are, but largely due to the advent of the Internet, social media, 24/7 rolling news channels and even conventional printed newspapers desperately trying to hype things up in order to shift copies, in spite of them being a steadily dying medium in general.
Media and authorities + keep people scared witless = make money, gain votes, etc.
Astonishing, yes. I actually nearly fell down the bloody rabies rabbit hole at the weekend when my husband got scratched up by an unfamiliar cat.
Yes, I know how stupid this is.
I thought rabies was seldom ever (at most) an issue in this country, though I'm more than willing to be proved otherwise, if at all.
It isn't, although there's a related virus that's occasionally found in bats in the UK, and this was in an area I know to have a bat population.
Not saying my fears weren't stupid, just that the possibility of them being real was billions and billions to one rather than actually zero.
It isn't, although there's a related virus that's occasionally found in bats in the UK, and this was in an area I know to have a bat population.
Not saying my fears weren't stupid, just that the possibility of them being real was billions and billions to one rather than actually zero.
I'm pretty sure someone on here covered the thing about a bat-related virus fairly recently.
Yeah, I know I'm being ludicrous, just not in a great headspace right now.
Sending you a hug BlueIris :hugs:
Thanks, Carnation, means the world.
All thoughts are calamitous aren’t they, when we get to a certain level of sensitisation. I wish we could listen to that corner of our brains that tell us we are being ridiculous. It’s like we are incapable, well I guess we are.
Keep going Blue :hugs:
Thanks, all. Sending hugs right back to anybody in need.
I had an adventure today. It's half-term, there's nobody in and I got stuck behind a locked door. I didn't have my phone on me, either.
Not entirely sure why I didn't freak out - actually, that's not true, I was terrified, but the fear stayed in my mind and didn't reach my body. I found a service lift, rode it down to the ground floor and luckily there was a member of the Estates team who helped me get back to part of the college I knew.
Vaguely surprised that I didn't lose my s**t, but that wouldn't have been terribly helpful, I guess. This does support my theory that it's easier to cope when we don't have a safety net.
I agree with that BlueIris.
You'd think it would be an idle situation for a panic attack but I think your survival mode kicks in and you stay calm to deal with it. It's actually spiralling thoughts that kick off most PAs imo.
Exactly, I had to be logical about it. I could either risk the lift or thump on the locked door until someone came, and the lift seemed like the less embarrassing option.
I think most of our panic and calamity come from imagined, ‘what if’ scenarios. Real life incidents don’t kick off the calamitous thinking as much and we tap into that inner strength we have and just get on with it. Scared yes, that’s human and quite normal. It’s a lesson that we are still in there somewhere.
On the one hand, I'm spotting (probably ovulation) and functioning on 3 hours' sleep (lost track of caffeine consumption) and am currently in a state of mild shock.
On the other hand, I FOILED A PICKPOCKET ON THE BUS TODAY! I knew the kid sat next to me was being weird, so I checked for my phone when he left and when it wasn't there I yelled at the top of my lungs for him to give it back.
He threw it down, the screen is smashed and at 46 years old, I just had to call my dad so that he'd tell me how brave I was, but I still think it counts as a sort of win.
Later on, I shall celebrate with a little cry.
That is brilliant. A very well done indeed. I hope the little s**t will think twice before he tries again. Somehow I doubt it though.
But you stopped him in his tracks. Brilliant and yes you will feel after shocks so expect them but they will pass.
Well done BlueIris and a big hug :bighug1:
It's not a nice experience to have your personal space invaded, let alone almost losing your phone.
You must have scared the living daylights out of him.
And I bet thought of losing your phone was too much to lose. You would need that phone to transfer any photos and contact names. You were not prepared to lose that.
I hope you feel proud of yourself. x
I do. I had a split second to size up the situation and whether it was worth risking that I'd just put it somewhere different, but his behaviour was too suspicious.
I was pickpocketed a few years back and couldn't handle having another phone stolen.
Wonderful husband has contacted a 1-hour repair place conveniently close to a very nice pub, so that's what we're doing today.
Brilliant! You enjoy and have a nice lunch x
YoullNeverWalkAlone
25-11-23, 12:51
Hi Blue, hope you had a nice lunch out and a few drinks..
