Ozzy
03-12-07, 03:08
21 depressed no mates no prospects no cash.....
:weep:
i do hate my self now and im feeling so low i just wanna self harm (but im not going to im posting here to take my mind off it)
but this is prolly the worst i have ever felt in my life at this time of year and how most ppl are out haveing fun as its almost xmas and stuff sometimes i think about being out and the joys id be haveing but i dont wanna be thinking about that as it depresses me but i cant help it im sorry im just haveing a rant and stuffs im just fed up with the time of year and in 1month it will be over thank god (cheery i know) but its how im feeling i havent looked forward to xmas since ive been depressed like 5yearsish :weep: i just want to be normal and have a life
But anyway my mirtazapine has been upped and for some reason my doctor thinks theres not along wrong with me ive asked to see a shrink and she said no since they have done reports on me and i dont need to see one after 5 over doses this is im so annoyed and this gets me down more yeah ive seen a cpn but it was only a 1 hour ses, and i didnt even get everything in he just said he would end it there and talk some other time but there was no other time.. :weep: he said i had sa and passed it back to my doc then another cpn when i took a over does at the hospital seen me changed my meds to mirtazapine she only listens to ppl whos not me for some reason ive asked her about 12 times to refer me but no she wont... most of the time i take over doses for a cry for help just for her to listen to someone other then me ive already changed doctors i prolly cant again im too scared :weep:
I hate my self for the way i am and always will be
thanks for reading and take care all
Thanks Ozzy
:weep:
i do hate my self now and im feeling so low i just wanna self harm (but im not going to im posting here to take my mind off it)
but this is prolly the worst i have ever felt in my life at this time of year and how most ppl are out haveing fun as its almost xmas and stuff sometimes i think about being out and the joys id be haveing but i dont wanna be thinking about that as it depresses me but i cant help it im sorry im just haveing a rant and stuffs im just fed up with the time of year and in 1month it will be over thank god (cheery i know) but its how im feeling i havent looked forward to xmas since ive been depressed like 5yearsish :weep: i just want to be normal and have a life
But anyway my mirtazapine has been upped and for some reason my doctor thinks theres not along wrong with me ive asked to see a shrink and she said no since they have done reports on me and i dont need to see one after 5 over doses this is im so annoyed and this gets me down more yeah ive seen a cpn but it was only a 1 hour ses, and i didnt even get everything in he just said he would end it there and talk some other time but there was no other time.. :weep: he said i had sa and passed it back to my doc then another cpn when i took a over does at the hospital seen me changed my meds to mirtazapine she only listens to ppl whos not me for some reason ive asked her about 12 times to refer me but no she wont... most of the time i take over doses for a cry for help just for her to listen to someone other then me ive already changed doctors i prolly cant again im too scared :weep:
I hate my self for the way i am and always will be
thanks for reading and take care all
Thanks Ozzy