Thoughts

[Karen72]

My name is Karen and I'm new to this site. My 'problem' started about 6 weeks ago although I suspect it was starting a few weeks before that but in between I'd been on a fantastic holiday. My first panic attack happened after i'd got into a major argument with my ex sister-in-law but I resolved that one before I went on hols. When I got back off my hols, that's when they seemed to start in ernest! I haven't had a panic attack for nearly 2 weeks but it's the thoughts that 'haunt' me so to speak. I fear something happening to me or my family & I find I sometimes hate planning things for the future cos I don't see the point just in case.... I have got better in the last few days telling myself it's better to be organised. Why do I have these thoughts of impending doom? Does anyone get this? I'd love to hear your experiences & if & how you overcame this horrible pattern of thought

[imported_n/a]

Karen
Those patterns of thought, overtime will change, carry on with you're usual routines, never be scared of thoughts, they'll drift away just like all our thoughts do, eventually. i had a 'nervous breakdown' whilst in spain, and I obsessed about suicide and the main fear I had was leaving my children Motherless..those thoughts went after about 2 months..I have still some generalised anxiety, but hopefully that will go in time. I'm currenly trying the Linden Method

Kind regards
hayleyx

Hayley x

[Karen72]

Hi Hayley
Thank you for those kind words. It has got better in the last couple of weeks. I still can;t get them completely out of my mind at the mo & I'm stressing myself out over having to have my smear test this week (I'm not worried about the test just the results!!) I feel ok physically, I eat well, I'm pretty active so I don't know, I just worry!!!
Karen

[andrew]

hi karen

good luck with test, lets hope its ok, try not to worry.

take care andrew

[kate]

Hi Karen,
I also have a problem with worrying about impending doom. I can never just relax and let things happen. I always have to be on my guard against the things that MIGHT go wrong. I worry as well as to whether anything will happen to my children on their way to school. whether I will crash the car going to work and the list goes on and on. I was also told, during therapy, that the more times a thing is done ie driving a car, and nothing bad happens, then you will gradually stop fearing it. Not in my case! I always think "oh well, it MUST by the law of averages happen this time!I've just been lucky the previous times!" And so it goes on. It is not at all easy to deal with and it is very exhausting.
Take care Kate x

[Laurie28]

I know how you feel Kate everything is a near miss. my therapist said the same keep on trying and it will eventually get better. All i can say is these guys know what they are talking about!!
I however should practise what i perach cause at this moment i am struggling even trying things

Take care
Lucky

[kate]

Lucky, i know what you are saying but when will the "eventually get better" kick in?????? Kate x

[twister]

I agree. I still get on the tube every day and have done for the last 2 years (Apart from a couple of really bad weeks)and I still feel the same level on anxiety.

[jonny]

quote:Originally posted by kate_r

I was also told, during therapy, that the more times a thing is done ie driving a car, and nothing bad happens, then you will gradually stop fearing it. Not in my case! I always think "oh well, it MUST by the law of averages happen this time!I've just been lucky the previous times!"


Hi Kate,

I had to smile when i read this, we really are a mad bunch aren't we? Can you imagine what an outsider would think on looking it at us? It is that kind of thinking that keeps me smiling and its the smiling that keeps me sane. It can only be a good thing that i can laugh at myself and the wild thoughts that i have because i, like u kate, think very much the same way.
But that is what we have to keep telling ourselves - these thoughts are irrational and only serve to encourage our illness. I know its hard stop our thoughts as they are automatic but what i do is try to distract my attention as soon as they occur. I find this helps as i don't dwell on what i cannot control.

Best wishes kate and try to keep smiling

Jon

I used to be extremely indecisive but now I am not so sure...

[kate]

Jonny, Thanks for the reply! I must be worse than I thought, cos I
imagined my thinking to be RATIONAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kate x

[jonny]

Thats our problem, we convince ourselves that our thoughts are truthful and rational when in fact sometimes i think our poorly minds lie to us a little and try to trick us into continuing the nasty cycle of anxiety. It is not suprising really as our bodies are bound to act strange under stress and strain. After all don't our legs ache and wobble a bit after extreme work so why not our minds and thoughts? The real trick is to notice this happenning and divert that train of thought down another, more positive, line.

Jon

I used to be extremely indecisive but now I am not so sure...

[Meg]

Try viewing our nervous systems as our risk management centre.

As we convince ourselves - through newspapers, TV, our own experiences, watching films etc- that the world is a very scary place, our own risk management system starts to become on edge. Our stress thresholds become heightened and a stime goes by it take smaller and smaller things to happen in order for our nervous system to respond by pumping out the chemicals.

So all that coupled with our very negative, downward spiraling thoughts, with which we're tricking ourselves that these 'things' are real emergencies to us.

We now have our nervous sytem in an exhausted state and then it fires off for very little valid reasons at all.

Our risk management should be used well but not to extremes. There is nothing you can do to alter the results of a medical test.
Every time it comes into your head change the thought - do not allow yourself to dwell or wallow in it until the day of your appointment. It's very hard but does come with perserverence and determination.

Ask yourself if the thought is rational or not. If you think it is then fine - What can you do about it ? Then do it, resolve it or leave it.

Then ask yourself if - in the great scheme of life whether the thought is realistic worth all the energy you're devoting to it.... Again decide , do what you can and then deliver it from you.

Karen - the thoughts of impending doom are extremely common anxiety thoughts. All of us have them , the deciding factor is how much you allow them to dominate you.

Kate- they eventually go when you stop the thoughts to dominate you. Really they do ..

Hayley- the Linden method is all about total distraction which is great and breathing - also great. If what you're using for distraction doesn't grab you enough it won't work. Give it a really good go. I know it also says you 'shouldn't' do anything else except his programme so participating here is contravening his philosophy.
However, I would add to the distraction and breathing that you do need to examine your thoughts and change them from negative ones to positive ones. Especially as you're too well and active to be able to be absorbed with one hobby ie. kids might get in the way !!

You mentioned difficulties at home previously. Perhaps you might consider whether being anxious is actually reasonable considering the stresses you might still be under. We can only start to really heal once the main pressures and worries are behind us.

Jon- You're there ! Easier said then done but you're well on the way.


Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[Laurie28]

Kate,

I'm afraid i don't know when 'eventually get better' kicks in. All i know is it has to get better and by keeping doing the things you are afraid off and working hard to combat it then it MUST get better! Reading some of the posts here should give you hope people have improved and got better (ie Radar). I think the fact that you are still trying (eg driving) is a very positive step in itself.

Chin up

luv
Lucky