Sorry about your experience, there are some low life people about xx
Hi Blue, hope you are feeling well. Not trying to hijack your thread, I'm about 30 years in now with my anxiety disorder and despite having felt mostly ok the last 6 months the last few weeks have been pretty horrendous. Sometimes its not clear whats caused it and then as it ramps up it seems to attach itself to certain things which just makes it worse. Some people have said that it is cyclical and you just have to ride it out until you get to the other side and try not to buy into the things that mind is telling you (and catastrophising about) are the causes of it.
I have managed to arrange some counselling which starts Monday evening via zoom to talk through things and talking to like minded folk on here helps also.
This time of year is tough but as you say "bad patch" we've all been through it hundreds of times before and come out of the other side eventually, although when you are in the thick of it sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is barely visible :wacko:
Sometimes its not clear whats caused it and then as it ramps up it seems to attach itself to certain things which just makes it worse. Some people have said that it is cyclical and you just have to ride it out until you get to the other side and try not to buy into the things that mind is telling you (and catastrophising about) are the causes of it.
This is all very true.
We do come out the other side. Some bad patches seem worse than others but it’s important to remember we do get out of them eventually.
I see you’re new on here so :welcome:
Hello hello! Apologies for the slow response; the phone repair place was a healthy walk away, and we stopped to do some birdwatching on the way back, so I've been enjoying a luxury nap.
Spotting again for the second time in three days, and having a massive panic attack. The bleeding only really starts when I check inside myself, given all the stress am I safe to avoid contacting the GP this month?
How are you feeling now BlueIris? x
Nervy as heck, but I did cook dinner. Quite badly down the rabbit hole right now.
Had an enormous cold sore come up overnight, so I definitely think the stress is getting to my body.
Sounds like it. Nervy is an improvement on panicky.
The thing is once you get a thought into your head it's difficult to let it go or change it. You could do with some distraction until it does x
Well done with the phone Blue, it was very brave!
With regards to the spotting, I've had it before with ovulation (a long time ago) and I waited to see if it happened again, it didn't.
It's happened with me occasionally since my teens, I'll go years without and then it'll hit again. This time it's been a bit heavier - there's been small clots but only overnight, so I presume it's clotting inside me.
NICE guidelines reckon it requires a biopsy, Reddit reckons it's the weird end of normal, husband reckons I need to quit googling and wait it out.
Panic's an absolute b***h.
STOP GOOGLING!!!
You should know better than that.
Your body is dealing with all the crap and getting rid to keep you healthy. Think you need some serious distraction. x
You're right. Holding it together at work today, at least, when I was worried I wouldn't be able to.
There you go. Have confidence in yourself x
I know this happens every month right now and that I'm 46 and clearly in peri, but I had some very light bleeding overnight (day 7/8 of my period). It marked the pad I'm wearing, but a liner would probably have been enough.
Google says to get checked after 7 days, but I've had a truly horrendous month and it's only one day longer than my usual, am I safe to let this slide?
I know I'm doing all the wrong stuff right now, I'm angry at myself but the anxiety is being particularly persistent at the moment. I have panic diarrhoea half the time and I'm so tired it's not true.
A little comfort would be nice, but I'll take a kick up the rear.
It's just after period spotting BlueIris. :hugs:
And I'll give you a gentle kick up the backside for Googling. You know better than that. :winks:
Thanks, Carn. Can always rely on you :)
Sparkling_Fairy
14-12-23, 13:23
Oh Blue, I feel you! I've been taking a progesterone only pill for over a decade which stops my periods all together. In April, when I also had the most anxiety I've had in many years, I had a few days of spotting. Hadn't had that in 10 years!!! It sent me into an anxiety spiral for days. It stopped after 3 days and never came back. And then I was kicking myself for even getting so worked up about it!
I wouldn't rule out that you're getting spotting from being so anxious right now, our bodies do weird things!!! And you'll kick yourself later for letting it get to you.
Thanks, Sparkling. I'm also in the middle of a major anxiety spiral; multiple full-on panic attacks per day.
Going to try and pull myself together very gently.
Sparkling_Fairy
14-12-23, 13:35
Big hugs! Those are the worst. When you have all the tools in your toolbox, but none of them seem to be working!
