Hi everyone

[BasilCat]

Hi everyone, I have been coming here for a couple of months now and find the site great.

I am feeling unreal whilst I sit here and am aware, having read Claire Weekes books and also Paul Davids, "At last a life", that I have got to accept any feelings and not fight against them. Easier said than done though, isnt it.

I have been troubled with anxiety since July last year and during April, May and July this year, I was getting over it. Then we went to Oban for a week at the end of July and a week or two after we came home, I had a relapse. It came back with different symptoms and fear thoughts.

The fear thoughts are:

1) I dont want to drive the car so far because of the unreality.
2) I dont want to go anywhere with hubby/kids/friends etc untill I feel more confident in my self. I dont want to feel rough and show myself up and have them reject me the way my dad did 30 years ago when I started with my fist bout of anxiety!!!
3) When I go out with the car (just locally) I dont want to be far away from the car.

All the above is because of the unreality, I find myself bracing myself against it and thats the last thing I should do isnt it.

Sitting here, I must admit that apart from the unreality, I feel fine. So its really just the unreality and the thoughts above that are restricting my life and have been since we got back from holiday this summer.

I managed a trip to Yorkshire with hubby on Saturday. We went the 60 miles to my parents and then we went to a coffee shop near Bolton Abbey. I actually felt as near normal in the coffee shop as was possible, for the first time in ages. I wasnt keeping an eye on the door or the time and I didnt have the car keys in my hand either (I usually take the keys off hubby so I can go and sit somewhere quiet if need be) so that felt great. But now I am back to this being tense and unreal again and was the same at Slimming World earlier this morning. The trouble is, when it starts it makes me tense, then I feel like I "want" to concentrate on it to make sure it doesnt get worse!! So then I can feel almost imobilised by it!!

Anyone else feel this way?

Thanks
Shirley

[chalky]

Shirley,

Remember what you have actually achieved recently!!!!
BIG PAT ON THE BACK FOR YOU.
Keep talking about it and keep using the Site and its members as part of your recovery.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[BasilCat]

Thanks Chalky. Much appreciated. Yes, If I was nearly over this 6 months ago, then I can get back there again. The only difference being the fear thoughts - though I had the unreality before I was recovering back then too. However, it got less and less, till I was able to do practically anything, apart from driving long distances that is.
Thanks again.
Shirley

[manmoor]

Hi Shirley,

A big warm welcome to you. xx

[BasilCat]

Thanks Mandy. I just feel so lonely with all this. No-one in the family understands my situation. Its been very isolating and very difficult as I am sure you know. At least I am able to get out and about a bit but largely its in my own time and at my own pace. I know this will stop sometime, its just seems to have been with me for so long now.

Love Shirley

[ladygrom]

hi shirley you certainly arnt alone i understand wat your going threw you will get ther everyone on this site understands .please tc elaine xxxx ive been wer you are and six months on feeling bit better i no how awful and scary those symtoms of unreality feel its as tho your in different suroundings kinda weird xxtc

[BasilCat]

Hi Ladygrom, Thanks for your kind words. This is far from easy isnt it. I am glad that everyone here understands what I am going through and that you are feeling a bit better. Thanks again. I know I wil get there eventually.

Love Shirley

[SANDYJANE]

Hi and a big warm welcome.

love Sandy xxx

[Lindalou64]

HELLO SHIRLEY AND WELCOME TO THE SITE I WISH YOU WELL......LINDA

[BasilCat]

Hi Sandy and Linda, Thank you for your warm welcome to the site. Much appreciated.

Love Shirley
x

[honeybee3939]

Hi Shirley

And Welcome, your in good company here, its lovely to be amongst people who understand how we feel.:hugs: Hope the site can help hun.

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[BasilCat]

Thanks Andrea. Yes its great to be in the company of people who understand how we feel isnt it. Yes the site will be most helpful I am sure.

Love Shirley
x

[nomorepanic]

Hi Shirley

Just wanted to :welcome: you aboard and hope we can be of some help.

You will meet some great people on here and get loads of support and advice.

[Southern_Belle]

Shirley,

Hello and welcome to the site. Many here have felt like you do and you will find that you are not alone.

Hugs,

Laura

[BasilCat]

Hi Nicola and Laura, Thanks so much for your welcome messages. Thanks also for letting me know I am not alone and that I will be meet some great people here and find lots of support and advice too. It sounds like just what I need.

Love Shirley
x x x

[trac67]

Hi,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends

Take care

Trac xxx

[groovygranny]

Hello Shirley:welcome: to you!

Yep, acceptance is a big part of getting on top of our 'affliction' !

But, it's a great feeling knowing you can be in control even though you get 'episodes'.

It is extremely hard work, and can be very tiring. Sometimes you'll feel as if you haven't made any progress at all - but, in reality, you have!

You've made such good progress by the sound of it - and there's no reason why that shouldn't continue. Plenty of help and support here!

Pleased to meet you!

:flowers:

[BasilCat]

Hi Trac and GG, Lovely to hear from you. Thanks for your warm welcomes. Much appreciated. Yes acceptance is the thing isnt it. I know, it can be very hard work and very tiring. I have been like this (apart from during April, May and June this year) since July last year and its not the first time either. Yes, I have made progress though my main areas of concern are UNREALITY feelings and getting it into my head that nothing terrible will happen as a result of them if I just accept and float through them instead of bracing myself against them as I have been doing! I know when my confidence is low as I walk very tense and slowly. Then my balance goes a bit.... So relaxing with the feeling is the key isnt it.

I was in Yorkshire on Saturday with my mum and felt as near as damn it, normal. I wasnt watching the door or the clock in the coffee shop and I didnt have the car keys in my hand so I could go and "hide" if need be, either. So that was great. But by Monday, I wasnt as good again.

However I was in Asda this morning and managed to wait in a small queue for my photos, and at the PO this afternoon too.
If

If I could just get past these thoughts of: I only want to go out on my own and I dont want to be far from the car when I do go out. Also, I dont want to go out of town with the car because of the unreality.

But yes, I have made progress, even if I dont see it all the time.

Do you and GG, and Trac both suffer with anxiety?

Thanks again.
Love and hugs
Shirley
x x x

[woofytalk]

You've achieved so much! the glass is half FULL!

Always remember that your perception is your reality. Rather that trying to change reality, try to change your perspective.

Warm Regards,
Rachel

[Pink Princess]

http://seedsforsoul.com/blueangel/s23welcome2.jpg

welcome to the site, hope to see you around soon xxxx