When you have real symptoms??

[sel123]

Hi there -

I’ve struggled with health anxiety for a long time and while I’ve ben worried about a number of things my biggest fear has been BC.

Last month I felt something that I hadn’t felt before but I also don’t do manual checks because I have fibrocystic breasts and will always find something. So to be honest it may have been there for a while and when I had my mammo in November but I don’t know.

I tried to manage my anxiety and not run to the drs but my anxiety has been terrible as I feel like IÂ’m facing my biggest fear. I went to an urgent care yesterday and the dr on call pretty much yelled at me for coming in saying this wasn’t as emergency etc etc

She felt the area I was worried about and did feel the bump (so now I know I’m not making it up) but the only thing she said was “this is moveable” and then she seemed annoyed.

She then told me that as an emergency dr all she can do is send me for an u/s OR I can see my family GP who has all my history and my recent mammogram (which was clear in November). She was not at all sympathetic to my anxiety and the fact I was quite emotional. I said I’ll see my Dr and she said good idea and that was it. It was a huge reminder to not see urgent care drs for me.

So obviously I would like her to have said that it was fine or that she couldn’t feel it, but now I know that my GP is probably going to send me for an U/S and that will be more waiting. I feel like a zombie. I’m crying all the time and so not engaged with life. I can’t sleep and I’m actually thinking I may not be able to work as I feel so terrible.

I hate this so much. I am speaking to a couple of OCD therapists this week as clearly I need some help.

How do you manage your HA when symptoms present that are not anxiety?

[Scissel]

I hope you are able to get some benefit from these new ODC therapists this week. Good luck!

Sal

[Lencoboy]

I tried to manage my anxiety and not run to the drs but my anxiety has been terrible as I feel like IÂ’m facing my biggest fear. I went to an urgent care yesterday and the dr on call pretty much yelled at me for coming in saying this wasn’t as emergency etc etc

She felt the area I was worried about and did feel the bump (so now I know I’m not making it up) but the only thing she said was “this is moveable” and then she seemed annoyed.

She then told me that as an emergency dr all she can do is send me for an u/s OR I can see my family GP who has all my history and my recent mammogram (which was clear in November). She was not at all sympathetic to my anxiety and the fact I was quite emotional. I said I’ll see my Dr and she said good idea and that was it. It was a huge reminder to not see urgent care drs for me.

Sounds like your Dr has been rather dismissive. While I totally understand that time and money is often rather tight for the medical profession (and many other 'services') these days, I personally have a feeling that certain 'professionals' often 'milk' this current situation in order to justify their jobsworthiness, perpetual laziness, and 'can't be bothered' attitudes, plus I believe the recent pandemic also exacerbated such attitudes even further.

And not just in the medical profession, but virtually across the board.

[Fishmanpa]

Sounds like your Dr has been rather dismissive. While I totally understand that time and money is often rather tight for the medical profession (and many other 'services') these days, I personally have a feeling that certain 'professionals' often 'milk' this current situation in order to justify their jobsworthiness, perpetual laziness, and 'can't be bothered' attitudes, plus I believe the recent pandemic also exacerbated such attitudes even further.

And not just in the medical profession, but virtually across the board.

That's not the case here. Urgent care is for 'URGENT' issues. This was not 'urgent'. Clear tests and a history of fibrocystic breasts affirm that. If the OP was that concerned, a call to her doctor and not rushing off to 'urgent' care would have been in order. I'm with the urgent care doctor on this one and depending on how busy the clinic was, she had actual cases and patients to see. The pattern of HA sufferers that visit urgent care clinics, ERs, getting unnecessary tests and such due to their fears and ramping up the dragon with Dr. Google is well documented here and has nothing to do with the things you mentioned.

Getting help for the real issue (anxiety/HA/OCD) is the best solution.

FMP

[sel123]

This is all so true and believe me I wonÂ’t be taking that route again.

IÂ’m seeing my GP which I agree shouldÂ’ve done in the first place. It was the panic that sent me to Urgent Care but agree not the best thing to do.

[Sparkling_Fairy]

I undestand it though. Hindsight is 20/20.
I went to the out of hours doctor last week but my first instinct was to go to the emergency room. Panic was just sending me that way. I thought rationally and realized it wasn't an emergency and I would be using up resources for other people. But when you're in a state of panic, that's not something you think about.
Lesson learned, don't be too hard on yourself.
In terms of managing your HA when you have an actual physical issue, there's not much to say other than you just do. You do like you always do. People always think they're not managing their anxiety, but the fact that you live with it every day no matter how crippling it is, means you are managing it. You get through each day, one day at a time. And that's what you'll do with this one

[sel123]

Thank you!!!!

The panic can be so intense. I read and re-read a book called “Needing to Know for Sure” which addresses how to stop this need for certainty.

I did end up seeing my doctor and the comfort of seeing someone who is compassionate and cares reminded me why I won’t be doing any more urgent care trips.

He did a full exam and doesn’t think that’s it’s anything to worry about - he must’ve said it 4/5 times. He’s sending me for a non-urgent ultrasound which sounds like protocol. At first I was feeling a tremendous amount of relief but then the adrenaline quickly faded and I fell back into worry land again. As is the case with HA! I was hoping I wouldn’t need any more tests but I’m sure if he didn’t order an U/S I would’ve questioned that too. My brain doesn’t stop and waiting for tests is agonizing.

I’m just going to try to keep busy, keep moving and doing whatever I can in the interim.

Thanks for reading :)

[sel123]

I am so sorry for the double post!! I’m hoping writing this helps clear my head as I have a lot I need to do today and right now feel awful.

