Hi to all

[Sukki]

I'm a 40 year old health anxiety freak, it really only started afew years ago but i now think it stems back to being abused as a child by my dad, i am a terrible googler and have convinced myself of all sorts of terminal illness and diseases, and confirmed my fears by making any symptoms i find fit my particular illness at the time. the worst of it is i know i do it and have conversations with myself one telling me i got the problem and one telling me i'm being stupid and to get a grip. I have been prescribed Citolpram for the second time, and have been on it nearly 2 weeks, the side effects have been awful this time as gone in on 20mg a day, i was googleing when i found this website and it made me feel so much better to know i wasn't the only one suffering, i see people at work and out and about and think how easy their life looks and wish i was them instead of me. i've had primary councilling earlier this year, and have to go for more now.
all i want is peace of mind, and to be happy, without worrying about m health, i go to the doctors but i'm terrified of the place.

[MessedUp]

Hi there, you've come to a good forum for reassurance.
Have a good look around, try all the links on the left, try the live Chat Room, and try Active Topics each time you come back here to see what's been posted in the meantime.
Give the SSRI pills a chance to do their job and see how it goes... they'll probably help lift your mood so that you can make a better effort to stop worrying. That part is down to you - you have to make the effort to stop yourself thinking such things (easier said than done after so much practice, I know .. but you'll have to try) and in time you'll gain the strength to stop thinking such destructive thoughts.
take care.. good luck