Not sure how to Cope with The Israel/Palestinian War

[loonarider77]

Hi all,

Not sure this is the right place as I don't want to trigger anyone.

Just finding it hard to deal with the ongoing war currently between Israel and Palestine. It's bad enough so many people dying, it's a genocide and there's also the impending doom of a world war 3, nuclear destruction.

It's so scary. At work right now, radio on, and talk of possible nuclear war.

Not sure how to cope with something out of my control. This could be it. I keep hearing MAD/mutually assured destruction and thats why it won't happen, but I dunno about that.

I just need to calm down, not sure how and need to not show anxiety towards my step kids .

P.s. actively not watching anything to do with this on social media/news outlets, but somehow it creeps in. I also can't control the radio being off or on at work !

Help please x

[Lencoboy]

Well my dad is currently watching Sky News and the only thing mentioned in the scrolling ticker along the bottom was about something in the Red Sea, but no talk/mention of a full-on nuclear war nor a World War Three.

Also what radio station did they have on at work today?

Also remember some were expressing the very same concerns about Ukraine almost 2 years ago and yet still no signs of us here in Blighty being nuked/bombed to kingdom come.

ETA; I've just had a dekko at the BBC site and while there are a couple of articles about the assassination of one of Hamas' masterminds in Lebanon yesterday, they never mentioned anything about any potential risks of full-on nuclear/world wars.

Nor has there been any talk of any specific threats to the UK so far.

[Lencoboy]

I would also like to suggest that when you're at work tomorrow (and Friday) to try taking a toilet break just before the hourly news bulletins on the radio start.

That's a legitimate excuse for a 'time out' for a couple of minutes to escape the news on the radio.

And if any of your fellow colleagues attempt to stick their beaks in over it, remember it's personal to you and none of their business.

I think you're also doing the wisest thing by steering clear of social media, and the news in general in the meantime, especially outlets notorious for OTT drama porn; not just concerning the Middle East situation, but pretty much anything and everything else that's likely to depress/distress you and make you a nervous wreck.

[alpacagirl]

Just remember the news loves this kind of stuff. They thrive on drama and speculation to win their audience. There's been many times since I was little that conflicts have caused a worry about nuclear war. I remember being about 10 and thinking " this is it". Funnily it's not something I worry about anymore because it is so out of my control.

[Lencoboy]

Just remember the news loves this kind of stuff. They thrive on drama and speculation to win their audience. There's been many times since I was little that conflicts have caused a worry about nuclear war. I remember being about 10 and thinking " this is it". Funnily it's not something I worry about anymore because it is so out of my control.

Absolutely correct. A lot of it's 'drama porn', pure and simple.

While I know we can never say never to anything, especially with the Covid pandemic being a recent example, though hopefully that was more of an exception whose panic was justified at the time, but many other things spewed out by the media more often than not turn out to be a case of 'crying wolf', especially all the nuke threat stuff that's basically been done to death by the media on and off for donkeys years now and nothing actually happening in the end.

Another credible theory by sociologists since the 70s (a la 'Folk devils and moral panics') is that many of these 'panics' are hyped up by both the media and the authorities to distract us from many of the more pressing issues closer to home (e.g; the precarious state of the economy, political scandals, etc), which back in the 70s was a moral panic about mugging and ethnic minorities being scapegoated as the 'folk devils' of the time, whereas now it's events in both the Middle East and Ukraine, where Muslims, Jews and Russians are now seemingly being stereotyped as the 'folk devils' of our present time; real or imagined.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Another war, another end of world scenario. And nothing has changed since any of the previous threads about this whether its Ukraine, Russia, North Korea, China and even Trump.

But I would say to be careful because there is a lot of propaganda. Even the BBC have had to apologise for reporting without fact checking first.

Hamas have a very successful propaganda machine and many allies when it comes to how they present situations. For instance, the atrocities of 7/10 are background noise now Israel has fought back. The evil acts committed against innocent citizens of any nation just found in the areas attacked are long forgotten as Hamas become seen as victims.

It's a complicated situation. It will go on for many years to come until the people involved change their mindsets to peace.

However nuclear weapons and WW3? Less chance than in Ukraine to me. Israel will bend to international pressure on such a serious matter whereas Putin may not. And Hamas haven't the ability, they can't even conduct a war and use terror tactics.

I really think you have to be careful because there is strong support over here and a fair amount of it is rooted in anti west or anti semitism. I have no doubt there are many genuine people who want to see peace but there are many who are not. Let's face it, did the masses march to stop other slaughters? And why do the UN turn a blind eye to some atrocities and not others? We've even had MPs showing their anti semitism and trying to make out their use of a well known call for genocide wasn't what they meant.

