Head Injury Really Bad Attacks

[adventvista]

yesterday morning my boyfriend throwed a tv remote control at my head, now today ive got a massive bruise and it still hurts.
every time ive been getting any sort of tingle in my head or twitch i start to have the worst panic attacks ever thinking omg ive got some sort of problem with my brain and am going to die.

It was so horrible when it happened all i can rember is a white flash before he hit me beside my eye was really scared.
Am so upset though as i havnt had panic attacks for almost 4 days.

[groovygranny]

Hi there adventvista,

If I was you I'd go to your GP or even straight to casualty for a check up - or ring the NHS helpline. Any blow to the head should be checked out for the possibilty of concussion and you should seek advice.

I'm not surprised you're having panic attacks - that must have been a most unpleasant experience for you.

Let us know how you get on ok?

Big hugs for you :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: XXX

[lesleyB]

Hi, I won't ask why he hit you but I think you will be okay, although I agree with GG get it checked out just to put your mind at rest and hopefully the pa's will stop.
Take care of yourself:flowers:
LesleyB

[lindaa]

Firstly I hope he hit you as an accident!!
I would go to my GP just to get it checked out if you have Ill effects of the blow. I hope your ok
Linda

[darkangel]

I agree I think this is something that you should get checked out.
Deal with that first then sort out why this has happened.
Take care

Darkangel x

[adventvista]

hey just a update since I havnt been able to get online in awhile.
Went to the doctors yesterday and she said it wasnt bad enough to cause any serious damage but that it was a bad place to get hit since it was right beside my eye.
Anyway after that she tried talking me into leaving my boyfriend again, which is something I simply cannot do because without him I would lose alot of things that are important to me.
It dosnt help though that now he is controlling me even more and now decides what I can have to eat since last week I had my benifits cut off.
Was a very stupid person on the phone when I rang them to change address and then they quized me and said that because my partner is earning XXX that I dont get any money. I tried tellnig them what he does and that were not really together and all that but they didnt want to hear any of it.
So result is now I cant buy anything food etc. He now decides what I get and when, hes not starving me or anything just very upsetting to lose more control since now i cannot buy anything even clothes without him.
My grandmother who we live with aswell tells me I cant leave him either since we cant afford the rent without him. So she said to just close my eyes and act nice.

Good news is though finally got put on medication think it is calledFluoxetine.
Hopefully this will help my anxiety alot. When I did the test I scored think it was 18/20 for anxiety and 3 out of 20 I think for depression.

thanks for all the replys.

[nomorepanic]

Get out of there quick if you suffer that kind of abuse!

Don't listen to those that say accept it and get on with it - you are worth more than that!

You don't need him

[groovygranny]

Hello Adventvista,

Glad you checked out ok at the docs, and that you're on meds that will hopefully help you a lot.

However, and I hope you don't mind me saying this, I really don't think your domestic situation is going to help matters. Being under someone else's control , as you say you are, will only complicate matters and hinder any progress you might make.

Please, take another look at the things that you would lose should you leave your boyfriend and really consider how important they are to you. Is anything as important as giving up control of your life to another person?

If I have spoken out of turn here I apologise - but I am concerned that you are in a 'no-win' situation here with regard to your anxiety, unless you take action to change it.

Hugs for you :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

xxx

PS: just saw nic's reply - i have to agree with her!

[Insomniac]

Hi Adventvista

Glad to hear doc is happy about your head not being too bad. Only thing you need to sort out now is your boyfriend.

I think on some level you know this but its hard to leave. A good friend of mine was in a relationship and married someone who became more and more controlling, its part of a pattern. Then he became verbally and physically more abusive in the most awful ways. Get out. Thats all I can say. Whatever you have or whatever you would lose does not matter compared to your health.

I hope my reply causes no offence, but we are all concerned for you. If you doctor has talked to you again, then there is already a pattern. This is not a one-off and they do not get better. Please take care of yourself and your grandmother - why should he stop with you?

Your mental and physical health will suffer in a situation like this. I hope the meds help you be more in control. Your grandmother comes from a different generation. The benefit system is there to help people that need it. You would be looked after.

[skitty]

Hi adventvista,
Sorry to butt in here but I agree with the others. Abuse doesnt get better , it gets worse, especially when they have got you in a position where they think they can control you.
He has already become physically abusive toward you and this will escalate.
Also in my opinion abuse leads to dissociation (when part of you just floats off and lives in an alternate reality) which will definitely lead to more panic and anxiety.
If you get your benefits back will you be able to afford the rent with your gran? What about rent assistance? Maybe you could rent somewhere cheaper?
Trust me Ive been there and its not worth it. Can you work? Even a job in Mcdonalds would be better than putting up with an abusive situation.
Take care of yourself xx

[ladygrom]

hi im realy sorry for what youve gon threw please get out of the relasionship you realy dont deserve that kind of abuse .your health is more important and if hes don it once hel do it again get out of ther .tc elaine xx

[dawny]

hi, im sorry to hear what your going through.....i now its hard to be positive and make this decsion, if you arent well..... get your benefits sorted ring again and explain your situation and you and your grandmother can have peace of mind that the rent will be paid.

then deal with the boyfriend situation, firstly stand up to him, it doesnt have to be in an aggresive manner, but be firm tell him what you want from life, him and situation around you.

dont stand for him, then as you grow stronger you will realise you do not need him in your life.....trust me.

you already know all this though dont you, and remember time does not stand still, you will look back at this period in your life and think wow i survived and i am now a stronger person and you wont easily let anyone control you again.

good luck and best wishes for your future

take care

dawny x

[adventvista]

thank you all for your support it means so much.
The mdeication isnt working as of yet hough I think the side effects are lol.
Since started taking them have had really bad vision problems and felt like im gonna faint and am disconnected from myself.
Hopefully these are normal only really annoying because the side effects cause panic attacks.

