Littleleaf
30-01-24, 20:50
I feel like I need to end my relationship. I am not especially happy but I do love the person and our lives are really entwined so it feels impossible.
I feel like I wouldnÂ’t be able to cope with the social fallout, how isolated it would make me and how few friends I would have after. I already struggle with social anxiety enough as it is.
And i have low self esteem, i dont think I would bother to date if we broke up.
I canÂ’t imagine the relationship getting better, I have tried to talk about the issues I have but honestly I think almost all the hurtful things they do are ingrained and they hide rather than deal with them or own them (cheating, being derogatory about weight gain), or baggage from their previous relationship which had little to no intimacy or communication. Our relationship started off with great intimacy and communication but now all we have left is physical intimacy and they almost never listen to me.
Despite all that I really dont want to end it. I just donÂ’t know what to do when the issues we are having that are making me so unhappy are things I canÂ’t do any more (IÂ’ve already done all I can) to fix and they donÂ’t seem especially active in sorting them either. As far as Im aware they agree with me on all of the above, im not perfect at all but ive not actually done anything genuinely upsetting to them such as cheating or lying and they have, repeatedly. To be clear to my knowledge they havenÂ’t slept with anyone else but they have (even in front of me)flirted and tried to get with other peopled so it wouldnÂ’t shock me of they had at all. They say they want to do better, but I really donÂ’t understand why its hard for them now when they found it so easy before.
It feels less like they care and more like I'm being placated some days. I moved to live near them, which they suggested and then they seemed annoyed that I did it. I canÂ’t see us getting married or living together. I donÂ’t have anyone else waiting in the wings and am comfortable being single, but I dont seem able to end the relationship and I feel huge anxiety over it all.
I feel like I wouldnÂ’t be able to cope with the social fallout, how isolated it would make me and how few friends I would have after. I already struggle with social anxiety enough as it is.
And i have low self esteem, i dont think I would bother to date if we broke up.
I canÂ’t imagine the relationship getting better, I have tried to talk about the issues I have but honestly I think almost all the hurtful things they do are ingrained and they hide rather than deal with them or own them (cheating, being derogatory about weight gain), or baggage from their previous relationship which had little to no intimacy or communication. Our relationship started off with great intimacy and communication but now all we have left is physical intimacy and they almost never listen to me.
Despite all that I really dont want to end it. I just donÂ’t know what to do when the issues we are having that are making me so unhappy are things I canÂ’t do any more (IÂ’ve already done all I can) to fix and they donÂ’t seem especially active in sorting them either. As far as Im aware they agree with me on all of the above, im not perfect at all but ive not actually done anything genuinely upsetting to them such as cheating or lying and they have, repeatedly. To be clear to my knowledge they havenÂ’t slept with anyone else but they have (even in front of me)flirted and tried to get with other peopled so it wouldnÂ’t shock me of they had at all. They say they want to do better, but I really donÂ’t understand why its hard for them now when they found it so easy before.
It feels less like they care and more like I'm being placated some days. I moved to live near them, which they suggested and then they seemed annoyed that I did it. I canÂ’t see us getting married or living together. I donÂ’t have anyone else waiting in the wings and am comfortable being single, but I dont seem able to end the relationship and I feel huge anxiety over it all.