But as far as anxiety goes there are many general rules & tactics that will help regardless of the context. Spot when you want to reach for your triggers and have an adaptive strategy that kicks in. If you feel strong enough to read & watch, as a non anxious person would, then that's fine if you are ready. But beware the vested interests and propaganda.

As already said, the media love stuff like this and can whip up more fear. But if you are Jewish I can appreciate there are potentially real threats to safety that have to be considered. It seems less so for Palestinian citizens over here, as far as I can tell, and muslims in general.

[Lencoboy]

Another war, another end of world scenario. And nothing has changed since any of the previous threads about this whether its Ukraine, Russia, North Korea, China and even Trump.

But I would say to be careful because there is a lot of propaganda. Even the BBC have had to apologise for reporting without fact checking first.

Hamas have a very successful propaganda machine and many allies when it comes to how they present situations. For instance, the atrocities of 7/10 are background noise now Israel has fought back. The evil acts committed against innocent citizens of any nation just found in the areas attacked are long forgotten as Hamas become seen as victims.

It's a complicated situation. It will go on for many years to come until the people involved change their mindsets to peace.

However nuclear weapons and WW3? Less chance than in Ukraine to me. Israel will bend to international pressure on such a serious matter whereas Putin may not. And Hamas haven't the ability, they can't even conduct a war and use terror tactics.

I really think you have to be careful because there is strong support over here and a fair amount of it is rooted in anti west or anti semitism. I have no doubt there are many genuine people who want to see peace but there are many who are not. Let's face it, did the masses march to stop other slaughters? And why do the UN turn a blind eye to some atrocities and not others? We've even had MPs showing their anti semitism and trying to make out their use of a well known call for genocide wasn't what they meant.

But as far as anxiety goes there are many general rules & tactics that will help regardless of the context. Spot when you want to reach for your triggers and have an adaptive strategy that kicks in. If you feel strong enough to read & watch, as a non anxious person would, then that's fine if you are ready. But beware the vested interests and propaganda.

As already said, the media love stuff like this and can whip up more fear. But if you are Jewish I can appreciate there are potentially real threats to safety that have to be considered. It seems less so for Palestinian citizens over here, as far as I can tell, and muslims in general.

You're correct Terry, the media often love to hype stuff up and scare us witless.

My dad was saying last night that countries like Israel and Russia have actually been 'flashpoints' basically ever since he can remember, but now with 24/7 rolling news, Internet, social media, etc, many world events often seem far more acute now on the face of it, unlike pre-2000s where many issues in general were still there but often less reported and seemingly hidden at times, even some of those in this country alone.

I think another factor is the conventional printed press are now basically on borrowed time and over the past few years in particular it seems they have felt increasingly obliged to up the ante with their sensationalism and shock value in order to remain relevant and keep appealing to the masses in order to survive in their existing form but at the same time flogging a dead horse as readers are still continuing to turn their backs on them no matter what.

[loonarider77]

Hu Lencoboy,

I am so grateful for your posts and they calmed me somewhat for a good week until...

Today I walked into work and our older colleague ha been banging on about an imminent war with Russia for best part of an hour. I forgot my ear buds so couldn't block it out.

He said Sweden or Finland have joine NATO. Anyway, in the end, I walked out of the lab.

I feel sick to my stomach. I know his is the end for all of us.

I just don't know to cope with it. Trying to manage my fear and anxiety. This is very difficult.

Feel like leaving my job and driving home today because what's the point.

I don't know how to calm my nerves right now trying hard. Sitting in the toilets waiting til I can put on a brave face.

[loonarider77]

Hu Lencoboy,

I am so grateful for your posts and they calmed me somewhat for a good week until...

Today I walked into work and our older colleague ha been banging on about an imminent war with Russia for best part of an hour. I forgot my ear buds so couldn't block it out.

He said Sweden or Finland have joine NATO. Anyway, in the end, I walked out of the lab.

I feel sick to my stomach. I know his is the end for all of us.

I just don't know to cope with it. Trying to manage my fear and anxiety. This is very difficult.

Feel like leaving my job and driving home today because what's the point.

I don't know how to calm my nerves right now trying hard. Sitting in the toilets waiting til I can put on a brave face.

[loonarider77]

I guess I can't always avoid talk about the threat of war, but I just wanna get on with my job I can't .

He's older the guy at work and just rants on and on and on.

Quite a few of us here suffer with anxiety and it's not fair.

