im the girlfriend

[shaznay]

Hi there some of you may remember i added a thread last week and had some great feedback my b/friend has been suffering with panic attacks and mainly health anxiety issues im pleased to say he is know seeing a councellor and im really pleased he has taken this step. Could I just ask a bit of advice about the health side if he complains now about health issues what is the best thing for me to do?

We went again to casualty on thursday and he was given a check everything was fine now he is complaining about his ears last night i said nothing and fell to sleep and so did he i felt like if i would have look concerned it would have made him worse but i would hate to do this if he was really ill i was told better not to keep reasurring but what do i say ? can anyone help

Thanks xxx:blush: :wacko:

[Lilith1980]

Its a tough one hun. I got to a stage where I wanted reassurance from my b/f and read that I had to try and stop doing this - I think this comes with being more sure and feeling safe within yourself.

There are times where I still feel the need to seek reassurance and I purposely bite my tongue. I can understand your point of view as it can get very frustrating. My boyfriend was getting fed up of me and unfortunately his reactions were making me feel worse so I thought it was time for me to take control of things.

One book that helped me was "CBT for Dummies", or I guess any CBT book could help your boyfriend.

I'll be honest, I dont know what the best way is to respond if he makes comments about feeling unwell or things not feeling right. I know that too "blunt" a response would probably upset him even more, as it did to me.

Its great hes seeing a counsellor, but I also think doing a bit of self-help via reading would be good too. Does he exercise? I took up exercise and I feel much better about myself I do still get periods of feeling down but I have more "normal" kind of phases than unhappy ones.

Sorry if I havent been much help hun xxx

[shaznay]

Thanks for that no he doesnt exercise but mentioned he should i have a few days off work next week so will try and get him to do stuff he started a new job but couldn't cope with it so he's off work now. He just come backfrom the doctors and the doctor said he had a trapped nerve in his neck so i think the pain wasn't in his head and now i feel bad. Reading the posts on here with how to deal with helped me as he always says his throat gets sore and hard to swallow and i think this is due to being tense. Iml learning so much and you guys are realling helping me thanks to who ever set up this website its wonderful.

[bottleblond]

Hi Shaznay,

Just tell your bf that he was seen by a doctor in hospital recently and if there was anything wrong with him then the doc would have picked up on it.

Lisa
xxx