I really wish I could leave him but it is a very hard thing to do when there is no one else in my life who cares for me. My nan while living with me dosnt really like me but did it out of convience for her.
Hopefully soon I will have a job, tomorrow iam going to look into apprentischps for assisant librian which is a job I have always wanted to do so am going to see about it at the job centre.

It is very hard right now because he has destroyed my life because of him I nolonger have any friends or anyone. Its not even a real relationship he just loves the control. I would stand up to him but every time I have he becomes violent. One time He was hitting me and I hit him back with a wok but he called the police on me and told them I was crazy so they gived me wrong threatened me with being arrested and treated him like the victim.

Anyway thx for replys Iam trying to brake free its just very hard and my panic attacks arnt helping. Hopefully if I can push myself into a job I like and make real friends I can finally leave him.

[ladygrom]

hi i no it must be realy hard for you m8 maybe finding a job will help you and you will make new freinds and socialise more .it must be soo hard for you at the mo but youl come threw all this hope you feel better soon tc elaine xxx

[dawny]

hi ya

you sound lovely to me......

and i think you are making your mind to not put up with him....for much longer

the future is bright !!!!!

good luck, take care, thinking of you

dawny x

[lindaa]

I am so sorry you are going through all this!!
No wonder you have anxity attacks living with that!!
Im so sorry, but you need to get out. Its called self preservation.
There are hostels and Womans aid that can help.
Womans aid number is 0808 2000 247 or helpline@womensaid.org.uk.
They will help you! Your mental health will improve for that Im sure!!
He is abusing you, and if your Granmother knows what is going on she is also a part of this.
Im so glad you are going for your job this will help you financially, and maybe make independance a little easier!!
I promise you, if you leave you will feel so much better. It will be a hard struggle at first, but a lot better than living the way you are at the moment.
Your in my thoughts
Linda

Im sorry I surmised you were a woman you could be a man if so Im so sorry for the genralisation.
If you are a man theres a helpline 0808 801 0327 www.mensadviceline.org.uk/ (http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/)
Again Im sorry for jumping in without Knowing
Linda

x

[s11fyx]

i have been in this situation and u dont have to stay with him/her cos of the rent! i know how gard it is to leave it tooks me months after many injuries and lots of minds games! this cant be helping ur anixiety and is only feeding it! u need to leave as soon as u feel strong enough! dont belive there sorrys it always happens again! dont worry bout the rent the womens aid/domestic violence helpline will help u and any 1 who lives with u get ur life bk on track with out ur partener! dont just close ur eyes and live with it and dont ket the good times u have with him/her take over like i did!
sorry this is happening to u!
hopefully if u csn leave him ur anixtys will lie a bit as u wont be worrying everytime he comes in through the door

[skitty]

Hi Adventvista,
Ive been where you are and i KNOW what its like.
I was so scared and intimidated that i was terrified that if i tried to leave him he would kill me. I thought it was better to put up with the daily fear and anguish than bring it to a head and risk the consequences.
Eventually tho my health began to fail from all the stress, i had virtually stopped eating, my immune system was shot and i was sick all the time - I realised It was killing me anyway so I might as well make a break for it.
You cant live like this.
You say there is no one else to care for you but HE DOESNT CARE FOR YOU.This is not love it is control. You are his prey and he is your ENEMY.
There is someone to care for you - YOU. If you dont care for you no one else will. When it comes right down to it we are all alone and must look after ourselves.
You wont be able to have a job, friends or any independence while he is still in your life. This is one of the major ways they control and isolate us.
You can get an Apprehended Violence Order or Intervention Order from Police and Magistrates court (dont know the law in UK). Dont accept poor treatment from the police. Tell them whats happening - get a citizens advocate to help you or the Salvation Army.
Look up "how to leave an abusive partner" on the net for advice - this needs to be done safely. Make plans. Erase your net history if he can check this or use a net cafe.
Dont wait until you feel stronger - you wont. You will be worn down further and further until you feel completely helpless.
I left in the middle of the night with nothing - and he got me 2 days later when i came back for my purse, papers and babies medication.
Be safe , plan sensibly, pack a secret escape bag - get out and dont come back.
It will be very hard for you , maybe for a year or two , but you can do it, and it will make you a stronger person. Also away from this situation you will have a new life and WILL be able to make friends.
Does your gran have any friends or relatives she can stay with?
Look after yourself - im thinking of you xx

You will be surprised how strong you can be when you face your fears head on. Dont fight with him dont confront him just make your secret safe plans and then when you get the opportunity GO.

[skitty]

This is a good site (and there are many others).
Do as much reading as you can - you need to reverse brainwash yourself!
Good luck

http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/men/page11.html

xxx