Just recently diagnosed with social anxiety

[Unhappy_Tiger]

Well, my psychiatrist didn't directly say social anxiety disorder, more hinted at it, strangely enough. He prescribed me Paxil , which so far I've found all right, though I've heard it gets worse before it gets better (which has, so far, been true).

I'm dreading going back for a follow-up, it was hard enough to ask for help on a one on one basis with an authority figure, but I just don't think I'll be able to do it again. I went over our conversation again and again afterwards, picking out all the mistakes I made and stressing out about them. But I don't want to ask for a referral either, because I don't want to hurt his feelings... egh...

Anyways, just decided to post because it was pretty lonely having no posts in here, and I wanted to hear other people's experiences. I find it comforting to hear about how other people are handling it and that I'm not alone.

[andrew]

hi u-tiger

it is ok for you to say you'd be more comfortable talking to a woman, im sure he wont take it too personally. also some kind of cbt therapy will produce more benefits than just the paxil alone.

i would have described myself as having social anxiety during my time and i do still see aspects of it in my personality. but i did wanna tell you, that you can get over it.

i think the key is learning to like yourself and be at ease with the person you are. apart from doing 'meds', 'therapy' - talking about yourself will help, i can remember doing it on the phone and on-line before i was ready for face to face. also analysing conversations / interactions with other people is part of the course, talking to a professional is a on-going learning situation, nothing is set in stone, try not to beat yourself up about anything said.

you're not alone and will get there in the end ... tc andrew

[Karen]

Hi Unhappy_Tiger

I also have social phobia and have had difficulty with verbal communication for a large part of my life, although it became a real problem from about the age of 12.

I've spent years avoiding having to be with people and particularly having to speak. Over the years I have found ways of avoiding verbal communication, relying more and more heavily on writing and now on email. It is the only way I feel totally comfortable in communicating.

The medication can help but I believe this does need to be combined with therapy in order to make any real progress. I can understand how difficult it is for you to have one-to-one therapy. I spent almost six months with my last therapist and relied on writing almost the entire time. However, I've now started with someone new and am having to speak more, although I still send emails between my sessions to elaborate on things I haven't been able to say when I've seen her.

I also analyse what I've said and done after the event, and go over all the mistakes I made, building them up into catastrophies in the end. This is part of social phobia/anxiety. I do it whenever I have contact with people but it isn't very helpful and I think just contributes to low self-esteem issues.

Regarding asking for a referral to someone else, I wouldn't worry about hurting the psychiatrist's feelings. It is important to feel comfortable with the therapist you see and he will be used to this kind of thing. I personally would not feel comfortable seeing a man. If it is going to be difficult for you to ask him in person for a referral to see someone else, could you perhaps write to him before your next appointment? Or you could try ringing him if you are able to speak more easily on the phone.

I don't know what the chances are of a full recovery from this. I did start to make some progress a couple of months ago. Some very kind members of this forum were talking to me on the phone so I could practise speaking and it was helping. However, this has currently come to a halt because my depression has deepened and tackling the social phobia isn't the number one priority at present.

You are definitely not alone in this and I hope you get some help and support from being here.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[Unhappy_Tiger]

Thanks both for posting, and I'm really sorry to hear about your depression, Karen. I sometimes get occasional depressive spells but by no means have clinical depression.

Is there any chance of just... I'm not sure, retraining myself through gradual exposure, raising my hand in class, etc etc without a therapist? Or would that just probably make it worse?

Regarding CBT... I'm a bit confused, though I've tried to do some research. Is it possible to do it on your own with tapes? Or is it in a group setting or what?

Thanks again, I appreciate everything everyone has to say.

[jo-jo]

If you would feel more comfortable with a lady then I think its a great idea that you ask for one and no, your psychiatrist won't be offened at all, he will appreciate how difficult this is for you.

Try not to beat yourself up over what was or wasn't said in your conversation with him, you have made a wonderful giant first step in seeking help and of this you should be very proud. Don't give up, you've on the right road, its just a case of tweaking the details so you feel as comfortable as possible with your treatment plan.

On a personal note, although I don't suffer social phobia, I can relate to what you are saying about one to one's with people, I feel excrucuiatingly self conscious and uncomfortable for example when having meetings with my lectuers at uni, so I can appreciate a little of how tough this is for you.

Good luck!
Love Jo xx

"courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear"

[andrew]

hi u-tiger

i think you could certainly confront some of your fears on your own, raising your hand in class and stuff like that.
i think its sensible not to try and do it all on your own though, main reasons being that we get caught up in our own anxiety and we cant step back and see the big picture or another point of view or anything positive in our actions. that doesnt mean you need a professional, a self help group, good friend, whatever you think will work for you is worth a try, tc ... andrew

[Unhappy_Tiger]

That makes sense. I'll try gradual exposure with a friend, perhaps.

Thanks SO much for everyone's support!