Ad nauseum
11-12-07, 16:50
Hi - for some reason i've just lost the great long message i wrote!! Second time lucky...
I need some advice - i dont have a life and it doesnt seem to make any difference how much i try to help myself, i cant do it alone and the help i need just doesnt seem to be there!! I've suffered from anxiety and (associated?) depression for about 16 years - and although i have times when i'm more able than at others to go out and do things (basic things that i can escape from, and still panicing desperately and trying to make it look like i'm not!), at the moment i'm having a really hard time. I'm hardly leaving the house, feel anxious all the time, and am very tearful and pretty desperate (not for the first time)!
I've tried counselling (4 seperate courses) which seem to only provide short term relief, have been on numerous drugs (seroxat, prozac, mirtrazapine, efexor, beta blockers) and tried herbal and homeopathic remedies, had hypnotherapy, read a lot of self help books, tried relaxation tapes and exercises and spent hours doing online research - but here i am still, stuck and unsure of what i can do now that might make a difference and give me a life!!
My doctor arranged for me to CBT - which took months to sort out! - after the 1st session i felt scared but almost excited - the 2nd meeting was a disaster! A different person showed up and i had to go through everything all over again, then was told i should seek more counselling and then set up another meeting! I was heart broken! I dont want to have to go through all the counselling again! I just want a life!
I spoke to my doctor after the 2nd session and he asked if i'd "like" to see a psychiatrist (something i've never done before) and that he'd write a letter. So now i'm waiting again to see what happens next.
I feel like life is passing me by and all i do is watch from inside the house! I hardly go out, i have no money, my confidence has hit rock bottom and i rarely see any friends as they have their own lives to lead.
I've been signed off my part time job for about 3 1/2 months and 4 weeks ago stopped taking all my medication (having to deal with so many side effects on top of the anxiety and depression seemed pointless!).
After 16 years i want to have a life - not just an existence! Is that too much to ask? I keep going back to the Dr and asking for help, but i just get told that i managed to do ??? so thats better than it used to be. The fact that i have get enjoyment from anything isnt noted or even that if i do leave the house (if i can stop myself crying for that long!) i stay wherever i have to be for as long as is necessary and then run away.
Any advice would be great :-) thank you.
I need some advice - i dont have a life and it doesnt seem to make any difference how much i try to help myself, i cant do it alone and the help i need just doesnt seem to be there!! I've suffered from anxiety and (associated?) depression for about 16 years - and although i have times when i'm more able than at others to go out and do things (basic things that i can escape from, and still panicing desperately and trying to make it look like i'm not!), at the moment i'm having a really hard time. I'm hardly leaving the house, feel anxious all the time, and am very tearful and pretty desperate (not for the first time)!
I've tried counselling (4 seperate courses) which seem to only provide short term relief, have been on numerous drugs (seroxat, prozac, mirtrazapine, efexor, beta blockers) and tried herbal and homeopathic remedies, had hypnotherapy, read a lot of self help books, tried relaxation tapes and exercises and spent hours doing online research - but here i am still, stuck and unsure of what i can do now that might make a difference and give me a life!!
My doctor arranged for me to CBT - which took months to sort out! - after the 1st session i felt scared but almost excited - the 2nd meeting was a disaster! A different person showed up and i had to go through everything all over again, then was told i should seek more counselling and then set up another meeting! I was heart broken! I dont want to have to go through all the counselling again! I just want a life!
I spoke to my doctor after the 2nd session and he asked if i'd "like" to see a psychiatrist (something i've never done before) and that he'd write a letter. So now i'm waiting again to see what happens next.
I feel like life is passing me by and all i do is watch from inside the house! I hardly go out, i have no money, my confidence has hit rock bottom and i rarely see any friends as they have their own lives to lead.
I've been signed off my part time job for about 3 1/2 months and 4 weeks ago stopped taking all my medication (having to deal with so many side effects on top of the anxiety and depression seemed pointless!).
After 16 years i want to have a life - not just an existence! Is that too much to ask? I keep going back to the Dr and asking for help, but i just get told that i managed to do ??? so thats better than it used to be. The fact that i have get enjoyment from anything isnt noted or even that if i do leave the house (if i can stop myself crying for that long!) i stay wherever i have to be for as long as is necessary and then run away.
Any advice would be great :-) thank you.