I can’t sleep and then wake up with terrible dread. Of course I fell down a rabbit hole last night and read bad stories. All I can think about are my kids and how much they need me.

I wish I had started medication. I can really see now that without it I’m just not going to get out of this. I’ve suffered from HA most of my life but this last decade has been the worst and I’ve wasted so much time.

I honestly thought I would be OK this week after my Dr’s appt and that I would be able to relax until the ultrasound. It’s not happening and now I’m terrified that they will send me for more tests. I honestly can’t believe I’m here again.

Thanks for reading.

[Lana]

Hello ,

To have something after clan mammogram in November is almost unheard of. You should not worry. Really.

[always scared]

Have you seen your doctor?
How are you doing?

[sel123]

Thank you for asking :)

I saw my Dr last week and he wasn’t concerned but he’s sending my for a non urgent u/ next week. That area has always been lumpy but I don’t know if this particular spot is new as I really avoid touching and even when I tried my usual way of checking I don’t feel it (I have to move around to feel it) so it really was a fluke I felt it at all.

For years I’ve been stressing about pain, armpit pain, boils, heat rashes, it’s just been too much. It feels like I’m always worried about something in this area.

It’s been two weeks of up & down. I’ve found a therapist who specializes in OCD & HA so that’s been good and I know I need to start the meds which I will do but I don’t want to start anything while I’m this anxious. I’m walking as much as I can and talking and when I’m busy I can forget about it for an hour or so but the panic is always there. Im sleeping at least but then waking up to that wave of worry.

I’m so scared they will send me for more tests. I honestly don’t think I can handle more worrying - my therapist even reminded me how all of this cortisol is not a good thing for my body. I hate this so much and am scared it will be more and just praying it’s nothing to be worried about.

Would love to hear some good news stories!!!

[sel123]

Struggling today. My US is only 4 days away and I’m having such a hard time. There’s a huge part of me that doesn’t want to go which logically doesn’t make sense but I know that’s not going to help anything and the anxiety will definitely not go away. Trying to be engaged in the weekend but all I really want to do is stay in my room and cry. I just can’t believe Im here again and a “bump”‘isn’t something I can pass off as anxiety so that’s making everything worse. We have so many plans for the summer and I just don’t see anything happening now. Sorry for the vent but it helps to just write it down and I know this group gets it, in ways that no one else does. Hope anyone struggling is having a better day today. xo

[ckelley116]

I think everything will be just fine ☺️ I’m sorry you’re struggling and I get it, really I do. Just try to keep in mind that if this IS anything - and I believe your doctor that it isn’t - you will have caught it so extremely early! I know the waiting is the worst part and hope you can find some peace going into your scan. It’ll be fine!

Also, thank you for the book recommendation - I ordered a copy after seeing your post and Amazon delivered it yesterday.

[sel123]

Thank you for the kind words!!

I’m so happy to hear you ordered the book! It’s incredibly helpful. I hope it is for you as well!

[Jase.]

I'm sorry the emergency doctor was so rude to you. While she may have been frustrated, overworked, whatever, it's absolutely no excuse. It costs nothing to show a little bit of kindness and empathy; especially to somebody who is visibly struggling! You'd think somebody who works in the healthcare profession would know that.

From what you've told us, I think you'll be absolutely fine and I'm sure the ultrasound will confirm that. :)

[WiredIncorrectly]

That's not the case here. Urgent care is for 'URGENT' issues. This was not 'urgent'. Clear tests and a history of fibrocystic breasts affirm that. If the OP was that concerned, a call to her doctor and not rushing off to 'urgent' care would have been in order. I'm with the urgent care doctor on this one and depending on how busy the clinic was, she had actual cases and patients to see. The pattern of HA sufferers that visit urgent care clinics, ERs, getting unnecessary tests and such due to their fears and ramping up the dragon with Dr. Google is well documented here and has nothing to do with the things you mentioned.

Getting help for the real issue (anxiety/HA/OCD) is the best solution.

FMP

Agreed FMP.

Not saying OP is at fault. Anxiety is dreadful when you're in the thick of it. I'm convinced anxiety is part of the OCD spectrum.

One time on this forum I was in a bad state for weeks. Members here seen me getting worse. I told the forum I was going to A&E because of my ectopic heartbeats. Everyone told me it's anxiety, and not to bother, but I went anyway. Complete waste of time.

Urgent care, and A&E, will not deal with any issue that isn't an emergency. My Dad was in pain when his cancer was visibly growing and he called an ambulance. A&E sent him back home because there was nothing they could do except administer pain medications and wait for his oncologist to get back to him. At the time I thought this was disgusting, but I learned that there was nothing A&E could do for him.

It's important to remember, if you're not in a life threatening state, or you're not injured, there is nothing urgent care or A&E can do for you.

[ckelley116]

I'm a few chapters in and it's so crazy how it describes exactly what goes on in my head during an HA episode! I can see it being even more helpful when I'm not reading it while in the throes of one - the advice is good, but I'm not sure I'm as receptive as I could be at the moment :laugh:

[sel123]

I felt the same - the book really describes the challenges of living with an anxious mind! Definitely easier to implement when you’re not in an anxious state. I keep reminding myself that when I’m not anxious is when I need to be doing all the work so I can better handles these situations when I’m struggling.

Hope your having a better day!

[ckelley116]

How are you today, Sel? Is your ultrasound today?

[sel123]

Thank you for checking in!

I got the all clear at my ultrasound today.

Breathing a sigh of relief, now committed to working on my anxiety & OCD with my therapist and medication. It’s been 9 years of this - time to make some lasting changes!

[Sparkling_Fairy]

Oh so good to hear you got the all clear! I hope you can take it forward from here :)

[ckelley116]

That's great news! Congratulations!!