sparkle1986
13-12-07, 11:53
Hi, I'm not sure who to talk to about this and to be honest actually can't speak out loud about it.
Last year I lived in a house with 3 other girls, and 1 of them (let's call her Jane) developed a mental illness and started self-harming. She then took an overdose while I was in the house alone with her, and I had to deal with it and take her to hospital, and another of my housemates eventually joined us (I'm quite a sensitive person so this kind of thing threw me to the point where I went completely numb, until the next day when I spent the entire day in tears and shaking). In the days that followed, Jane did not say a word to either of us that had helped her, did not thank us at all. A few days later, in fact, she waited til she was in the house alone with each of us and tried to threaten us, saying if we had told anyone about the OD she would kill us.
In the months that followed, things spiralled. She behaved agressively toward both of us, leaving notes under our doors, distressing poems about wanting to die, etc. One night she even pretended to be drunk having not drunk anything, "collapsed" against the other girl's door and told both of us we didn't care about anyone else (if you knew me, you'd know this is the exact opposite of the truth).
The long and short of it is that for the entire year she continued to terrorise me and this other girl, psychologically, and as far as I'm concerned, completely deliberately. The thing is though, the other girl we lived with didn't believe us when we told her about it, so we were trapped. We tried going to a counsellor but it didn't help.
Anyway, I moved out of that house in June but my problem is I think I'm having anxiety attacks because of it still. If I ever see Jane, even from a distance, I will shake uncontrollably, feel incredibly sick and spontaneously start crying and be unable to stop. My heart goes so fast I can't breathe, it's horrible. I'm not even sure why this is happening but I need it to stop. Even just thinking about her brings it on - this morning I actually vomited because I read she's got job interviews, to work as a nurse.
I guess it annoys me the most that she's "got away with it" and I'm left a wreck. I'm happy enough normally but just the thought of her, or a glimpse of her or even seeing photos or thinking about last year I can't control what happens.
I need to get over this and I don't know how :(
Does anyone have any advice?
I can't go and see anyone as I can't speak about this without breaking down.
Last year I lived in a house with 3 other girls, and 1 of them (let's call her Jane) developed a mental illness and started self-harming. She then took an overdose while I was in the house alone with her, and I had to deal with it and take her to hospital, and another of my housemates eventually joined us (I'm quite a sensitive person so this kind of thing threw me to the point where I went completely numb, until the next day when I spent the entire day in tears and shaking). In the days that followed, Jane did not say a word to either of us that had helped her, did not thank us at all. A few days later, in fact, she waited til she was in the house alone with each of us and tried to threaten us, saying if we had told anyone about the OD she would kill us.
In the months that followed, things spiralled. She behaved agressively toward both of us, leaving notes under our doors, distressing poems about wanting to die, etc. One night she even pretended to be drunk having not drunk anything, "collapsed" against the other girl's door and told both of us we didn't care about anyone else (if you knew me, you'd know this is the exact opposite of the truth).
The long and short of it is that for the entire year she continued to terrorise me and this other girl, psychologically, and as far as I'm concerned, completely deliberately. The thing is though, the other girl we lived with didn't believe us when we told her about it, so we were trapped. We tried going to a counsellor but it didn't help.
Anyway, I moved out of that house in June but my problem is I think I'm having anxiety attacks because of it still. If I ever see Jane, even from a distance, I will shake uncontrollably, feel incredibly sick and spontaneously start crying and be unable to stop. My heart goes so fast I can't breathe, it's horrible. I'm not even sure why this is happening but I need it to stop. Even just thinking about her brings it on - this morning I actually vomited because I read she's got job interviews, to work as a nurse.
I guess it annoys me the most that she's "got away with it" and I'm left a wreck. I'm happy enough normally but just the thought of her, or a glimpse of her or even seeing photos or thinking about last year I can't control what happens.
I need to get over this and I don't know how :(
Does anyone have any advice?
I can't go and see anyone as I can't speak about this without breaking down.