Perfectionism

[Keep going]

Hi all, over this last year i have made great strives in my social phobia. I go out all the time, met someone who likes me and wants to meet me, And should be starting work again in the newyear after time off. the only thing that bothers me at the mo is the amount of time i have off due to stress, injury and my social phobia. it seems to be a big sticking point with me. Especially when i may be going into a new relationship. But i have said i have social phobia and i'm not working to my full capability.

Am i worrying too much, trying to be perfect. Should some past things not be an issue as long you know where your going in life. Should the past stay the past?? or is this just perefectionism and i just need to accept myself for who i'am.

Stu:)

[bluebottle]

I've no answers Stu, but I find a lot of folk, including myself, who have emotional or mental health problems do tend to be perfectionists, BUT mainly with themselves. Ease up, your OK.

[Pink Panic]

Hi Stu,

I would agree with Blue and say go easy on yourself.

Being a perfectionist myself I know just how hard things like this can be.

Take good care.

Pink
x

[fork n knife]

Hi Stu,
just want to say that i used to be a perfectionist,and a loser with it.
I wouldn't attempt anything that i couldn't do perfectly.This meant
losing out on some great opportunities.So don't let perfectionism do this
to you.

All The Best FNK

[Keep going]

Thanks Peeps, great words of advice :), much appreciated :yesyes:

Stu:shades:

[Antipodes]

Hi Keepgoing,

I can relate to what you say. A couple of years ago, my psychologist recommended a book to me. I bought it and found it to be better than excellent. It is called "Too Perfect" I cannot recall the author and cannot find it at this moment in time :- ( So I can only say, if you "google" the title and read the synopsis, you might agree it is worth getting out of the library or buying. There are a few "gems" of wisdom in there that have permanently transformed some of my views about the world.

Antipodes

[Lilith1980]

Or try Amazon? They seem to have everything on there :D

I too strive to be perfect, which is fruitless because I always fall below my high standards and I end up thinking I have let people down and that they think less of me.

The key is to be more accepting of your faults and dont beat yourself up about things so much. But I am just at the start of working through my issues so I find it hard accepting if I muck up.

One thing I read in a CBT book was "Do you expect perfection in other people (family, friends)? If not, why do you expect it of yourself?"
xxxx

[Antipodes]

This is the book referred [above] I have a copy and it is very useful - you may relate closely to it, I did.

Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control (Paperback)

~ Jeannette Dewyze (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr_1?_encoding=UTF8&sort=relevancerank&search-alias=books&field-author=Jeannette%20Dewyze) (Author), Allan Mallinger (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr_2?_encoding=UTF8&sort=relevancerank&search-alias=books&field-author=Allan%20Mallinger) (Author) "This is a book about people who are too perfect for their own good..."

http://www.amazon.com/Too-Perfect-When-Being-Control/dp/0449908003