muj69
23-11-23, 14:12
I'm a man (age 32) and have been with my fiancee for seven years, we have 2 beautiful kids who we adore. For all my life I've had anxiety and OCD for sure. I question everything - including my love for my partner. Over the years I've questioned if I'm gay, evil, an abuser, among other things. But it disappeared for a very long time until last week when it suddenly popped into my head.
"Do you truly love her?"
"Why don't you 'feel' much when you think about it?"
"Is this a sign that it's nearly over?"
"If you left her, you're ruining your kids' lives, her life and your own"
Etc Etc Etc
It's exhausting and so frustrating. I'm very happy with our life and I know I love her - we only got engaged six months ago and I felt so certain about it. But I hate this voice that questions it. It makes me feel very panicked. She's the best person I've ever met. The idea of hurting her destroys me. I just want to be at peace within myself but right now I feel so meh. She knows about all of this and we communicate. She thinks it's my anxiety. Just over a week ago I felt great!
Is this just my anxiety? Any thoughts greatly appreciated.
"Do you truly love her?"
"Why don't you 'feel' much when you think about it?"
"Is this a sign that it's nearly over?"
"If you left her, you're ruining your kids' lives, her life and your own"
Etc Etc Etc
It's exhausting and so frustrating. I'm very happy with our life and I know I love her - we only got engaged six months ago and I felt so certain about it. But I hate this voice that questions it. It makes me feel very panicked. She's the best person I've ever met. The idea of hurting her destroys me. I just want to be at peace within myself but right now I feel so meh. She knows about all of this and we communicate. She thinks it's my anxiety. Just over a week ago I felt great!
Is this just my anxiety? Any thoughts greatly appreciated.