Not sure how to tell him as he's a bit of a ballsy Scottish guy (not to say all Scots are like that ) , but anyway. I despair.

[Lencoboy]

I guess at the end of the day it's just your one colleague's personal matter of opinion. It's important to remember opinions of just one individual aren't necessarily facts, plus some people often seem to revel in drama.

Also beware of misinformation and 'fake news', of which there's plenty of online concerning both the thing with Russia and Ukraine, and also of course the situation in the Middle East.

And I know it's a fine line between balancing your colleague's freedom of expression and others respecting your anxiety triggers which can all be futile in its own right.

ETA; The main news headline here in Blighty right now seems to be about the Post Office scandal, which was the predominant article on the front pages of yesterday's national papers and is still the foremost topic on Sky News this morning, so 'Armageddon' is hardly imminent right now, otherwise that would obviously be the foremost topic.

[loonarider77]

Thanks again,

Unfortunately, I can't stop the radio being on at work.

We are indeed at war. We've joined America to support Ukraine and have already launched missiles.

Check the news. We are here. It was inevitable. I need to be with my family, not here at work right now.

This is bloody depressing.

[loonarider77]

Thanks again,

Unfortunately, I can't stop the radio being on at work.

We are indeed at war. We've joined America to support Ukraine and have already launched missiles in the red sea. I can't believe it. I'm so afraid of being bombed.

Check the news. We are here. It was inevitable. I need to be with my family, not here at work right now.

This is bloody depressing.

[loonarider77]

I'm a mess about this and I apologise if going on too much

[Lencoboy]

But we're not directly at war though, as having sent our troops to fight in Ukraine, Russia, etc, like we did to Iraq in 2003.

As for your comment about 'check the news, we are here'; remember there are various different news outlets out there all with their own specific agendas on all matter of issues; some of which are exaggerated, or even full-on fabrication/ lies. And I know full well we can never say never to anything either.

Heck, even Covid still in the meantime remains a far more immediate risk to us here in Blighty than a direct attack by either Russians or Israelis/Palestinians, and our media right now are hardly putting the fear of God into us over it 24/7 anymore like they were in 2020-21.

Also I often wonder in retrospect how many of us coped back in the 70s and 80s with the threat of the last Cold War, and also with the constant threat of the IRA, as my keyworker at my day centre said the other day regarding the latter that not only did they conduct actual attacks on the British mainland during their heyday of the 70s, 80s and much of the 90s, but he also added that he seemed to remember at times there being bomb scares up and down the country virtually every other week; sometimes even in 'lesser' towns, let alone our major cities. Even when and where there were sightings of vehicles with Irish number plates.

So in a nutshell, 'twas ever thus' in many ways regarding potential warfare/terror threats, in spite of the fact that the Internet and 24/7 rolling news channels/ outlets didn't really become mainstream in this country until the end of the 90s at the very earliest, plus social media didn't really start appearing until around the mid 2000s at the earliest and in turn didn't really become mainstream until the early 2010s; all of which can amplify various issues around the world all the more.

[loonarider77]

Hello Lencoboy,

I wholeheartedly appreciate your perspective, rationale and balance when it comes to these issues.

I really needed it. Even if it helps me get through today.

You're right. I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm gen X and I remember the threat of nuclear war in the 80s it was scary, but nothing materialised, oh, and the IRA threats. I was a child.

I always look forward to your responses. They've helped a lot. Well until I scare myself again!

Thanks you

[Lencoboy]

Hello Lencoboy,

I wholeheartedly appreciate your perspective, rationale and balance when it comes to these issues.

I really needed it. Even if it helps me get through today.

You're right. I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm gen X and I remember the threat of nuclear war in the 80s it was scary, but nothing materialised, oh, and the IRA threats. I was a child.

I always look forward to your responses. They've helped a lot. Well until I scare myself again!

Thanks you

Going by your username, I presume you were born in 1977, which is the same year I was born.

So if that's the case we're both part of the same generation.

Like I said in my previous post in this thread, we didn't really have the Internet and 24/7 rolling news with instantaneous info until around the late 90s, nor did we really have social media until the latter half of the 2000s at the earliest, and mainly just news bulletins on TV at set times throughout the day so we weren't constantly bombarded with stuff day in day out like we are today (sometimes less is really more).

I also suggest you take a look at this site: www.debunkingdoomsday.quora.com

[MyNameIsTerry]

Thanks again,

Unfortunately, I can't stop the radio being on at work.

We are indeed at war. We've joined America to support Ukraine and have already launched missiles.

Check the news. We are here. It was inevitable. I need to be with my family, not here at work right now.