Exactly, it just feels as though it's never going to end and that there'll be hospitals and tests and bad news and surgery.
Hugs, Blue. It probably is benign, but I can completely empathize with being in that space where you aren't sure if something needs to be checked truly or if your anxiety is just in high gear. And it's so easy to spiral from there.
I'm really bad at tracking my cycle so I finally went out and got a notebook to write things down that seem important. Not obsessively, just the date it started, the date it stopped, etc. I found it really helped me to notice what actually was normal for me and also if I had any questions for my gyn at my yearly I could ask.
I hope that anxiety and panic starts to settle for you soon. Wish it were a physical thing we could just give a smack to and tell to buzz off.
Aaand here I am again, day 7 of my cycle, I'm spotting lightly and freaking out. Honestly, I've freaked out for the entire duration of my period this month. I've had four and a half, maaaybe five days of bleeding and then it's just been spotting, but it's been multiple panic attacks all the way, obsessive self-checking and generally being a horrible person. I just had to apologise to my boss for complaining (doing one and a half people's jobs right now which is manageable but less so with full-blown panic), Mr Iris is justifiably upset with me for cancelling three separate cinema trips and I am SO TIRED IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. Oh, and we have building works outside the window and the performing arts studios directly overhead.
My relationship with my parents is abysmal, I wouldn't be surprised if I don't see them again before they die because we only speak when I phone them and I'm sick of feeling unwanted and afraid.
I think the world would maybe be better without me.
Sparkling_Fairy
07-02-24, 13:56
Oh no Blue, the world would definitely not be better off without you! Even just the people on here you helped. We would definitely not be better off without you.
Big hugs. There is not much I can say. Feeling constant panic and overwhelmed is horrible! You don't want it to affect the people around you, but it's so difficult to function properly when you're feeling this way. Too much work, health anxiety and on top of that constant works? That's enough to send anyone over the edge. I've been living on a construction site for a year. It's the main contributor to my anxiety at the moment, the constant noise, urgh!!!
So I fully understand you. I wish I could help, but undestanding is all I can give. Which I know would be better coming from those closest to you but unfortunately for someone who's never dealt with anxiety, they just can't fully understand it
My husband is really good, but I don't blame him for getting frustrated sometimes.
Last night at 3.45am there was a big disturbance outside our house - flashing lights, official-sounding people and sobbing. Not sure exactly what it was, but I was trying to find out so I got dressed and opened the door a crack. When I checked the other windows I saw the air ambulance car outside. I didn't get back to sleep and I think that's why I'm having a meltdown. Workwise, I'm trying to write online course materials whilst fielding a constant stream of basic IT enquiries from students whose language skills are very poor.
As soon as my colleague comes back from lunch I'm going to go get a bottle of Lucozade sport or something equivalent, get myself back in balance.
Thank you for responding, it really helps.
Hi BI
A day 7 is still normal and you've already stated it is light spotting.
You are tired, all that worrying and a period can make you feel more tired than usual.
Give yourself another day or two, then it's the weekend and plan a relaxing enjoyable time with hubby.
Big hug from me..
:bighug1:
Thanks. Couldn't find Lucozade so I had fizzy water and a chocolate biscuit. Same thing, right?
Unfortunately, it turns out that one of our downstairs neighbours died in the night. Really just want to get home now and hug my husband and the cat.
Hugs to you, too. :bighug1:
Thanks. Couldn't find Lucozade so I had fizzy water and a chocolate biscuit. Same thing, right?
Unfortunately, it turns out that one of our downstairs neighbours died in the night. Really just want to get home now and hug my husband and the cat.
Hugs to you, too. :bighug1:
That's sad to hear BI.
But at least it wasn't a murder, nor any other 'dubious' incident that would typically warrant such a commotion, especially at that time of the morning.
BTW, talking of the air ambulance you've kind of jogged my memory over something going on near to us the other night.
I recall for the best part of about 20 minutes or so I could hear a helicopter circling around above our area and must have flew over our house/estate about 3 times in succession.
Having retrospectively thought about it, perhaps they were after those graffiti taggers whom I was griping about in the other thread?
Lenco, I cannot even begin to unpack all the unpleasant, misguided stuff in that reply.
Please take a long hard look at yourself, though.
