New here with a fear of dying

[zoek]

Hi All,

I am fairly new here, I have been reading the boards and getting some comfort for a bit, but now I would like to post and get some more opinions/help :) Thank you!

About a month ago, I read an article about a woman whose brother told her, 'I know am going to die young' and then he did. :( That was all it took to send me into a panic. I have always had a strong fear of dying, and since I got pregnant with my now 2 yr old twins, I have been having nearly crippling anxiety over a wide variety of topics... they all seem to be related to me being seperated from my children.

I wonder, is it part of anxiety to think that my fears are becoming my desitiny? After reading that article, I took my longtime fear of death to mean my inner self telling me I would die young. I am becoming obsessed with this and can find no relief.

Now I am torturing myself now by thinking horrible things, such as: you won't make it to Christmas, and you won't make it to 28... (I'm 27 now)

Are these normal thoughts/feelings with anxiety?

Thank you all for reading this long winded post!

[SammiB]

I have the same feelings as you. i think that its just a natural worry.

when you have so much to live for at this moment in your life then you tend to worry that it can all be just taken away at anymoment.

i also read things abour death and then worry myself and spend hours crying - i even wrote out my death letters because i was convinced.

it is all anxiety and worry but i'm trying my hardest to think positivly then negative. i have some cbt books which are helping a little bit but i was thinking of looking at therapy, just so i don't jump to the worst conclusion.

you have so much good things in your life and should just worry about the current things and not whats going to happen. xxx

[zoek]

Thank you for your reply. I went for a session with a therapist today, but I don't think he understood what I was talking about... I didn't leave feeling any better at all.

[trac67]

Hi Zoe,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends

Take care

Trac xxx

I moved your thread to the introduction section, so that everyone can welcome you :)

[manmoor]

Hi Zoek,

A big warm welcome to you. xx

[honeybee3939]

Hi Zoe

Just wanted to welcome you too hun, its lovely to see you here, im sure you will get some great advice, support and make new friends too.:)

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxxx

[nomorepanic]

Hi Zoe

:welcome: aboard and lovely to see you here.

Hope we can be of some help.

[Nibbles]

Hi Zoek and :welcome:

You'll get loads of advice and support here while making new friends along the way.

Take care,

Mike :)

[celia davies]

I also have these thoughts,im constantly worryin about my health an other peoples health like my boyfiends an sons! Its a hard thing 2 come 2 terms with if ud like 2 talk some more privite message me talking about it may help
celia x

[Frankie23]

Welcome

I also have these thoughts im so scared of the unknown i spend hour pondering over it xx

[Franz]

Hi All,

I am fairly new here, I have been reading the boards and getting some comfort for a bit, but now I would like to post and get some more opinions/help :) Thank you!

About a month ago, I read an article about a woman whose brother told her, 'I know am going to die young' and then he did. :( That was all it took to send me into a panic. I have always had a strong fear of dying, and since I got pregnant with my now 2 yr old twins, I have been having nearly crippling anxiety over a wide variety of topics... they all seem to be related to me being seperated from my children.

I wonder, is it part of anxiety to think that my fears are becoming my desitiny? After reading that article, I took my longtime fear of death to mean my inner self telling me I would die young. I am becoming obsessed with this and can find no relief.

Now I am torturing myself now by thinking horrible things, such as: you won't make it to Christmas, and you won't make it to 28... (I'm 27 now)

Are these normal thoughts/feelings with anxiety?

Thank you all for reading this long winded post!

Hi Zoek. I sympathise. I've been having panic attacks recently in which I get similar feelings: the worry that my fears will become my destiny. A few weeks ago I was spending every day a shivering wreck and ended up having to take 2 weeks off work and stay with my parents.

Firstly, it sounds like you're doing the right thing in seeking therapy. Have you thought of asking to be prescribed medication for a while, to get you out of the cycle of negative thinking? I've found diazepam effective, though it's not recommended for long-term use.

Another thing that I realised was important in my case was trying to get out more, so I have more human contact. Isolation is a breeding-ground for obsessions, and if you're spending a lot of time just with your children, that may be a factor. If you don't have friends you feel you can talk to about your problem, it might be worth seeing a counsellor on a regular basis, just to have a sympathetic ear.

I sometimes ask myself this: how can you tell the difference between a belief based on certainty, and belief based on fear? You can't: the feeling is the same in both cases. A while back I got the hysterical idea in my head that a friend had committed suicide. I was *certain* of it: I just thought I had a kind of "intuition". But I got a text message from her the next day.

Fear is a self-protective instinct. With animals, if they're *sure* something bad's going to happen, they take every precaution to stop it. It's painful, but it keeps them alive. The problem is that human beings can worry about abstract things, about which there's nothing we can do: so there's no *tangible* defence we can set up against the thing we're scared of, and that fact makes us even more scared :\

In short: you're not alone in feeling like this. You've recognised your fear as fear, rather than certainty, which seems a positive step.

I could say more but I've banged on enough for now.

Best wishes,

Francis

[Lindalou64]

HELLO ZOEK AND WECOME TO THE SITE.........LINDA

[groovygranny]

Hello Zoe:welcome: to you!

These thoughts are very disturbing when you have them aren't they? But, as has been mentioned before - they are just anxious thoughts, although the feelings are very real. I remember thinking that I'd never be free of them - but that day did come, and it will to you. Keep on talking and seeing your therapist - after my first session with my lovely counsellor I also wondered 'what on earth was all that about?' but certainly felt the benfits of it the more I visited.

Glad you found us, pleased to meet you!

:flowers:

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Zoek,

Welcome to the site. There are many here who will understand what you have been feeling and can help.

Hugs,

Laura

[zoek]

Thank you all for the lovely welcome :) It is helpful to know I am not alone! I went to the therapist but he did not think I need medication, so we'll see what happens next.

Thank you all again!

[ladygrom]

hi zoek welcome your defo not alone we all understand how you feel hope to chatt to you soon tc elaine xx

[Zanxiety]

First of all, welcome to the forum zoek.

You'll meet dozens of people here who have the same particular fears like you. Many of us are supportive and knowledgable to help people cope with fears, depression and so on.

Admitidly, the fear of dying is one of my most common thoughts as well. I just dislike it. To know that eventually, they will be a point where we won't be able to think anymore is pretty frightening. Since dying is a scary thing, it's natiral to be woirried about it.

However, I always think that when we die, we go to heaven, although sometimes I prey one day there will be an invention that we have the opition to live forever on earth, just incase for some reason I'm wrong.

Do take care though, from Zanxiety.:) :)

(P.S: Rememeber the chances of you dying and that you are thinkinh about is is extremely unlikely.)