This is bloody depressing.

We've launched missiles against Houthis rebels is Yemen who are attacking civilian ships. Before this we had ships patrolling waters just like this to keep civilians safe from pirates.

The connection is they are Iranian backed, like so many terrorist groups. We have to retaliate to our citizens being targeted otherwise they will attack them even more. Basically shoving them back in their box or reminding them of their place.

[MyNameIsTerry]

And I know it's a fine line between balancing your colleague's freedom of expression and others respecting your anxiety triggers which can all be futile in its own right.


Not a freedom we enjoy at work, Lenco. Sometimes managers have to tell people to shut up :biggrin:

[Lencoboy]

Not a freedom we enjoy at work, Lenco. Sometimes managers have to tell people to shut up :biggrin:

Well good on them, especially if they're being OTT drama queens.

And don't get me wrong; I'm not in any way trivialising these awful events currently going on in the world, and the thought of full-on wars and the like has always filled me with dread, but like you have admitted yourself in various other threads on such matters over recent years, I try to rationalise such situations as best I can nowadays and have learned not to always take everything at face value, nor think in 'black and white'.

Plus I believe there are many who often like to jump to conclusions and exaggerate about various issues, especially in the absence of concrete evidence. Always have, always will.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Well good on them, especially if they're being OTT drama queens.

And don't get me wrong; I'm not in any way trivialising these awful events currently going on in the world, and the thought of full-on wars and the like has always filled me with dread, but like you have admitted yourself in various other threads on such matters over recent years, I try to rationalise such situations as best I can nowadays and have learned not to always take everything at face value, nor think in 'black and white'.

Plus I believe there are many who often like to jump to conclusions and exaggerate about various issues, especially in the absence of concrete evidence. Always have, always will.

Contracts have codes of conduct. Some people can have very strong views that may be offensive to others and some topics can impact on victims we don't know work with us.

You still get your freedom to express yourself but it comes with a rollicking or disciplinary afterwards.

You leave it at the door and get on with the work you are paid for but we are human and things happen.

I can understand the OP struggling with it and how to cope without causing a fiery person from reacting quite typically with more animated debate. I guess they can only be polite and explain how they find such discussion difficult. Hopefully the other person realises it is upsetting and avoids discussion in the future.

[Lencoboy]

Contracts have codes of conduct. Some people can have very strong views that may be offensive to others and some topics can impact on victims we don't know work with us.

You still get your freedom to express yourself but it comes with a rollicking or disciplinary afterwards.

You leave it at the door and get on with the work you are paid for but we are human and things happen.

I can understand the OP struggling with it and how to cope without causing a fiery person from reacting quite typically with more animated debate. I guess they can only be polite and explain how they find such discussion difficult. Hopefully the other person realises it is upsetting and avoids discussion in the future.

I guess it will always be something of a grey area. A bit like 'to swear or not to swear' and particularly prior to 2007 'to smoke or not to smoke' in workplace environments, where some have been more permissive and laid back than others who were/are more restrictive, obviously depending on the general nature and context of each individual workplace concerned.

E.g, certain 'banter'-like behaviours from workers that might be OK in/on say, a factory floor, garage workshop, building site, in the forces, etc, may not be appropriate by staff working in schools, day centres, hospitals, etc, especially within eye/earshot of pupils, clients and patients.

[loonarider77]

Hi Lencoboy,

I told you it wouldn't last long, my calm.

So been putting my head down. Radio blurts out that we MUST get mentally ready for war.

Let's not beat around the bush, it's happening!

Aside from that have checking your doomsday debunking link and it's great. May have to go over there.

But why does the news do this! I.feel so sad for people like us who.suffer with anxiety and la ic disorder :(

[loonarider77]

Apparently the public will be addressed tonight. This is scary. Is there any point me even going back to work? Just stay home and drink or something until numb

[loonarider77]

War, war, war, war, war ..sick and tired of hearing about it. Can't avoid it, makes me not want to even leave the house some days.
.I just need the strength to ignore it and carry on.

[Lencoboy]

Hi Lencoboy,

I told you it wouldn't last long, my calm.

So been putting my head down. Radio blurts out that we MUST get mentally ready for war.

Let's not beat around the bush, it's happening!

Aside from that have checking your doomsday debunking link and it's great. May have to go over there.

But why does the news do this! I.feel so sad for people like us who.suffer with anxiety and la ic disorder :(

I saw a bit of it on Sky News with my dad, but he (my dad) reckons most of it is hypothetical 'whatiffery' especially ahead of the UK's forthcoming General Election, and it largely centres on the fact that the UK armed forces have been cut to the bone over the past decade or so in reference to the conscription stuff, which my dad also reckons is currently being milked for political reasons domestically.