LittleLionMan
07-02-24, 17:48
I know (hope) you’re joking about sending helicopters out to look for kids with spray cans, but I’m really not sure.
‘At least it wasn’t a murder’ - really dude? A woman has lost her life, a man has lost his partner, it’s BI’s neighbour, just take a sec to think before you reply, hey mate?
I'm with lionman on that comment you made Lencoboy.
You need to reread your posts before you post them and maybe keep to topic.
For instance...
This is BlueIris's thread and the heading is 'Bad Patch' which for most readers would imply she needs support, advice and comfort. Not to freak her out about a possible murder or turn it into a political matter or bring up other points with absolutely no relativity into the conversation.
Your a nice guy but your sensitivity is lacking.
Sorry, it needed to be said.
I really apologise about my choice of words when replying to comments about what happened close to where BI lives in the early hours of this morning.
I seriously didn't intend to cause offence nor come across as insensitive.
I think the balance of my own personal mind is a bit disturbed at the moment, which can sometimes lead me into absentmindedly saying stuff that may be in rather poor taste that I probably wouldn't usually say otherwise.
And I promise I'm not using it as an excuse either.
Your reply and the nature of it is very much appreciated Lencoboy.
Thanks for the apology, Lenco. I know it's not an excuse and that things can come out wrong when you're stressed, I've done it myself plenty of times.
Your reply and the nature of it is very much appreciated Lencoboy.
My pleasure, Carnation.
I think I've always had a bit of a habit of saying certain things that may be inappropriate/insensitive (or at least perceived as so by others), but knowingly without any malicious intent.
But then again, we all live and learn every day, even if it's sometimes the hard way.
Thanks for the apology, Lenco. I know it's not an excuse and that things can come out wrong when you're stressed, I've done it myself plenty of times.
My pleasure, BI (see also my reply to Carnation above).
LittleLionMan
08-02-24, 08:07
I really apologise about my choice of words when replying to comments about what happened close to where BI lives in the early hours of this morning.
I seriously didn't intend to cause offence nor come across as insensitive.
I think the balance of my own personal mind is a bit disturbed at the moment, which can sometimes lead me into absentmindedly saying stuff that may be in rather poor taste that I probably wouldn't usually say otherwise.
And I promise I'm not using it as an excuse either.
Good man, apologising. :yesyes:
Hope today is a better day Blue xx
Thanks. Neck and shoulders are killing me and the usual fears are annoying me, but I'll live.
How are you?
Pretty much the exact same! Take it one minute at a time. We will be ok xx
How are you today BlueIris?
Bit annoyed with myself. Self-checked too much and have some light bleeding that definitely isn't period related, but is making me nervous anyway. I think it'd probably go away if I stopped poking myself, but I'm finding that hard so I'm still seeing blood occasionally.
Other than that, having a good few days, going to be leading another beading class on Tuesday which is always a joy.
How are you?
Oh BlueIris, why do you keep doing that? It's such a delicate area. And you always seem to regret doing it afterwards. Bless you :hugs:
Your beading class sounds great, a good distraction!
I'm ok, thanks for asking, just the usual niggles.
Isnt it funny how we can know we are creating the symptom and yet still worry about the symptom?!
So glad that other things are good though. Wish i was going to your beading class!
Jojo, I can send you supplies and we can do a Zoom class?
Okay, writing this now and it's not really about my period despite me being on my period (obviously I'm anxious about it but I'm wrangling it okay for now).
Life is weird, though. I just spent the afternoon adding quiz questions to videos about the Ukrainian war and it left me shaking, it was so sad. I went to sit in the office for 5 minutes and talk about it with my colleague, then when I came back to my desk a student asked me to read a story they'd written for their English class, just because. Suddenly I feel so privileged to have the life I do. Clearly I'm hormonal as heck, but still...
How's everyone doing?
I bet that was tough to do Blue, I spend a lot of time avoiding news stories, so I'd struggle doing it for work. But' how nice is it a student trusted you enough to read their work!
Hormones are just the worst! I once packed a bag and left my husband because of some imaginary slight. I got about 1/2 a mile away and realised I was being ridiculous and went home.
Things aren't too bad with me, I seem to have settled back down a bit after last week. Formative group presentation tomorrow - which even on zoom is a llittle terrifying.
