Checking, checking, checking.

[Lucidite1]

I'm so fed up with myself. Yesterday, I touched my belly. I ended up palpating it very hard in search of tumors. Today it's very sore and hurts after this session. Of course, while touching it, I found some harder parts, some irregularities and I couldn't stop. I felt I had to check it all thousands of times. And of course, now I am afraid if these parts were tumors. Logically I know that these could be some tendons or whatever, especially that I have them in couple of places on my stomach.But I can't stop touching it, checking, comparing to other harder parts I can find. What do I do now? I really try to avoid trips to the doctors, as after leaving the office I already have another lethal ilness to be afraid of :(

[Mocadona]

Hi there! You sound very similar to me, I have the same compulsions to check, often to the point of actually injuring myself and then I worry about that and... You know how it
goes! Even if I find absolutely no evidence of anything, I don't believe my self checking and have to try again, maybe pressing a bit harder or stretching something a bit further and so on and on!

A good thing is on some level you see how ridiculous it is and you know it doesn't bring you any benefit, at least not long term. What you need to work on is that this checking is a conscious decision you're making, so you can stop it or at least reduce it. Once you start to see the benefits of it it becomes easier. Have you seen a counsellor or psychologist? They can help you do this and to train the logical side of your mind to win a few battles.

What we have to realise is we have no medical training, or no context to put any of these 'symptoms' in so checking is a complete waste of time. Best of luck, I hope the logic that you obviously have around this can win out!