They didn't specifically state that a world war is definitely imminent though, nor did they actually say that Brits are getting called up to fight in Russia nor the Middle East. Plus remember the media (and certain politicians) like to keep us scared; often for their own gains.

After all, they can't really keep telling us that we're all gonna die of Covid any longer, so they have to look for other scary stuff to put the fear of God into us over, real or imagined.

Also check out www.debunkingdoomsday.quora.com (http://www.debunkingdoomsday.quora.com) once again, as Robert has posted an interesting article on this current topic.

[Lencoboy]

War, war, war, war, war ..sick and tired of hearing about it. Can't avoid it, makes me not want to even leave the house some days.
.I just need the strength to ignore it and carry on.

Just remember, you're probably far more likely to get run over by a bus or end up in a car crash than get caught up in a war.

[loonarider77]

Thank you so much Lencoboy. I always appreciate your insight (or your dad's for that matter LOL). I dread to think of all the men going off to war whether voluntarily or not.

I'd imagine if it did come to the there'd be some major protests here!

[Lencoboy]

Thank you so much Lencoboy. I always appreciate your insight (or your dad's for that matter LOL). I dread to think of all the men going off to war whether voluntarily or not.

I'd imagine if it did come to the there'd be some major protests here!

Yes, there probably would be major protests here if conscription was considered, no doubt akin to those during the run-up to the second Gulf War in 2003 and the Poll Tax 13 years earlier, which probably might not be such a bad thing considering many of us Brits have seemingly become more complacent and blasé about many political issues in general over the past decade or more, but provided it doesn't turn into full-on destructive rioting and the like (a la August 2011).

Mind you, it's merely all talk and no doubt political football/pre-election point-scoring, at least in the meantime.

[loonarider77]

Yes.

I was on the debunking doomsday forum. Private messages Dr Robert. He said NATO forces are pretty strong against Russia, unless there was a "surprise attack" at the borders and foot shoulders enter UK. Not sure what he means by that, how likely is a surprise attack??

It's all very real. Trying to get on with my day at work. Our old CO worker hasn't uttered a word and now not sure whether that's a good or bad thing because he's always banging on about the threat of war.

[Lencoboy]

It's all very real. Trying to get on with my day at work. Our old CO worker hasn't uttered a word and now not sure whether that's a good or bad thing because he's always banging on about the threat of war.

Perhaps that guy has either got the hint at long last or your boss might have had a quiet word in his ear about his constant doom-mongering, gossiping and 'drama queening' about wars and the like, and warned him to tone things down a bit as it might be having detrimental effects on his fellow workmates around him.

Reminds me of a client at my previous day centre who was a right gossiping drama queen and an interfering busybody who about 15 years ago who turned up their one morning saying that 'gangs' of school kids had been rioting in our town the day before and they were being pursued by armed police in 'riot' vans, but it turned out to be one of here BS fairy tales as nothing of the sort actually happened; probably just a handful of teenage kids typically running amok on their way home from school, as they sometimes do, but with no real harm done, and the police vans were probably driving around for completely different reasons, totally unrelated to that fictional/imaginary 'disturbance'.

Sorry for straying off-topic but I couldn't help giving an example of one of my personal encounters/experiences with so-called gossiping 'drama queens'.

Back to the actual thread topic. In the meantime I've noticed nearly everyone in this country still seems to be going about their daily businesses and routines as per usual with no signs of anything out of the ordinary nor anything untoward being apparent up until now.

[loonarider77]

Off topic is absolutely fine in this current situation LOL

Yes everyone is getting on with things. Just entered my family Whatsapp group to find my brother has posted a link to the BBC we site about doomsday clock.

This, I want to call bs, I haven't even read it. No wonder people have anxiety!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-68017445

[Lencoboy]

Off topic is absolutely fine in this current situation LOL

Yes everyone is getting on with things. Just entered my family Whatsapp group to find my brother has posted a link to the BBC we site about doomsday clock.

This, I want to call bs, I haven't even read it. No wonder people have anxiety!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-68017445

Funnily enough Robert also did an article on his DD site the other day about the so-called Doomsday Clock and stated how meaningless it is.

That's the article on said subject you're probably best off reading.

But surely we've already been down that road hundreds of times before over the years and nothing's actually ever happened (remember all the hullabaloo over December 2012 which actually turned out to be a load of old cobblers?).

Kind of 'crying wolf' if you ask me.