Formative beats summative, though.
When I did my low-level teaching qualification I had to do a microteach over Teams, so I do empathise. You'll be brilliant, though, I can tell you're naturally eloquent.
Counting our blessings is so important, you are so right Blue. What a lovely post xx
Counting our blessings is so important, you are so right Blue. What a lovely post xx
Exactly. It makes us realise how fortunate we are in this country in the grand scheme of things, in spite of its respective problems, which are actually a walk in the park compared to the likes of Ukraine, Israel/Gaza, etc, right now.
BrokenGirl
06-03-24, 14:20
I've had this so many times. And I've had huge clots, not just ones the size of a 10p piece.
Honestly, at our age (and I think you're around the same age as me if I'm not mistaken, 47?), it's perfectly normal. It's been happening to me for a good few years now.
I know it looks scary but it's usually nothing to worry about, it's just part of our weird monthly cycle.
I'll be 47 next Friday. And yeah, mine are narrower than a 10p piece but a lot longer. I've always had a gush on day 4 for about 20 years, but it's started tripping the panic switch.
Have got a phone consult with a female GP for this afternoon which will hopefully help out; I prefer phone ones because the distance doesn't trigger my medical phobia so much.
BrokenGirl
06-03-24, 14:59
It really sounds like it's your anxiety is flaring up. You probably know deep down that this is fairly normal for you but when the panic kicks in, we all know that any sort of logical thinking goes out the window.
Hopefully your phone consult will go well and she'll be able to give you the reassurance you need at the moment.
I used to get clots. Dark ones as well.
I hope your phone call this afternoon will give you some piece of mind Blueiris. :hugs:
GP said she could only reassure me if I had bloods and an ultrasound, but that it doesn't have to be immediate. Will think about it, at least, as I do think this is mostly normal for me.
BrokenGirl
06-03-24, 15:40
It's good that she said there was no urgency getting bloods or ultrasound done. And you're starting to admit to yourself that it's totally normal for you that this happened.
It can take time for the anxious mind to quieten down and the logical mind to start working again but it sounds like the process has started with you already.
I hope you start to feel better soon because I know how scary clots can be, no matter how many times you've had them before, they just scare us at times, especially when we have anxiety.
I think you just need reassurance that it is normal.
You've got to decide whether you think it's necessary or come to the realisation that it's quite normal for the time of the month. :hugs:
Right, yes. Not going to make any hasty decisions, will chat to my husband and then see how it goes.
For now, I just want to get home from work and have a lie down, the panic was exhausting.
Are you feeling any better?
I am, thanks, tired but much better.
Wishing you a speedy recovery BI.
Wishing you a good day tomorrow Blueiris :hugs:
Thanks. Having another panicky one today - cramps and clots, but not as much as yesterday and I'm working on calming myself down. How are you?
Thanks. Having another panicky one today - cramps and clots, but not as much as yesterday and I'm working on calming myself down. How are you?
I couldn't reply sooner Blueiris, the forum was down and something about a bad gateway.
I hope you got through the day as calmly as possible. x
I couldn't get on when I tried yesterday either. Hope you're doing OK Blue.
I think I had a 5-minute window when I got that reply in. I'm getting better again, gradually, tired and on edge but the worst of the panic is starting to subside.
All that worrying is exhausting, hopefully you've had your peak and it's just a case of getting back on track. :hugs:
Thanks, Carnation. I still worry but the trick is recognising the worry as being irrational.
I had beetroot fries with my dinner last night. That caused a brief flicker of worry when I went to the bathroom this morning ;)
That's the key, to take a moment to realise it Is an irrational thought. I do that for most of the day lol.
If only we could take out our brain and dust away any bad thoughts, we'd be laughing, literally!
Beetroot does funny things to my wee, but it's very good for you so I can put up with that.
It is, and it's also delicious. Polish grocery shops sell jars of beetroot puree as a condiment, and it's fantastic.
Ha!!! I always get this with beetroot!!
It is, and it's also delicious. Polish grocery shops sell jars of beetroot puree as a condiment, and it's fantastic.
Oh I bet Mr.D would absolutely love that. He loves beetroot. Me, not so keen but I will look for that.
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